April Fools Question

I am not a Catholic, so I must ask, since it popped into my head this morning with the news that the Pope’s health has taken a drastic turn for the worse:

“Would Catholics be super-pissed, or would they simply be relieved if they found out that it was a massive April Fool’s joke perpetrated by the Vatican?”

If I was Pope, I’d probably try it. Discuss.

Poker is an Asscock

(title courtesy of Mrs. Head)

I was hoping to get out of class early last night so I could take over my spot at the table for the WPBT tourney.

Didn’t happen.

It’s probably best, since Mrs. Head made it to 40^th hanging on with the thinnest of stacks and the worst cards, whereas I most likely would have gone out earlier on some kind of dumbass play.

Here is a card summary courtesy of Mrs. Head: My cards sucked. Highest hand all night was a pair of 6’s. I saw three Aces, all with a 2 or a 3 kicker. It’s like I got slapped with some kind of unlucky asscock. (OK, I admit it, she didn’t really write that, it’s just a short summary of a longer diatribe)

Other than the cards though, it was a blast, and she thanks all of the folks she played with and spoke to for making it fun, including Shelly, April, UpforPoker (CJ?), John Paul, and Pauly. Apologies to anyone she missed, she wasn’t sure who everyone was and didn’t feel like taking a bunch of notes.

Highlight of the evening: Finding out that “asscock” is allowed in chat.

Asscock, Asscock, Asscock. Use it in a sentence today.

PS—If your feeling the blues from work, check out the StB’s haiku in the comments of the previous post. Nice.

Haiku for the Corporate Monkey

Bland colors painted,
with motivational quips.
Decomposing soul.

Semi-private walls,
Holding like the strongest grip.
Case of the mondays.

(Geez, I gotta find somemthing to do)

Subtle Tilt: The Devil Inside

Last night was a losing night, -3 BB. Why is this worth taking up space on a page to mention? Subtle tilt didn’t get me, that’s why. The games last night weren’t quite as loose and sloppy as they were on Monday, but they were still decent. I started out on $2/4, but these were way too tight (pots averaging about 4 BB) so I dropped down to the looser $1/2, where they were running at least 7 10 BB/pot.

Right out of the gate, I get KK. I love great hands like this but am always worried when I get them on the first hand. After a preflop 3-bet with 5 people coming along for the ride, the flop comes AA2 and is 3 bet in front of me, so I feel I have to dump it. I suppose that this could be argued as weak playing given the size of the pot, but it turns out my read was good since the SB had A2 for the flopped full house. Ugh. Over the next 2 orbits I had quite a few really good starting hands, most coming with position. The problem was that either the flop didn’t cooperate (at all) or the river would save someone who had been calling against my top holding. I managed to get rivered five times within those first three orbits, and I could feel the subtle tilt coming on.

I opened up another table to play while I battled at the first one, and resolved to do one thing: Keep playing my good holdings aggressively, even though I’ve been getting crucified by suckouts thus far. This is much easier said than done for me, because when things go as they were last night, you can hear the pinging of the fish radar noticeably increase.

Fish Radar?

Yes, fish radar. I call it fish radar in general, but it applies to good players as well as fish. I can’t exactly blame them either, given the amount of hands I happened to be playing, and losing. The one or two decent players at the table kept coming at me, of course, because they immediately tagged due to the sheer amount of hands played in only a few orbits. 14 hands in three full orbits, I would have tagged me as a loose fish too, but goddamnit, I had an unusually high amount of playable starting hands! It worked out eventually, as the aforementioned decent players at the table finally realized I wasn’t the fish they originally thought once some of my later hands started to hold up. Hell, one of them even commented on the fact. I wish it would have taken them a bit longer to notice, however, because it took away from my comeback profit.

Next comes the second, and most often seen incarnation of the “Fish Radar”. Once I got rivered for the third or fourth time, any time I was in the hand so were the loose fish, no matter what. You could literally hear them thinking, “This time is my turn to suckout.” They all had tone and were looking to knock me out of the sky. Thankfully the cards turned, I was able to throw out some chaff, and eventually escaped the fishy missiles.

Here is why I’m proud of my loss: As I stated earlier, I’m normally very susceptible to the subtle tilt, slipping quickly into weak/tight mode when my good hands don’t hold up. By continuing to play my good holdings as they should be played, I made many more BB’s than I would have had I succumbed, and thereby limited and nearly eradicated my early losses. I won’t say this time that I’m over it or immune to it, but I can proudly report that it’s getting better, slowly but surely.

Note to the fishes: Pray for a quick death, cuz I’m steady coming for ya.

Obligatory Reminder:

Details: Wednesday, March 30th
$20 + $2 - No-Limit
Poker Stars - Private tournament tab
Password: thehammer

I can’t make it to the tourney tonight, but watch out anyway, Mrs. Head will be stepping in for me. Good Luck to everyone!

The death of the low-carb

The news was crying doomsday this morning because the low-carb fad has gone by the wayside. Were they actually expecting it to stick around? As a former bodybuilder, I’m all for the low-carb high protein diet combined with some good exercise, but the low-carb craze continues to piss me off.

A couple of weeks ago I made a trip to the store to pick up some stuff, and being in a hurry I simply grabbed some bagels on my way out. Yum, it’s been some time since I had a nice bagel. Get home, pop one in to toast, add some jam, take a bite. WTF?!! Who replaced my nice bagel with a sponge that tastes like notebook paper? I check the package and lo and behold, it’s a low-carb bagel, which sent me off on a tangent that scared the dogs and got severely on Mrs. Head’s nerves. Stupid goddamn low-carb crap. You can follow a good low-carb diet without all of the paper products manufactured to resemble food, and it’s a damn shame most don’t understand that.

