Friday, May 13, 2005

D'oh! Sunuva...

Fun stuff to talk about, here we go…

Per BG and Al’s email extravaganza yesterday:

Most Likely To See The Grand Canyon - When you book your wife as your traveling companion to Vegas there Head, you should know damn well you're either going to be seeing the Hoover Dam on Friday with G- and Mrs. Rob, or holding shopping bags while your wife claps with giddy glee when AnimatronicZeus makes a proclimation welcoming you to your personal hell at the entrance to the Forum Shops. Good luck with that, maybe we'll get to see you when we go to Vegas in December.

While not quite right on the head of the proverbial nail, it was definitely a glancing blow and not a complete miss by any means. But I must take this small opportunity to defend the degenerate honor of the lady. Let’s see, first off. not booking Mrs. Head as a traveling companion will 99.5% of the time not be an option, and honestly, I really wouldn’t have it any other way. Why? The idea of taking a trip to Hoover Dam or the Grand Canyon makes her throw up in her mouth a little bit, that’s just my kind of lady. Besides, seeing those landmarks is what Discovery HD theater is for.

However, the nail was partially struck on one part of the above statement….shopping. Thankfully, the Mrs. fully realizes the intent and purpose of this trip and is only holding me to a trip through Sephora, which will be completed shortly after arrival so as not to interfere with the attendant festivities and force me into any heavy pimphandedness. She would like me to relate that she is quite looking forward to meeting everyone, including those she counts among her favorites, BG and Al. At this very moment all 102 lbs. of her is preparing to rip it up, blogger stylie yo.

And now, on to the secret shames…

Why I feel compelled to reciprocate secret shames is beyond me, but here I am, nonetheless. You would think that typing it out would be an easier thing than speaking it, but it’s really not. My hands are shaking a bit as I prepare, like some kind of lemming, to jump off the proverbial ledge…

Yesterdaywhile on the way to work there was a new BackStreet Boys song on the radio…..(deep breath)….and I didn’t immediately change the station. In fact, (oh god, it’s like an unpreventable train wreck) I found myself singing along with it. Unintentionally, of course.

For what it’s worth, upon my realization of doing this, I tried to throw myself from my vehicle while travelling 80 mph. Thanks to seat belt laws and the fact that there was no stewardess (or similar) available to show me how to work the buckle, this didn’t happen.

Sure, there are more shames lurking around in my life, but this one was particularly odious and difficult to lay bare, so I’ll continue later. Plus, since I have a few free hours I must ponder a suitable Vegas tournament bounty (excuses, excuses).

Have a great weekend, only a few more to go!

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Scotch Questions

So, let me start out with a confession. Given the comments from scotch drinking notables like Chris, Mourn, and Gracie, I am obviously using entirely too much water. What can I say, I’m a rank amateur, with approximately a 1/3 water to 2/3 scotch mix. Here’s what I wonder: When taken neat there is the attendant bite and or slight burn on the palette, which is good sometimes (especially during cold weather conditions), but when toned down with water (hence no burn) does it really dilute the flavor that much that it makes a difference? On a scale of 1 to 10, how egregious is my scotch drinking crime? If I insist on using water and not drinking it neat, should I scale down a level from Glenlivet and others on or above its level until I gain a finer appreciation? I know it took me a while to really appreciate the finer vodkas and cognacs, so I expect that this won’t be any different.

Discussing liquor is fun. (Especially if there’s no poker to discuss)

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Scotchy scotch scotch

I gotta get more on top of things, Wil beat me to the punch (as though anyone would have noticed if I had posted the link first, lol). I was going to link to the same article when I happened upon it yesterday, but I figured what the hey, it will be a good something for tomorrow since I’m not playing any poker at the moment. I promise I won’t go batshit about it here on these pages (at least for now, consider yourself warned), but pop on over and give it a read if for no other reason than to be aware of the situation.

If anyone gives a rats ass, here is my summary opinion of the latest goings on: We’re going to hell in a handbasket, one paragraph of bad laws at a time, and boy it’s really starting to add up to a crushing weight of bullshit. And seriously, I’m not saying that with any particular political party in mind, I think both are equally to blame. (OK, that’s not entirely true. I do think one is to blame more than the other, but not enough to make it worth focusing on)

Democrat or Republican, Liberal or Conservative, tree-hugger or tree-killer, I think we should all be extremely concerned.

Now, on to more pleasant things…..

I have discovered the wonders of Scotch. Glenlivet, to be more specific. It is the first bottle of Scotch I have ever purchased. You’re probably asking, “Why the heck did it take you so long?” I don’t really know. I only know that at the liquor store this weekend, I recalled many a post from other notable bloggers about their scotch consumption. Plus, the fancy bottles called to me with exhortations that I needed to partake in a more “adult” libation.

Fast forward four hours…..

I’m on my umpteenth scotch and water when I decide to take a gander at the bottle and find that it’s over half gone. Oops. I’m very drunk but strangely enough, quite lucid. I could get used to this. Scotchy scotch scotch, I love scotch. Given my drink of choice is normally a nice vodka or cognac, this is a big change, but one that I think will incorporate quite nicely.

However, my liver is frightened once again at fast approaching bend in the road. The Minister of Debauchery has planned a tournament after party in Vegas, and the venue will have forty different tequilas. After much consideration, all I can say is this…

[ HandiMan voice] Uh-oh! Sounds like trouble! [/HandiMan voice]

(If you don’t know or remember who HandiMan is, please refer back to the In Living Color archives)

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Truly, it's one long session.

Go Wil. I was going to go on a long winded and emotional rant about this issue, but he says it better than I likely would have. Give it a read and become properly outraged. I’ve written so many damn letters to my reps my hand is turning into a claw and I’m near to joining the who gives a shit nothing is going to ever get done or improve ranks. Common sense is so yesterday.

The above is, of course, pretty illuminating as to the state of mind I happen to be in at the moment. My situation at work for the last 10 days has me feeling like I’m sitting at the table with a bunch of mediocre colluders and I’m holding middle pair with a weak kicker. The situation sucks and it pisses me off to no end, but for now I’ve got to lay down my hand and pick a better spot to defend. I want to stop the colluders at my table, but they go way back with the manager who isn’t going to kick them out of the poker room for any reason short of raping a small furry woodland creature directly in front of the general public. My hand is likely best at this point, but with two more to come I could easily get drawn out on and lose my entire stack. It sucks but I’ve got to beat my ego into submission and pick a spot where I’m more likely to take down the pot.

Poker is not only a great game. Using lessons learned at the table to cope with ludicrous amounts of workplace bullshit also makes it a great teacher when your righteous indignation is prompting you to do something that is, in the larger scheme of things, rash and unnecessary. So here’s the Thinking Big reminder of the day: It’s all one long session, and not just at the tables.