Saturday, January 05, 2008

This almost made me have a stroke

Mrs. Head just read the following to me, posted at one of the pregnancy forums in which she occasionally lurks.

"Unique names stand out to people more than common names."
Oh god, I wish I was kidding.

The Next Big Idea

So I had this idea. I'm not even going to try and explain how I got there, it would take too long. It was a Nicky Nicky Nine Doors moment, something witnessed by few, and likely only remembered by Al. As this explanation is becoming more strange with every passing sentence and is likely only heightening confusion, I'll leave it at that.

Just hear me out.

What if one were to take a nice dinner platter, add some of that superultragreenextraleafy buffet lettuce (think Sizzler), put some tits on it, and take a picture?

Tits on a Plate.

It would be all the rage in the "up and comer" pantheon of fetish sites, I just know it. If a woman's feet flopping around in goo can be popular, this can do it too. The Little Porn Idea that Could.

Think about it. All one would need is a contest and international fame would ensue.

Announce. Offer prize and conferring of title. Take submissions for a month. Get quasi-celebrity judges. Declare winner, confer title. Repeat.

After some winners, announce a larger and more prestigious contest. State or perhaps even National conferring. Maybe announce divisions in the interest of fairness. Seniors Edition for the older, more technologically sophisticated set? Look honey, Grandpa's in better spirits than we've seen him in years! Go global. Be roundly condemned and widely loved.

It could work, we have reached that level. It's a stupidity who's time has come.

(and don't even think about implementing this without cutting me in you fuckers)

Check Out My Glorious Meat

(No style biting here, I swear it. BG asked for some pics. Style Bite Free since 2003. :))

The noble pig, in roast form.

Indeed, it needs something. Like more pig. Enter Bacon.

Where'd the bacon go? Where all meat should the hole. (Oh, that's dirty) I went with the lengthwise incision, to ensure bacon in every slice of the roast.

Next, worcestershire, liberally. For extra worcestershire penetration, stab the roast a few times on the top and bottom. Make sure the blade goes with the grain of the meat. No, I don't know why. Instinct. The gods told me it would dishonor the memory of the pig. Just do it.

Let sit a few, then turn. Repeat, repeat, repeat, over the course of 15 mins, or so.

Place in roasting pan, cover with olive oil (that's EVOO, if you're into Rachel Ray, and holy christ, I sincerely hope you're not--if you are, I don't wanna know) and coarse ground pepper. Add a little water, cover with foil, 300-325 for 75 mins (this roast is about 2lbs).

Slice red onion thin, then rough chop. Don't toss the worcestershire/pepper mix, we're gonna use it (although you may want to stick it in the fridge since there's pork business intermingled).

Take that red onion (or white, if you prefer milder) and toss it with spinach leaves, a quality honey mustard, and lemon juice. Not a lot of lemon juice, mind you, but just enough to facilitate an even-handed spreading of the honey mustard gospel to the godless spinach inhabitants. The photo is deceiving--Don't use too much honey mustard--there should only be a very light coating on the leaves. (I will now channel William Hung and let you know that "I have no professional traning of photographing")

Okay, maybe I used a bit much. It was an accident. Don't be like me.

60 minutes in, I popped off the foil and coated the roast the previously pictured leftover worcestershire/ground pepper/pork business mix. Re-cover and back in the oven. Made the command decision to hit it with another 20 mins, after which I removed the foil and left it for another 7 mins to brown and carmelize a bit after basting it with some drippings.

Witness the honored pig.

(Optional: You can chop a nice organic pear and stuff it with the bacon. I was going to to that tonight, but the pear I was saving was MIA. C'est la vie, it was still goddamn delicious.)

Friday, January 04, 2008

Note to Floridians

If you're going to rape an animal, do it quick.

(Disclaimer: I am not a Perez Reader. However, Mrs. Head is still overcoming her celebrity news addiction--she pointed this out as she fell off the wagon. Again :))

Ron Paul on Bill Moyers-01/04

Watch it.

The Real Iowa Winner-Updated

"So corrupted indeed and debased was that age by sycophancy that not only the foremost citizens who were forced to save their grandeur by servility, but every exconsul, most of the ex-praetors and a host of inferior senators would rise in eager rivalry to propose shameful and preposterous motions. Tradition says that Tiberius as often as he left the Senate-House used to exclaim in Greek, "How ready these men are to be slaves." Clearly, even he, with his dislike of public freedom, was disgusted at the abject abasement of his creatures." [emphasis mine]

--The Annals by Publius Cornelius Tacitus, Book 3

So, here's the top five from each side of the fence:


Barack Obama: 38%
John Edwards: 30%
Hillary Clinton: 29%
Bill Richardson: 2%
Joe Biden: 1%


Mike Huckabee: 34%
Mitt Romney: 25%
Fred Thompson: 13%
John McCain: 13%
Ron Paul: 10%

All the Dems say, Obama Huzzah, Guiliani lost, even to nutso Ron Paul, Huzzah! All the Republicans say, Chuck Norris and The Huck, Huzzah! That bitch Hillary took a beating, Huzzah!