Now it’s winding down, though, and big food is back, baby. Even if it is terrible for you, it is and always has been so very delicious. Word up to the Carl’s Jr. Double Thick Burger, a beef and pork heart attack extravaganza. Am I the only one who finds it simultaneously amusing and sad that as a society we can’t (or don’t want to) achieve any kind of balance? Four pound greaseburger or a paper bagel. What happened to all the normal stuff?

Just in case you’ve been off the planet or under a rock, here’s a WPBT tourney reminder:

Details: Wednesday, March 30th
$20 + $2 - No-Limit
Poker Stars - Private tournament tab
Password: thehammer

Also, while I’m giving out just in case nuggets, right now are some good times over at Stars. Compared to Party the cash games there have always been pretty slim pickings, but in the last 2-3 weeks they’ve gotten progressively looser and softer (the games, not Paris Hilton & friends, pay attention). I can only surmise that this is due to the simultaneous running of WPT and WSOP satellites and the like. A ton of loosey goosey people trying to luck their way into being another Moneymaker, who obviously enjoy spewing chips in between $2 Turbo Rebuy tourneys. It’s been like Party Poker extreme over the last few days. Just last night I witnessed an $83 pot on one of the $1/2 tables I was at. Eight months ago I would have cringed at such thing, now I jump up and down with glee like a short bus class that just inherited a million dollars….payable in candy and stickers.

Some people’s progression in this game is similar to that of the Tortoise.

Others are similar to the Hare.

Whichever one you are, if you’re decent and sit at one of these tables, you’ll get yours, no matter your speed.

Me Play Good Poker One Day

Oh Boy, Vegas just keeps getting closer. CJ is almost finished with the RSVP list, and it seems as though there will be no shortage of degenerates meeting up for some great fun. I am extremely pumped to meet everyone.

The bankroll continues slow (VERY slow) but steady progress, which is becoming frustrating. Last night, in the $2 Stars crapshoot, I clawed my way to 104^th out of 2325, only to make a stupid call and knock myself out. After much reflection last night, I think part of my frustration is the fact that I still haven’t mastered myself (no pun intended) enough to hang on in the late stages of a tourney. I work hard, stay patient, and concentrate, only to blow it in the late stages. Heh, I guess that’s why I’m still playing the $2 crapshoot.

On Friday I decided to take the opportunity to remind myself why I don’t play NL cash games. I completely suck at them. I think the reason for this is the fact that I’ve been focusing on Limit and am still in that mindset, so after donating $25 because of an overplayed JJ, that’s where I headed, back to the Limit tables. I think Limit stays more appealing to me simply because if I make a nasty error like overplaying my JJ it doesn’t cost me nearly as much. Granted, I can’t make quite as much, but I’m not necessarily playing to make a ton of money. Yes, I still want to make money, but at the level I play, I think that keeping the bankroll on a even keel with no real wild swings will allow me to keep the focus on learning, improving, and eventually stepping up.

Rounding out today’s confessional post, I must admit that I still haven’t fully accepted the fact that there is no justice in this game. I’ve posted several times in the past about how I’m coming to grips with this, but last night proved that I still haven’t really done so, and it makes me feel like a relapsed alcoholic. After busting out of the crapshoot I watched Mrs. Head in the process of working over some seriously tight passive’s at a $5 SnG, when the following occurred. Mrs. Head (big stack) gets AJs in the BB, button limps (2^nd big stack), SB completes. Mrs. Head raises to 5X BB (100/200 ante 25), button goes into the tank and calls, SB folds. Flop AJx, 2 diamonds. Mrs. Head pushes due to the diamonds on the board, and button calls off the rest of her money, and turns over 77, no diamond. Of course the turn spikes her 2-outer, leaving the Mrs. with about T800, which she lost about 3 hands later.

Cue the Human Head Hiroshima Tilt.

I think what really caused it was the choruses of ‘Great Call’ and ‘Great Play’ that followed the unlikely win. Even the girl who won thought it was a great play, not even for a second acknowledging how supremely lucky it was.

So, new rule. No more watching Mrs. Head play poker, at least until such time as I can develop an emotional IQ that is higher than that of a infant monkey. Perhaps a lobotomy would help. As we prepared for bed I decided to revisit SSHE since it’s been a few months, and it is something I need to do a bit more often with my poker literature. It made me feel much better to see that I have actually made some progress in my game. I found that I had really absorbed some of the lessons it contains, and as well highlighting some lessons that I had overlooked the first couple of times through.

With that in mind, I need to get a new book. I waffling between HEPFAP and The Theory of Poker. For those that have read these, what is your opinion? I want HEPFAP, but I think it would just confuse my game at it’s current level, so Theory of Poker is a better choice methinks. I love that word. Methinks. OK, just one more time. Methinks.

Talk to you all later.

It's Friday. It's Good.

I finally cashed in a SnG on FT last night, taking down a second, which should have been a first. After it was finished I started playing on a Limit table but logged off after about 15 minutes because I was tilting. Yes, that’s right, I tilted because of a second place finish. The specifics are unimportant, I’m just sick of completely dominated hands hitting their 1,2, and 3-outers all of the time. I realize my complaints don’t hold much water since I’m ahead on FT, but sometimes knowledge and feelings take a while to get aligned.

