Thursday, January 25, 2007

(No Title)

That's me last night, playing penis to GE's giant plastic vagina.

Workin' it.

It went on much like this, hot and heavy, for the next 45 minutes. Now I'm just waiting on the (not yet rated) film.

I was under the impression that these recent back troubles were mere coincidence, and that may still be the case. However, it did come to mind that karma may be involved as it dawned on me that I wasn't very nice to a Girl Scout last week. I wasn't mean or anything (I don't think I could actually be mean to a Girl Scout), but I wasn't nice either.

Let's go with gruff...and a pinch of abrupt.

Ya know what? Never mind. Now that I think about it, that's the reason I wasn't very nice--my back was killing me. Karma isn't taking me apart, at least not for that. Still, I feel kinda bad about it. Maybe there's a rehab clinic for me to figure out why I would treat a Girl Scout so. It may be my unconscious fear of being enslaved by those wee, tasty, overpriced cookies.

Guess what I saw

[Editors note--Everyone, welcome Hashimoto (of the Hashimoto's, purveyors of fine thyroid issues)

Hi, everyone. I saw the following today and thought it was funny. Since Sharing is Caring, I thought I'd share with you.

Silver/dust-colored Buick, early 80’s model, over burdened by its occupants who apparently just left the shooting of a Hee-Haw reunion show. The handicapped placard hanging from the rear-view is slightly obscured by the “patina” of the windows and partially blocked the driver’s 10-gallon hat. Or perhaps by one of ma’s curlers (ma is in the back seat, and not to be mistaken with The Ol’ Lady in the front seat).

On the bumper, in the areas not covered with rust, is one lonely sticker. It reads:

Lincoln Elementary readers are tomorrow’s leaders.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Nice Doggy

So here we are, post-conditioning session (State of the Union, for the serious types), beset with old lies presented, yet again, as truth.

I think I have herniated discs (again) in my back (with no defining "event" to blame), so trying to sit as still as possible during another futile bout of "find a position without searing pain" while viewing the governmental festivities last night was difficult, to say the least.

Even though putting two thoughts together is a bit of a problem at the moment due to my spine dishing out healthy doses of "pain compliance", I must get fingers to keyboard, even if it's only for a bit.

Not about the speech, though. Way too obvious.

The thing I find I'm more stuck on today (following my first day back to work after several days of entertaining relatives in the middle of some of the strangest local weather in a long time) is the way that the media seems to be talking about it. CNN, in particular, as it is the station being aired in my department the entire day--at least it's not FOX, although FOX does have broadcast dominance on the television in the break/common area (what can I say, I work for a fair and balanced company). As a side note, the above does make me wonder is it FOX that makes people want to devour Lean Cuisines and all manner of artificial nacho cheese, or is it the regular consumption of these things that makes them want to watch FOX continuously?

If a person could prove the latter was true, would that mean that those foods are more patriotic by default?

Just thinkin' out loud here, folks. Think of what might happen should the doctors see fit to combine medication with this pain. Good gawd I'd likely have to put a call into Emeril (the "E" stands for ewok) to help make any vertical notch movements official.

**focus--picture your pain as a soft white ball of light....**

CNN kept playing the results of a survey they did as a follow-up to the State of the Union. They flogged it several times, as the news is wont to do, during the earlier morning hours. I noted that they seemed to be flogging this poll a bit more than their normal polls, but whatever, back to work.

They were still flogging the same poll as I came back from lunch. During the last couple hours hours of my day it was the same. While I didn't take fastidious notes with time stamps, it seemed as though they were talking about this thing directly before every commercial break. Why was it making me so nuts?

Twas the fucking poll question, "How do you feel after the president's speech last night?" Positive, negative, or the same?

Um, who cares.

Rather than hear about how people feel about something, I'd rather hear what they think. Of course, this would require making mention of the actual content of the speech (or lack thereof), and really who wants that? It would probably cause things like arguments and name-calling to break out, which is so boorishly partisan.

Various pundits and leadership were also queried, "How do you feel the president did last night?"

Nope, not very many thoughts on content there (other than the ever present all general successful waging of the war on terror and look over there at bad nasty Iran platitudes), but an awful lot of feeling. It's enough to make one think that there might be a concerted effort to minimize any real thought by focusing on general perception based on the facial expression and tone of the president rather than the meaning or implications (or, again, lack thereof) of his words. Kind of like a happy fun biggest focus group ever! Prizes? Maybe they'll put my email on TV. Yea!

There's something else on the tip of my brain....something else that doesn't really care about words so much but is really sensitive to tone and expression.....

Oh yes, dogs. Obedient, eager to please, dogs. Or children, take your pick.

I hoped for a fucking clue today from CNN, but alas, there were none to be found. **winks at Anonymous Coward** If I despise "liberal" CNN, does that mean I'm still a fucking left-wing asshole?

I'm off for an MRI now, and afterward, perhaps some nachos.