Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Assist me in speculating

Tomorrow will be the last day of another training stint for work. Devices are upgrading and changing, so we gotta learn the new ones they're bringing in. Always boring but better than actually working.

And there's this guy in the class...

Good guy, nice guy, normal guy, smart guy, whatever people say when they don't lean one way or the other. But I did notice today, that when he's looking at the screen on his laptop he begins rocking, back and forth, like he's suddenly caught in the grip of a strange autistic impulse.

Seriously, it's the damnedest thing I've ever seen.

If someone talks to him and he looks one way or the other, the rocking stops immediately. As soon as his head swivels "eyes front" the rocking begins again, immediately. It is fascinating to watch, like a human metronome.

I'm rocking back and forth just thinking about it.

Has anyone else in the IT environment ever seen anything like this? If so, what is it? If not, whaddya think this is?

I'm completely distracted by it, mostly just because I can't ask him why the hell a laptop screen makes him rock. (I don't really know him other than his name is familiar within the context of my massive email load, which is 150 or so/day on weekdays--rigoddamndiculous.)

What if he's some kind retarded disabled handi-capable savant? What the hell would I say then? Do I fire off a range of quickly mumbled condolences in an effort to cover the spectrum of apology with the floundering hope of hitting on the correct apologetic sentiment, averting disaster and hopefully managing not to get sued and/or fired? Or, are congratulations the proper reaction these days? Congratulations! You'll never be fired (like I'm sure to be now) for implying that someone might be a retard, no matter what you say!

What if he has no idea he does it? That will only a) make him feel bad, b) piss him off (perhaps getting me punched), c) make him worried that he might be retarded, or d) all of the above. Somehow I don't think he'd be receptive to any proffered explanation that I'm only genuinely curious.

All I'm sayin' is that rocking compulsively back and forth in front of a glowing screen is fucking weird. Is this compulsion pre-existing or is it developing? So many questions...and yes, I'm aware that it's really not my business. I don't care, I still want to know.

Since I likely can't know, I am stuck with speculation. Help me out.

(perhaps I should consult The Bracelet, as he is a veteran retardation assessor)

FBI Stops Real World Gambling (Updated with sentiment correction and apology)

Hey everyone, you're gonna love this.

It seems that the FBI has so successfully and thoroughly prosecuted US Anti-Gambling Laws, the only thing left to do is head to the Second Life virtual world to do some cracking down.

This had to have been Bill-O's idea. No one else is this retarded.

How does the phrase, "Orwellian fruitcake land" ring in your ears now?

I wonder what is next? Owners of gambling blogs will now be forced to register with the soft-Gestapo Homeland Security, as gambling is considered to be suspicious activity which might provide leads in helping to fight the GWOT, as opposed to the GWOVT (virtual terror) that is just getting underway.

Pass it on.

UPDATE: Oh hell, I knew this was bound to happen sooner or later. Too much speed reading on my part and I overlooked an important part of an article. Apologies to all, and thanks to Al for pointing out what I should have seen from the start.

From the article--

"SecondLife has said that it is aware of the FBI visit, and that it has sought guidance on virtual gaming activity in Second Life but had not yet received clear rules from US authorities."

Second Life called them in as Sir Al has pointed out. Now I'm annoyed at Second Life, even though I understand the reasoning behind them doing this. But that's not even really it. I'm really just annoyed that this is even an issue.

I hate fucking up. Again, apologies to everyone for my hastiness, and you probably do not want to pass it on in this case, unless of course you would like to take the opportunity to laugh at me. You certainly wouldn't be unjustified for doing so in this case.

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And now, the crucifixion.

(Will return to the idiocy here soon--too many irons in the fire at the moment. Hope all is well with everyone reading this.)