Now, Tales from the Seriously Deluded. On the news they had Terry Shiavo’s sister on saying that they are intentionally murdering a healthy 41 year old. Healthy? If you can’t live without a feeding tube, I don’t think the word healthy can be applied here. Oh yeah, since I don’t have an actual living will, I thought I would say something here. If I’m ever in a state like that, let me die. If you don’t let me die and drag the whole thing through an embarrassing and shameful public spectacle I swear I will come back to haunt and terrorize you for the rest of your life. I have a feeling I’d make one ugly apparition, plus I would be extra pissed off at being obligated to terrorize. I want to be lazy when I'm dead.

There was something else last night that bothered me a bit. While I played poker, we of course had The Apprentice on while waiting for The Office premier. In the boardroom, DT almost fired some guy because he chewed tobacco. OK, I acknowledge that chewing on a task/job is unprofessional, but that didn’t even figure in. DT was just ripping him because he chewed, not where. He said, “I don’t want someone working for me that chews tobacco.” Yes, chewing is a disgusting habit (IMO more disgusting than smoking, but I’m a smoker so I’m biased), but imagine the brouhaha that would have erupted had he said “I don’t want any people that eat too much and get fat working me, it’s disgusting.”

You like beets? That’s disgusting, I can’t have you working for me. You part your hair on THAT side? You use Aqua-Fresh and not Colgate?

I think now would be an appropriate time to break out the South Park episode with The Museum of Tolerance. C’mon now, Donald. You can do better than that.

Everyone remember to break out the Paas and the Peeps and have a Good Friday. Fuck that, have a Great Friday.

Easter?

Last night’s episode of the WPT had some good entertainment on tap in the form of Tony G. I love that guy. Scratch that, I love watching that guy. If I had to play with him I fear I might be overwhelmed by the urge to stab him in the throat. The WPT is so much better this year, except for one thing: The freaking voice-over commercials. I realize that this gripe is nothing new to anyone, but damn, they really suck. Those little 30 second craptastic productions really take away from the shows.

While watching, every time they showed Isabelle Mercier I had the strange urge to phone Mean Gene to make sure he was watching. I don’t know Gene, have never spoken with him, and certainly don’t have his telephone number, so why I kept thinking that is truly beyond me. I gotta get away from the computer.

Being bogged down with work and school junk, I played no poker last night, but I did get to sweat Mrs. Head as she broke her four SnG losing streak and garnered a second place. Longest $5 SnG EVER. Everyone except the top 3 were out before the blinds reached 50/100. From there they battled for nearly another hour and a half, absolutely unreal. No one could bust the others. Also, just when you start to think you have seen just about everything during the long hours at the virtual tables, POW!, something else comes along. I witnessed a one of the other players in that tourney get AA eight times. Eight Times! In 90 minutes! I need better math skills (to compliment my bo staff, nunchuck, and other assorted ninja skills); I would like to know what the odds are on that happening because it certainly seems that they would be very long.

Per usual, Easter is near and I had no idea. Thank goodness I have at least a few days notice so I can make sure I don’t get out on the roads on Sunday with all of those who view strict adherence to the speed limit as being directly proportional to the strength of one’s moral fiber. Tomorrow being Good Friday, I think I’m going to cook some lamb, perhaps with some risotto. Paired with a nice bottle of wine it should serve to turn Good Friday into Great Friday.

Also, if I’m able to snatch some extra time I may try to pen an ode to the Cadbury Egg, the king of Easter delicacies.

Dot, dot, dot

I just checked the rankings board for the WPBT, 137^th. Jeeebus, I’m some kinda monkey. I gotta do better on the next one, but I can’t. Why? It just dawned on me this morning that I have school stuff going on the entire evening of the 30^th. Stupid goddamn edyookashun. Mrs. Head will probably be representing in my stead and will most likely put my past performances to shame.

Full Tilt is slowly but surely causing some, well, Full Tilt. I couldn’t win an SnG there if you stuck a gun to my head. At this point, it’s becoming more my fault than the cards, because I found myself on my last try last night expecting to get bad beat with impossible cards, not good. I need to get these thoughts readjusted, and learn to adjust because things aren’t going to get any better the way I’m thinking now. (Gee, how’s that for the most obvious statement of the week?) I also got to play a bit with Shelly at the .50/1 tables, which was a good time. She was spanking fishies like an anger management attendee in a room full of behaviorally impaired kids. Quite a pleasure to watch as I hung around with my stack about even, watching all flops come completely opposite to any good cards that I picked up. I couldn’t stay long, though, as the aforementioned SnG had me on tilt enough to know it would be a good idea to log off for the night. Oy vey.

More hard-hitting stuff on the news today….Teens are abusing cold medicine, it’s called Skittling, because they look like Skittles, how novel. They had one girl on that kicked her ‘addiction’ and is busy raising awareness after taking 94 of the tablets, what a good little citizen. How come no one can seem to grasp the fact that 94 of pretty much anything isn’t very good?

94 pieces of bacon? Delicious, but not good.

Punching someone 94 times? Fun, but you’ll probably hurt yourself as bad as you hurt them in the end.

Working 94 days straight? Challenging, but bad for anyone.