Of course, one could look at this chart from another perspective....


Barack Obama: 38% --CFR
John Edwards: 30% --CFR
Hillary Clinton: 29% --CFR
Bill Richardson: 2% --CFR
Joe Biden: 1% --CFR


Mike Huckabee: 34% --Chummy with Serious Advisors John Bolton (CFR), and Richard Haass (President, CFR)
Mitt Romney: 25% --CFR
Fred Thompson: 13% --CFR
John McCain: 13% --CFR
Ron Paul: 10%

Sovereignty and Globalisation
, and article from Mr. Haass, is as good a place as any to start for the hard of thinking. Kind of funny is it not, especially on the Repub side of the fence*, what with all of the "top tier" candidates talking incessantly about the importance of border security. It's not a lie, certainly, because lying would be bad. But perhaps they're referring to a North American border, rather than the US border?

*I'm not addressing the democratic side because the stated agenda of the CFR lines up very nicely with the particular Kumbaya flavor of Kool-Aid that they, by and large, consume with great gusto. And besides, everyone knows that Democrats are communist socialist surrender-monkey terrorist-loving white guilt baguette chomping homosexual America-haters, right? (haha, I got jokes)

And already, as is so easily done when speaking of these things, I'm deviating.

In examining the top Republican "choice" from Iowa, once again the "evangelicals" or "fundamentalists" or whatever you want to call them are once again having their great numbers, their primitive instincts, and their massive ignorance highlighted*. You'd think they would learn. I can only imagine the smug satisfaction that must be on display in the inner chambers of the Harold Pratt House.

*Again, for the hard of thinking, this could easily be applied to the Democrat adherents as well. For now, I'm simply focusing on the Red Pachyderms rather than the Blue Asses.

One of the central tenants of being an evangelical is that you are opposed to an all-encompassing international system of governance (one-world government) because the Bible clearly states that such a thing is a harbinger of the "end times", and thus "evil". And yet these good, salt-of-the-earth Christian folk line up like good lambs behind the new shepherd candidates they are given, especially the preacher. Because preachers are good people. They don't lie, they know lots of stuff, and preachers naturally commune with the Lord of Hosts on a much more regular basis. Never mind that the preacher in question (as well as the other candidates) have latched themselves onto the people who's agenda is the very antithesis of their "values".

(Christians, start your persecution complex engines now)

(Neoconservative security state idealogues, start your "But the terrorists..." engines now)

The point is not whether or not globalisation or one-world government (or whatever other name you give it) is a good or a bad thing. What does matter is that an organization as massively wealthy and influential as the CFR (being the offspring of the Royal Institute for International Affairs), with their stated and up-front agenda towards these very ends, owns virtually all the horses in this "democratic" race, where America will make it's next "choice", and that should be a problem for everyone, regardless of position, because it means that the "internationalist" agenda will go forward. The only difference will be in the details of its Liberal or Conservative implementation.

Not much of a choice, is it?

Democracy in action. Huzzah, indeed.

CFR wins! CFR wins! CFR wins!

Update: Added Link to Huck bullet. Also worth reading, Digby-Another Huckabee Lie. Indeed whether or not he's lying about his CFR connections, you can tell by his blather about those folks that he sure would like some.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

I'm pretty sure we're not supposed to see this...

Democratic Test Returns from International Herald Tribune.

267 of 301 precincts - 89 percent

John Edwards27,001 - 29 percent

Dennis Kucinich23,296 - 25 percent

Mike Gravel6,498 - 7 percent

Bill Richardson5,682 - 6 percent

Barack Obama5,471 - 6 percent

Joe Biden5,217 - 6 percent

Hillary Clinton4,753 - 5 percent

Chris Dodd3,781 - 4 percent

Michael Skok1,820 - 2 percent

Total Write-ins1,630 - 2 percent

O. Savior1,249 - 1 percent

Tom Laughlin1,159 - 1 percent

Tom Koos1,090 - 1 percent

Dal LaMagna1,052 - 1 percent

Caroline Killeen854 - 1 percent

Bill Keefe753 - 1 percent

D.R. Hunter656 - 1 percent

William Hughes588 - 1 percent

Richard Caligiuri492 - 1 percent

Kenneth Capalbo390 - 0 percent

Randy Crow296 - 0 percent

Henry Hewes194 - 0 percent

I have no idea what it means exactly, but I'm thinking someone's ass may be toast. Just a feeling. Maybe it's the 'not be broadcast or published' part.

Monday, December 31, 2007

Indeed, a New Year.

It's about 8 degrees right now, this 8:30 PM on New Years Eve. What I wanna know is this:

Where the fuck is global warming when I need it?

It's a bitchin' New Years party here, and I would wave goodbye to 2007, but I'm too huddled and shivering.

Everyone here is totally wasted. Yup, baby too. Hell, she just puked over the upstairs rail and caught her second wind. This family won't have any problem making it to midnight. Ridiculous raging parties into the wee hours is just how we roll.

One last thing....

Carson Daly, as well as the Dick Clark that came before him, can suck it.

Happy New Year