Not so Wild Horse

Thank God, finally home. End of the week travel tip: NEVER fly on America West. Their incompetence is absolutely unparalleled.

When I awoke this morning, it dawned on me why I really hate traveling for business, and it’s not any of the obvious things. Sure, I hate being away from Mrs. Head and the kids (dogs), but I can deal with that. It is an altogether more insidious and little noticed thing that makes traveling so bad……the toilet paper.

Given the average quality of the TP I encountered this week, I may as well have taken sheets of paper from the printer and wiped my ass with that. The company is paying $160/night for my room and the place doesn’t even have the decency to provide paper that is softer than asphalt. End of the week travel tip #2: Bring your own TP. Your ass will thank you.

I think I need to switch careers and become a bidet lobbyist.

Not much else was notable about the trip, other than the fact that on Wednesday I took a trip to the Wild Horse Resort and Casino for some live poker action. However, action was not in the cards, so to speak. In any of the places where I’ve played live poker, the lowest stakes you can get is 3/6. So, upon finding out that the WH spread a 2/4 game, I was pumped up to go let loose on a table that was sure to be full of chip slingers.

If I would have brought a video camera with me, I would be speaking to you today a more famous individual. Why? Because I would have been able to record something akin to capturing the Loch Ness Monster singing show tunes. I would have recorded something I have never heard of before, a TIGHT 2/4 game. Squeaky tight. So tight it made nuns seem positively slutty by comparison. Unreal. I actually took down blinds with a preflop raise. Twice.

I only had two hours to play, so putting in for a new seat would have left me with only half an hour or so, so I decided to stick it out. With the Jackpot drop there was $4 coming out of any pot with callers, so there were several pots that had only four or five bucks. On one of my preflop raises that took the blinds I showed the hammer trying to loosen these people up, and nothing happened.

There was a nice calling station to my right who put a pretty nasty beat on me, when his A5o took down my KK with runner runner 5’s. I actually laughed out loud when he turned up his cards, having called with no straight or flush draws and bottom pair on the turn with me betting the whole way. At least he didn’t raise me on the river. Having bought in with $40, his calling station ways sent him packing very shortly.

Enter the middle-aged asian guy who it seems just recently discovered the check-raise. If he was in a hand and anyone bet out before he did, you could expect a flop raise. But he wouldn’t lead out, he would only raise if someone else bet, it was kind of strange. It was also very obvious that he never had anything. If he led out, he had something, so all you had to do was get out and wait for the next one. If he raised, the way was clear to re-raise with impunity, which he would promptly chase and then fold on the river, good stuff. Unfortunately he got chewed up and spit out pretty quick as well. That was about it, though. We had a couple more bad players stop by and quickly lose their money, but mostly it was tight and pretty boring. Considering the rake and jackpot drop, I was happy to leave only $14 down. The only reason I left down that much was the splash pot hand.

At random times throughout the night, they would pick a table and dump a rack of white into the pot. Needless to say, at our 2/4 table the odds to chase were good, so I chased through the turn, else I would have ended my session dead even. Not a bad place, but not really a good one either. Maybe it was simply because it was a Wednesday, I’m not sure. Another strange thing was the fact that the highest game they were spreading was one table of 8/16. Again, most likely simply due to the fact it was a late Wednesday.

I'll be spending today and tomorrow getting reacquainted with my normal routine and hopefully getting some time at the tables and catching up on all of the blog reading.. I should return to the regular Thinking Big schedule on Monday. Until then, my head will simply be Much Bigger.

Eezy Breezy

**cue Home Simpson voice** Mmmmm…Phoeniiiiiixx……Auuuggggghhhhhhh.

There is without a doubt no better time to be in a desert climate, let me tell ‘ya. When I get back there is going to be some hard lobbying to move here ASAP. I’ll trade four months of extreme hot for some nice winter months any day of the week.

I figured that immediately upon my arrival I would be itching to get onto the computer and do a post about how pissed I was at airlines, since that is usually the effect they have on me. In an unexpected turn of events, I arrived in a great mood despite flying here on a plane not much larger than an oyster tin. The TSA didn’t even piss me off, which if you know me at all, is an extremely RARE event. I think it was the nice old lady I was seated next to on the plane. I actually got the chance to be a good boy and help her with her bags and getting on and off the plane.

Yes, I can hear you asking. “Wouldn’t you do that anyway?”

NO. Wanna know why?

Most old ladies these days are friggin’ nasty old bitches. Well, most of the ones in my area, anyway. I always thought that most old ladies were nice, but it seems in the last couple of years they are harder and harder to come by. It makes me sad, really. I mean what better feeling than helping out an old lady who’s actually nice? It’s helps out the karma and satisfies the inner Boy Scout. The last time, I held the door open for a lady (at considerable inconvenience, I might add) and she didn’t even say anything, she just looked at me like I it was my job and walked brusquely by with nary a word.

This prompted a quick, “Well fuck you too.”

“You’re awful.”

“Well, next time I’ll try to be a little less awful and not hold the door. Have a nice trip you nasty old bitch.”

Maybe not the right thing to say, but it damn sure made me feel better. This trip restored my faith. Thank You nice old lady from L.A.

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I tried to be pissed at my hotel, but I just can’t be, the weather is too damn nice right now. I was completely pumped that The Shield was starting tonight, but my hotel doesn’t have the FX channel. In fact they hardly have ANY channel that’s worth watching. I figured that it wasn’t so bad since I had the WPT to keep me company on Wednesday, but guess what? That’s right, no Travel Channel either. Meh.

Given the lack of cable channels and the fact that I am immersed in all that is nerdy this entire week, please don’t be surprised at any unusually high levels of boring shit in any of my posts this week. (Say, this one, for example)

Speaking of all that is nerdy, I thought of something I’d like to have on a t-shirt. This probably won’t make sense to quite a few, so if it doesn’t just bear with me, it’ll be over soon.

T-Shirt Witticism: I’m rejecting your packets.

Yeah I know, it’s probably already been put on a shirt already and /or is not as amusing or witty as I think, but as you can plainly see, that’s not stopping me.

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I think I’m going to try and hit up a poker room tomorrow and actually try to profit from this trip a bit, which would be nice. Anyone have any suggestions for a good place to play in Phoenix/Tempe? A cardroom report would certainly be fun and would also help with the “I miss my wife and dogs” doldrums. What a sap I am. What a word, doldrums. Sounds like something a nice old lady or a Boy Scout would say.

HORSE Report (gonna be short)

As expected, my ass was handed to me. High Plains Drifter stopped by to wish me good luck at the start, much appreciated!

Great fun, along with the pleasure of playing with Todd Commish, UwannaBet, STB, and Mike at Poker Words, made the five bucks definitely worth it.

I did actually make it through one full HORSE, however, so that’s better than I thought. While shorted stacked on the final hand of Stud 8, I had AA 10 10 (first 4 cards)and ended up getting rivered by the low straight (I can’t remember who nailed me, but nice hand, whoever you are).

It’s just as well, I need to get packed. I have to spend all of this week in Phoenix for some training, so posts may be a bit sporadic. Anyone know of any cardrooms in the area? If I have any time (which I probably won’t) I’d sure like to get some cards in. After getting beat up at the tables (for small amounts, but beat up nonetheless) on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, I finally had a smallishly profitable day today, and am kind of antsy for a bit of live play before Vegas in June.

Talk to you all tomorrow, when chances of an airplane rant will be high.

P.S.--Holy Crap, I almost forgot. I dropped my first successful hammer in the first round! After many previous failed attempts, I can now hold my head high :)