Is being a teen something that people just forget about as they get older? I hate teens, but I still remember that I was one. I also remember that abusing things is what they do. ‘Tussin, eating/smoking morning glory seeds, etc., I would try nearly anything when I was a teen to see what would bring a buzz. Hell, one time I rolled up a french fry in a napkin and tried to smoke it just to see if I could. If you would have dared me, I would have tried to drink a 40 oz. of Olive Oil just to say I did. Point is, most teens will be abusing and/or experimenting with something. I wonder why folks continue to think new laws are going to solve this?

Ah well, time to turn off the TV and try to reclaim some of the sanity I originally had when I woke up.

Oooooh, Back to Work, Back to Work.

(please sing the above title to yourself like Adam Sandler in the Back to School song. If you don't know the song, watch Billy Madison, and shame on you for not having seen it earlier)

I know that I have a ton of stuff that I need to blather about, but I seem to be in the midst of a bit of post-trip overwhelmia (yeah, I made that word up), where you return from being away only to find out that, yes, life did continue unabated while you were away and now you have to play catch up.

Sunday I received a very nice surprise: Felicia left me a comment! I didn’t think she ever read my drivel, and even if that visit was the only one, it was much appreciated. My admiration of Felicia’s strong will and poker prowess continues to grow and my prayers are with her in light of the recent news. I certainly hope that when June rolls around the situation is well enough that I can meet her at the WPBT event.

Played me some poker all of Sunday afternoon, blah, blah, blah. I ended up a bit, but nothing real special so I won’t bore you with the mundane details. Instead, I’d much rather bore you by telling you what I cooked last night. Salmon steaks with a pineapple habanero relish, a nice field green salad with a honey balsamic dressing, and some fresh asparagus. Beautiful and effing delicious.

Since I bemoaned the trials and tribulations of business travel, I thought it was worth mentioning something that is good about it. I realized when I walked into work today that business travel has one pretty big good point, and that is the fact that while you may be working, you’re not actually AT work. Top it off with some craptastic Kansas weather and I’m ready to head back to AZ already.

I was going to write something completely witty here, but I just lost it. (Yea, I know, have another toke, Head). Thinking Big will have to wait until tomorrow, I guess.

Not so Wild Horse

Thank God, finally home. End of the week travel tip: NEVER fly on America West. Their incompetence is absolutely unparalleled.

When I awoke this morning, it dawned on me why I really hate traveling for business, and it’s not any of the obvious things. Sure, I hate being away from Mrs. Head and the kids (dogs), but I can deal with that. It is an altogether more insidious and little noticed thing that makes traveling so bad……the toilet paper.

Given the average quality of the TP I encountered this week, I may as well have taken sheets of paper from the printer and wiped my ass with that. The company is paying $160/night for my room and the place doesn’t even have the decency to provide paper that is softer than asphalt. End of the week travel tip #2: Bring your own TP. Your ass will thank you.

I think I need to switch careers and become a bidet lobbyist.

Not much else was notable about the trip, other than the fact that on Wednesday I took a trip to the Wild Horse Resort and Casino for some live poker action. However, action was not in the cards, so to speak. In any of the places where I’ve played live poker, the lowest stakes you can get is 3/6. So, upon finding out that the WH spread a 2/4 game, I was pumped up to go let loose on a table that was sure to be full of chip slingers.

If I would have brought a video camera with me, I would be speaking to you today a more famous individual. Why? Because I would have been able to record something akin to capturing the Loch Ness Monster singing show tunes. I would have recorded something I have never heard of before, a TIGHT 2/4 game. Squeaky tight. So tight it made nuns seem positively slutty by comparison. Unreal. I actually took down blinds with a preflop raise. Twice.

I only had two hours to play, so putting in for a new seat would have left me with only half an hour or so, so I decided to stick it out. With the Jackpot drop there was $4 coming out of any pot with callers, so there were several pots that had only four or five bucks. On one of my preflop raises that took the blinds I showed the hammer trying to loosen these people up, and nothing happened.

There was a nice calling station to my right who put a pretty nasty beat on me, when his A5o took down my KK with runner runner 5’s. I actually laughed out loud when he turned up his cards, having called with no straight or flush draws and bottom pair on the turn with me betting the whole way. At least he didn’t raise me on the river. Having bought in with $40, his calling station ways sent him packing very shortly.

Enter the middle-aged asian guy who it seems just recently discovered the check-raise. If he was in a hand and anyone bet out before he did, you could expect a flop raise. But he wouldn’t lead out, he would only raise if someone else bet, it was kind of strange. It was also very obvious that he never had anything. If he led out, he had something, so all you had to do was get out and wait for the next one. If he raised, the way was clear to re-raise with impunity, which he would promptly chase and then fold on the river, good stuff. Unfortunately he got chewed up and spit out pretty quick as well. That was about it, though. We had a couple more bad players stop by and quickly lose their money, but mostly it was tight and pretty boring. Considering the rake and jackpot drop, I was happy to leave only $14 down. The only reason I left down that much was the splash pot hand.

At random times throughout the night, they would pick a table and dump a rack of white into the pot. Needless to say, at our 2/4 table the odds to chase were good, so I chased through the turn, else I would have ended my session dead even. Not a bad place, but not really a good one either. Maybe it was simply because it was a Wednesday, I’m not sure. Another strange thing was the fact that the highest game they were spreading was one table of 8/16. Again, most likely simply due to the fact it was a late Wednesday.

I'll be spending today and tomorrow getting reacquainted with my normal routine and hopefully getting some time at the tables and catching up on all of the blog reading.. I should return to the regular Thinking Big schedule on Monday. Until then, my head will simply be Much Bigger.

