Monday, April 18, 2005

More Cube Chronicles

I am Nick Burns.

I wasn’t always like this.

When I came into my job, I was really pumped. Sure, I have to deal with some users every now and again, but how bad can that be? I’ll just educate them, help them out, and all will be well as time goes by. Then I can devote my time to system improvements and other problems that are worth fixing, right? I’ll be nice, gently guiding my users down the path to personal tech enlightenment, and together we will achieve workplace nirvana.


I’ve known it all along, but today it finally dawned on me with weird sort of finality. Users are frikkin’ incurable idiots. What makes it really bad is that they are idiots who care very little about their idiocy, and even less about trying to gain enough knowledge to propel them up from ‘complete vegetable’ to ‘mildly functional retard’ user status.

Sure, no one knows everything about everything, least of all me. But damn, is learning how to not hit ‘Reply to All’ on an email really that difficult? How about dragging and dropping? Sometimes I wonder, do these same people end up frozen in their driveways on random mornings straining with effort and whining at the huge intellectual leaps required of them to start their car?

I used to think Nick Burns was just a pompous uber-techie, but I was wrong. He is simply resigned to his fate until he can get promoted further down the techie rabbit hole, that wonderful place where there are no users. Being nice is simply too much wasted effort, and now I am him and he is me.


(If you are reading this, no matter how dumb you think you are, you are not one of the folks I speak of. You can find and read a blog. If I said the word “blog” around any of these, they would likely think I was swearing at them in Klingon or talking about a strange foreign food. Thanks for reading about my frustration.)