Friday, January 27, 2006

Live blogging Jerry Springer

Editors Note: Don't ask me what the hell I was thinking because I'm just not sure.

4:11---Ol dude just confessed to sleeping with his g/f's mom for two years. Shocking.

4:13--Oh SNAP! Turns out g/f has been doing it his best friend, "E" for the last 8 mos. "E" looks a lot like QuestLove (the drummer). Neither one can fight. Short white guy and QuestLove, should be quite a matchup.

4:19--Commercials. I love the commercials they show on Springer. Invention Kits, nice.

4:20--Did yo phone get turnt off? We'll get your phone turnt back oun fast. Rent-a-Center, I can get a free month! Fuckin sweet, now I can get that sectional I've had my eye on.

4:23--New people. Now we have Derek. He's gonna tell his g/f he's been sleeping with a transexual for the last 8 mos.

4:25--Rachel comes in, finds Springer and tries turning to Oprah. She thinks just cuz she's a Roshambo champ she can do whatever. I broke out a pimp hand and now we're back to Springer :)

4:28--Shit! Cash AND I get to keep my car? Why did no one tell me about this before!!!

4:30--Brenda is in denial and they are fighting. It's almost tranny time.

4:31--Tranny "Candice" is out on stage. Oddly enough, Candice has a prettier face than the g/f (did I just say that?). Good thing Candice is a man, he's whippin that girls ass.

4:35--The gall of that g/f. She was bugging her man to get a damn job! What the hell was he supposed to do? You can only resist the trannies for so long when your needs ain't bein' attended to.

4:37--Here's some insight into where I live. FOX News was voted as the best news in Kansas. Nuff Said.

4:42--New girl Sherry. Married two months found out hubby was cheating with her best friend before they were married. She's says she'll kick that bitches ass. Well see, she doesn't look very in shape.

4:44--Her friend is even bigger! It's like two dark-haired marshmallows colliding. Uh-oh, they're bringing out Billy Rae. Holy Shit, BR looks like Chris Ferguson, but on a lot more meth.

4:47--Jerry just called one of them beautiful. What a kidder. He was just really drunk it was a one time thing, he doesn't see the big deal. I don't either really (Sorry Rach--poor attempt at scarcasm).
waitaminute--marshmallows bouncing again--nope, commercials
4:50--Audience participation time, the freaks are lined up for viewing.

4:52--White girl just said black g/f looked like a man. Oh no she di'int.

4:53--FATTEST. GIRL. EVER. Just yanked off her shirt. I feel dirty.

4:57--Jerry is giving his thought provoking final thought, so I'll give mine. Don't be like me. I just wasted good blogging space doing a stupid thing. I am dumber for having watched that. Thanks go to Gracie, for the idea of copying the Good Doctor :)