Eezy Breezy

**cue Home Simpson voice** Mmmmm…Phoeniiiiiixx……Auuuggggghhhhhhh.

There is without a doubt no better time to be in a desert climate, let me tell ‘ya. When I get back there is going to be some hard lobbying to move here ASAP. I’ll trade four months of extreme hot for some nice winter months any day of the week.

I figured that immediately upon my arrival I would be itching to get onto the computer and do a post about how pissed I was at airlines, since that is usually the effect they have on me. In an unexpected turn of events, I arrived in a great mood despite flying here on a plane not much larger than an oyster tin. The TSA didn’t even piss me off, which if you know me at all, is an extremely RARE event. I think it was the nice old lady I was seated next to on the plane. I actually got the chance to be a good boy and help her with her bags and getting on and off the plane.

Yes, I can hear you asking. “Wouldn’t you do that anyway?”

NO. Wanna know why?

Most old ladies these days are friggin’ nasty old bitches. Well, most of the ones in my area, anyway. I always thought that most old ladies were nice, but it seems in the last couple of years they are harder and harder to come by. It makes me sad, really. I mean what better feeling than helping out an old lady who’s actually nice? It’s helps out the karma and satisfies the inner Boy Scout. The last time, I held the door open for a lady (at considerable inconvenience, I might add) and she didn’t even say anything, she just looked at me like I it was my job and walked brusquely by with nary a word.

This prompted a quick, “Well fuck you too.”

“You’re awful.”

“Well, next time I’ll try to be a little less awful and not hold the door. Have a nice trip you nasty old bitch.”

Maybe not the right thing to say, but it damn sure made me feel better. This trip restored my faith. Thank You nice old lady from L.A.

-------------------

I tried to be pissed at my hotel, but I just can’t be, the weather is too damn nice right now. I was completely pumped that The Shield was starting tonight, but my hotel doesn’t have the FX channel. In fact they hardly have ANY channel that’s worth watching. I figured that it wasn’t so bad since I had the WPT to keep me company on Wednesday, but guess what? That’s right, no Travel Channel either. Meh.

Given the lack of cable channels and the fact that I am immersed in all that is nerdy this entire week, please don’t be surprised at any unusually high levels of boring shit in any of my posts this week. (Say, this one, for example)

Speaking of all that is nerdy, I thought of something I’d like to have on a t-shirt. This probably won’t make sense to quite a few, so if it doesn’t just bear with me, it’ll be over soon.

T-Shirt Witticism: I’m rejecting your packets.

Yeah I know, it’s probably already been put on a shirt already and /or is not as amusing or witty as I think, but as you can plainly see, that’s not stopping me.

----------------------------

I think I’m going to try and hit up a poker room tomorrow and actually try to profit from this trip a bit, which would be nice. Anyone have any suggestions for a good place to play in Phoenix/Tempe? A cardroom report would certainly be fun and would also help with the “I miss my wife and dogs” doldrums. What a sap I am. What a word, doldrums. Sounds like something a nice old lady or a Boy Scout would say.

HORSE Report (gonna be short)

As expected, my ass was handed to me. High Plains Drifter stopped by to wish me good luck at the start, much appreciated!

Great fun, along with the pleasure of playing with Todd Commish, UwannaBet, STB, and Mike at Poker Words, made the five bucks definitely worth it.

I did actually make it through one full HORSE, however, so that’s better than I thought. While shorted stacked on the final hand of Stud 8, I had AA 10 10 (first 4 cards)and ended up getting rivered by the low straight (I can’t remember who nailed me, but nice hand, whoever you are).

It’s just as well, I need to get packed. I have to spend all of this week in Phoenix for some training, so posts may be a bit sporadic. Anyone know of any cardrooms in the area? If I have any time (which I probably won’t) I’d sure like to get some cards in. After getting beat up at the tables (for small amounts, but beat up nonetheless) on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, I finally had a smallishly profitable day today, and am kind of antsy for a bit of live play before Vegas in June.

Talk to you all tomorrow, when chances of an airplane rant will be high.

P.S.--Holy Crap, I almost forgot. I dropped my first successful hammer in the first round! After many previous failed attempts, I can now hold my head high :)

News Can Be Entertaining

For those completely tired of hearing about Michael Jackson, I’ll go ahead and offer an advance apology right now before speaking. Hearing about the goings on of the sordid business is actually a welcome relief in my part of the country, as I have suffered through the last year having to hear some bit of inane shit about the serial killer, BTK, EVERY FUCKING DAY, and I don’t even watch the local news. Despite this they manage to sneak that crap in on the wondrous vehicle that is the local news commercial. You know it, the one that says, “You’re likely to be shot within the next fifteen minutes, details at the top of the hour.”

Personally, I find all of the trial stunts amusing. I won’t hypothesize about who I think is guilty or who is not, because truthfully I have no idea. One the one hand, Jacko is richer than God and crazier than a shithouse rat, but on the other, one has to wonder if this is not another of the myriad attempts to get a piece of him. Enough about that, though. Here are some of the things I found amusing as I watched the daily train wreck:

---The Pajama-clad Jacko. I can only imagine the dialogue of the MJ’s security or medical personnel….

“Mike, are you all right? You look a bit pale. Oh wait a minute….oops….(d’oh!)”

