Thursday, December 09, 2004


Worry not, dear reader, my mini-tirade concerning the self-styled "Poker Brat" is on the way, but there are some things that must be attended to first....To start (cue trumpets and medieval flourish), found this wonderful piece of work through SirFWALGMan,and if I had some sort of prize to give for Link of the Week he would definitely be the recipient. Once again, if you are even REMOTELY literate, you must get your eyes over to Dooce ASAP.

Next, I must do some "maintenance updates". 1) I WILL be posting pics of the "naughty fridge" soon, as was promised recently. I have not forgotten. I tried to take some pics directly following my initial promise, but to say they didn't turn out well would be giving them too much credit. I finally found the manual to my camera, and am currently slogging through it in an effort to bring pictures to you that do not instantly cause a migraine. Can you tell yet that photography is not a favorite pastime of mine? Man, I sure hope this "naughty fridge" endeavor doesn't turn out to be a letdown, considering the ever increasing buildup.... 2) I will get a list of links to all of the other great bloggers I love to read posted ASAP. It's been quite some time since I did any web work whatsoever, so I am trying to reeducate myself as quickly as possible as I find bits of free time here and there. I know that more free time exists somewhere, but at present it eludes me. I promise to look harder.

Even though I'm sure that many of you already read
2+2, here is a great thread involving Funniest Lines You Have Heard at the Poker Table. Even though the thread started back in mid-October, it is still being added to and is pretty damn funny. Also, should you find that you have said any of the things listed therein in any way other than in pure jest, then you should be spending much more time reading/studyng than actually playing. If you have the ability to retain any information at all, it is pretty difficult NOT to become a better player after reading 2+2 for a while. I am confident that I can say these things without diminishing the fish count, as most folks who would take this advice and endeavor to become better players have already found this resource. The actual fish will continue to ignore any action that might lead to improvement in their game, as they are already "up a little", and would be further up were it not due to that guy with QQ who put the bad beat on them when they hit middle pair 7 on that J high board and he wouldn't "respect their raises".

And now, for (hopefully) your pleasure, I will attempt to mix ranting and poker.

The love/hate evolution of my view of Phil Helmuth Jr., self-styled "Poker Brat", finally came to it's seemingly inevitable conclusion yesterday with the new issue of CardPlayer. As illustrated in my first ever posting, and evidenced by my mistake of purchasing Play Poker Like the Pros, my love/hate level was about 90/10. These numbers began to slowly drift as the year went on and I continued to view different tourneys and interviews. I was also getting progressively more annoyed by the lack of actual poker content in his articles for CardPlayer. (BTW, does anyone reading this actually subscribe to CardPlayer, and if so, why? Perhaps I am missing something, as I will continue to simply read it on their site where it is free) Then came the infamous interview by ESPN on the '04 WSOP broadcast. You know, the one where someone decided that it would be a good idea to show him shirtless and making a complete (and I'm sure unwitting, which makes it even more sad) mockery of Buddhist principles and the practice of meditation? Love/Hate= 40/60. So yesterday, after skipping approximately the last seven or so articles he has written, I decide to give a peek at the one in the newest issue. Christ, it is even worse than I remember, To Quote:

"Greg Pierson is the man! No, you haven’t heard of him yet, but mark my words, GP’s new company, IoVation — an Internet security company — will have a billion dollar valuation by 2008. Considering how much respect I have for Greg and the fact that I’m lucky enough to be an investor in IoVation, I vowed to him that he could get some private lessons from me anytime."

Holy hell, can this guy possibly have larger self-esteem/acceptance issues? I started searching back through the archives and was actually ashamed that I hadn't taken more notice of this before, although my subconscious obviously did, hence the skipping of the previous articles. This guy's egregious name-dropping and self promotion is enough to make even Donald Trump blush. At least the Donald is 'richer than God' as well as brimming with confidence and self-assurance. Phil consistently comes off as nothing other than lame and whiny, as you KNOW he was the vengeful kid in school who always got picked on and cried a LOT, always secretly plotting some sort of revenge to be meted out in the future. If he wasn't such a great talent at poker and had to work a normal job, I would fear for his co-workers. Current Love/Hate=3/97. I still have 3 percent on the Love side because (camera close up on my concerned newsanchor face as I get ready to spew a heartfelt entreaty),

"Phil, there is no taking away from the fact that you are truly one of the great poker players out there, as evidenced by your 9 WSOP bracelets and the fact that you are the youngest ever to win the event. But for the love of God and for the good of this beloved game, please get a therapist (or two) and start acting with more class, as you are old enough and should be experienced enough to know better. Stop peddling crappy (and by crappy I mean WAY below mediocre) products to the masses in a shameless effort to cash in on your steadily declining reputation. Yes, it is making you wealthy, and all of us are happy for you. However, money can come and go, but the respect of others can truly last and will make you a much happier person."

Well, now I'm just dissapointed and sad after ranting about someone who had great potential but simply turned out to be another steaming pile of humanity. I guess all I can do is wish him well (in my head, of course), and hope that future brings us something better where he is concerned. Now it's back to for some smiles....

Oh yes, Thinking Big...head Much Bigger, and all of that :)