---In doing a summary of his troubles up to this point, the news made mention of a court appearance where he showed up on crutches. Why? A spider bit him on the foot. Good Lord, that must have been one hell of a spider. I can’t help but wonder why, with all of the money that Jacko spends on everything else, more money wasn’t invested in extermination services.

---One of the myriad of lawyerly experts on the show accidentally said ‘McJackson’. This made me wonder, “If McDonalds came out with a Michael Jackson sandwich, what would it be like?” Most likely thinner than the average sandwich, with random chunks hacked out of various locations, and of course white meat. The sandwich would taste good early in it’s career, but would look and taste worse as the years went by.

-----------------

Last night I received an email from a guy, Ian, asking for a mention since I previously talked about how much I like The Contender. He’s trying to use the show’s popularity to do something worthwhile in South Africa, so if you get a chance go take a look here or here if you have the time.

-----------------

For many of the folks out there, poker after a hard day at work helps them relax. Not this guy **points at self**, and I should have known that. I came home tilted after a particularly annoying day. Held up by trains on my way to work, held up by others who seemed intent on fully expressing an appalling lack of basic technical proficiency, held up by wrecks on the way home. If you cross the threshold of your domicile cursing the world, think doubly hard before sitting at the tables.

The who, what, why is unnecessary, suffice to say I dropped close to $35 last night steaming. Certainly not a huge loss or anything, I only feel the need to mention it because I’m disappointed in myself for sitting when I knew I wasn’t in correct mindset for optimal play. Don’t be like me.

Some of the money I lost was on the $1/2 Limit game. Playing $1/2 drives me nuts (whether I'm steaming or not), and I can’t really figure out why. These days. I easily have the bankroll for this game, but still find myself at the .50/1 tables for the most part. I play $2/4 every so often and do just fine, and even when I lose a bit there I don’t feel too bad about it. The $1/2 game sets me on tilt REALLY quick for some reason, sometimes even when I have a winning session. I don’t get it, but it really does seem to be my personal Limit torture chamber for those times when I’m feeling masochistic. Has anyone just skipped the $1/2 game altogether on their way up? I think that Poker Chiq did, but I’m curious to hear anybody’s thoughts on this level.

I still have a ton of stuff to ramble about, but this is getting pretty lengthy so I’ll shut the hell up and will continue tomorrow in my efforts to Think Big, while my head, as always, remains Much Bigger.

KOTSI--Another Theory

While watching the WPT Legends of Poker at The Bike last night, for some odd reason I thought of a guy I used to be in the Air Force with. His name was Lee, and to say that he was a ‘strange guy’ would be a gross understatement.

Lee had a strange cycle. For a month or two, you could observe him day to day smoking cigarettes. Following this, the smokes would disappear and for the next couple of months you would see him with a spit cup. It seemed odd, but hell, there are plenty of people out there who do both. Then suddenly, the chewing tobacco would disappear as well, and for the next couple of months it seemed that Lee was partaking in a bit of clean living by doing neither. Sure enough, after a couple of months, smoke could be seen billowing out of his head, starting the cycle once again. So finally, I asked the question…

“What the hell, Lee? What’s with the effed up tobacco regimen?”

“I have to fool the cancer,” came the reply.

Yes friends, he was deadly serious. After getting some clarification, Lee’s Theory was clear. Not very sound, but clear nonetheless. He was convinced that by following this cycle he could literally ‘fool the cancer’. He was of the mind that if he smoked for 60 days or less, then any cancer cells wouldn’t have the chance to gain a foothold in his lungs. Same for cancer cells in his cheek. The 60 days of abstinence from either product was an extra precautionary measure he thought up in order to fully detoxify and get rid of any determined bits of cancer that may be trying to hang around.

We promptly named him the biggest idiot in the section because of this perceived ability to outrun the cancer. However, for some reason once every few years or so, I find myself wondering “What if Lee was right and knew something we didn’t?”

Last nights recollections aided in the birth of a similar theory, brought to you by the King of the Superstitious Idiots (KOTSI).

While partaking in the pleasure that is poker, one might see variance as it’s cancerous byproduct. You may have a few good sessions, but eventually it will catch up with you. What can a person do? We have to ‘fool the variance’. After a few good sessions, head over to a different game, or a different site altogether, and play there for a while. Due to your good fortune, variance will be sniffing around your usual haunts, eventually it will give up after not being able to find you. Variance hitting you pretty hard at Party? Move over to Stars or Full Tilt for a bit until variance loses the scent. Stick and move, stick and move. Variance may nip at you here and there, but you’ll keep it from sinking it’s teeth into you fully.

DISCLAIMER: Hopefully you didn’t take this seriously, it was not intended to be taken that way. It’s interesting to think about though, no?

If you missed the WPT episode last night, it’s definitely worth trying to catch on the likely rerun this weekend. Doyle, being outchipped almost 4 to 1, played some beautiful and near-perfect NL to capture the win. Awesome stuff.

That’s it for today from King of the Superstitious Idiots. The Head should be back tomorrow with your regularly scheduled programming.

I tried not to...

....but I couldn't help myself.



Thanks April for the fun link!
Geez, I've jumped on way too many bandwagons this week :)

Joining the shill ranks

I have joined the ranks of the affiliate whores, I couldn’t help myself. I have been thinking about doing this for months, but finally decided to take the plunge and start with Full Tilt. I actually emailed them the day before yesterday, but completely forgot to check my mail until I saw that Al had also joined in on the affiliate fun.

So last night I finally jumped in the pool, and I’m happy to report that the water is fine. The avatars are pretty cool, but given the fact you can’t build your own unique one, I went ahead and turned them off since they are mostly a distraction. I started things off with a $5 SnG, and I can’t really say too many good things about those. The blind levels increase too damn fast. I’m sure there is money to be made at them, but the speed of the levels will definitely require some adjustment. I believe that I’ll keep playing Stars for my SnG’s.

The ring games, however, treated me very well. Despite the fact there were only 4500-ish people playing, the games that I did find were pretty soft. I made about $55 playing one table of $25NL and one table of $.50/1 Limit. Oddly enough, most of those profits came from the Limit table, but I rarely play NL and am admittedly pretty weak-tight when it comes to the cash game.

Other than a few nitpicky cosmetic criticisms, the only thing I don’t like is the bonus situation, it really is like pulling teeth. After playing a little over two hours, I have worked off $2 worth of bonus money…oof. I am of the mind that if Full Tilt would loosen up their bonus requirements, even just a bit (i.e. instead of .06 bonus money for each point, make it .10), would help get a lot more people to the site. Could you hook that up Hank? You’re not busy or anything are you? :)

OK, so for the last time this year month week—Full Tilt—Just click on the link, download, and sign up! Starting on March 15, Bonus Code HHEAD will be working, so you won’t even have to use the banner. Help me out folks, all that cocoa butter that I have to use on my head doesn’t pay for itself, ya know.

Don’t forget, the next WPBT Event on Sunday the 13^th. As far as my entry goes, all that can really be said is “Holy dead money, Batman!”

This last Saturday I was able to take a trip to the bookstore. Yes, this seemingly humdrum event IS worth mentioning, because I don’t go very often. Why? Simply put, I can’t control myself inside of a bookstore, I want to buy everything, regardless of it’s necessity—I’m half convinced they pipe in some as-yet-unheard-of gas that makes me crazy for their wonderful books.

So after buying a sex diaries book for my friend Laura’s B-Day, I spy a table with the dastardly sign, “Buy 2 Get the 3^rd Free.” Oh Boy. The title escapes me at the moment, but Mrs, Head got some Oprah book, and I also acquired Atlas Shrugged and Positively Fifth Street.

PFS started out what I thought was a bit slow, but quickly picked up speed. Next thing I knew, it was Monday and the book was finished. Reading it was a great pleasure, but I wish I could exercise a bit more restraint. When it comes to books, I’m like a fat kid with a box of Twinkies; I devour the book as quickly as I can, afterwards wishing I hadn’t eaten so fast. Damn those bookstores though, since upon the return home (and of my senses) I found that I could have saved quite a bit of money if I had simply picked up used copies off of Amazon. D’oh.

So, in my roundabout and long-winded way, I’m saying to read Positively Fifth Street if you haven’t yet. I promise it won’t disappoint.

OK, one last thing and I’ll shut up. If you don’t already, head over and read The Obituarium, pretty good stuff there, especially the drunk tourney documentation.

Remember, I’m Thinking Big, but my head is Much Bigger.

TV is Back!

Anyone who read here knows how much I like to piss and moan about NBC and television in general. After last night though, I think television just may be on a comeback.

The Contender is effing great. Mrs. Head was teary-eyed, and future episodes may have the capacity to throw some dust in my eye as well. It’s got Sugar Ray and Rocky, good production, product placement that for once isn’t cheesy. After being bored to death with The Apprentice, and downright angry at the complete shill the was The Restaurant (can someone call OPEN from American Express and see if they'll extend our credit line?), I find myself finally acquiescing to Mark Burnett’s reality-show overlordliness. Yeah I know, it’s show business and not real, but damn if it’s not some good TV, and hopefully it will help boxing regain some of it’s former wonder.

WPT season 3 is on, The Shield will be starting soon. My goodness it’s a heady time for a couch potato.

I had a nice session at Party last night, up 36 BB’s in a little over an hour. I missed out on about 6 BB’s due to the fact that I’m giving these people WAY too much credit, but I’m not complaining as there are definitely worse problems to have. Iggy reminds us every post he makes, but good bejeebus, the people that play there are SOOOOOO freaking bad. They make the low limits tables at Stars seem like they are full of tricky sharks. Yeah, that bad.

This post isn’t very thoughtful, or thought-provoking for that matter, but what the hell, I’m short on time today. I’ll try to Think Big tomorrow.

Sticking Points

I always find it kind of surreal when I have those moments that show me how much I’ve learned and make me realize, once again, just how far I still have to go.

As I edge ever closer to 30 years on this planet, I find myself thinking a lot lately about how much I thought I knew 15 years ago. 5 years ago. Hell, even 5 months ago. Even looking back at a couple of days ago, I find myself able to marvel at the fact that I thought I knew so very much about a certain thing, only to find out that I had again only scratched it’s surface.

It’s an unconscious thing really, and I will most likely walk through this day comfortable in my knowledge and experience, only to realize tomorrow that I shouldn’t have been.

I’m nearing the point where I’ve been playing poker for 18 months. Last night Mrs. Head and I entered the $3 Sunday Stars Crapshoot, and out of almost 2200 entrants she managed to last till 1100 and I exited around 650-ish. I continued by farting around on a .50/1 table while she fired up a $5 SnG and proceeded to bubble when her A8s dropped to JJ, which consequently added insult to injury by rivering the case Jack after flopping a set. I fired up a $10+1 SnG on Party to remind myself why I don’t play them. 800 chips, yeah right. I’m going to have to get my free money roll pumped up some more before I hit those bitches again, and maybe not even then. Their crapshoot format has a grand ability to set me on giant subtle tilt, the worst kind.

Why the preceding paragraph? Well, obviously to set myself up for this one. The both of us sitting there, scowling at our laptops, made me smile. I fought off my tilt by just shutting it all down instead of steaming at a 2/4 table and instantly felt better. However, it dawned on me that Mrs. Head is at the exact place I was about 6 or 7 months into playing the game.

“Poker is making me sad and grumpy”

After her initial tear on the SnG’s, things have of course slowed down, and it sucks that all I can do is just try and explain why and help encourage her through the rough patch. She is where I imagine most of us have been after beginning to play poker regularly, the place where you’ve done some winning by patiently waiting for good cards and winning big with them and suddenly this method isn’t working as well as it once did. Sonuvabitch!! WTF?! and other colorful epithets have free reign during this period.

I point out to her the things that are obvious to me now. The need to pay close attention to betting patterns and spotting weakness in a passive game and taking advantage of it, even if you don’t have the greatest cards in your hand. Working on bubble aggression, picking the right spots and not fucking up. Realizing that a min-bet after the flop, even it is 20% of your existing stack doesn’t necessarily mean that the bettor has anything, it’s a min-bet, after all. Truly realizing that sitting and waiting for the cards is not always the best answer. Hell, this is still a problem for me many times, but I can see it much clearer these days and a majority of my play has improved greatly. I just feel bad for her that it’s a sticking point that no one can push you through, you have to get through it yourself. I don’t have any kids, but I imagine the feeling is similar, watching them struggle with something you know you can’t really help them with. All you can do is offer encouragement, you can’t do it for them.

Today Pauly said it, and others in the past have said it many times. You just have to suck it up, play through, and use every loss as an opportunity to find a lesson or a leak. Granted, sometimes you just get bad beat to no end and there is only the soul-crush, but 99% of the time there is a lesson somewhere in there.

I can’t wait until tomorrow. It means I get a chance to find out many things I thought I knew today. Thinking Big today, hopefully Much Bigger tomorrow.

Greg Raymer's Great Contribution

While playing in a $5 SnG on Stars today, along came the following situation: With an extremely passive and limp notorious table, I find KQs in late position, two limpers, so I pop it to T200 with blinds at 25/50. I get two callers which is surprising, so I make a note to play carefully if the flop doesn’t hit me. Flop comes xh xh Kd, first to act checks, second to act bets T100 into the T600 pot, so I up it to T400 to test this guy out. First to act folds, second calls. Turn comes blank club. Guy checks, and having him on a flush draw, I put him all in with one card to come. After thinking for about half his time bank, he calls with K5 of hearts, looking for the flush that never came. Not the worst play ever (though, not good), and certainly a pretty big gamble, especially when your tourney life is at stake. The thing that struck me was the comment that came shortly thereafter from the observer chat:

Random Guy: Oh well it worked for Raymer.

It is times like this that I am ever so thankful for ESPN airing that hand between Raymer and Matusow, remember it? Raymer with AJh putting Matusow’s mediocre holding to the test for all his chips. If I ever have the good fortune to meet Greg Raymer in the future, I will certainly shake his hand for making that play, since upon reflection today, I am realizing just how much cash the misinterpretation of that hand has put into my pocket.

In relation to the Golden Riviera mini-whore post from a few days ago, I have decided that even with an $80/month bonus opportunity, I will no longer play there. I thought that my recent cashout would automatically be returned to my FirePay account, the same way it came in. It seems however, that this method would be way too easy. Instead I receive the email that lets me know that I will be receiving a check in the next 20 or so days. What a GIANT pain in my ass. I have resolved from here on out to only chase bonuses that are convenient.

While I’m on the subject, I have to wonder at the fact that I rarely chase bonuses of any kind. Of the few times that I have chased them, some have turned out very well, but a large prtion have ended up in either a monumental disaster or a low-profit waste of my time. I think it’s a combination of the potential bonus money having an adverse psychological effect on me, plus a little bit of ego. Psychological in the fact that I make a few loose calls here and there that I wouldn’t normally make because I have bonus money waiting in the wings, and ego in the fact that I take a greater measure of pride and satisfaction knowing that 95% of my bankroll was built by solid and consistent play and not bonus dollars. While I believe this admission qualifies me a being a certifiable moron, the only thing I can say in my defense is that I am aware of it and given the mostly adverse effects that bonuses seem to have on me by and large, I’ll be sticking to what has worked for the time being. (NOTE: To anyone who may have taken the preceding the wrong way, I don't in any way look down at those who build their bankroll with the bonus bucks, I just wanted to relate the way it is in my own case.)

Being King of the Superstitious Idiots is hard work, believe me.

I leave you with this little light bulb moment, which came at a friends B-day party last night after my third Guinness. We were discussing a mutual acquaintance who is basically a mess where the love life is concerned. You know the type, wanting to be married so bad it consumes their every waking moment, so much so, that they lose their identity completely running around in all of the smoke and mirrors?

Here is my sage piece of Guinness-induced advice for those with love troubles: Love is a lot like constipation. If you spend all of your time running to and fro to the porcelain throne every five minutes trying to instigate a fecal event, you will only end up worn out, frustrated, and more importantly still constipated. Stop worrying about it so much, you’ll poop when you’re ready. So it is with love.

As always, Thinking Big, while my head is Much Bigger.