Monday, February 14, 2005

Warning: Sappy

Valentines Day=Time to get a little sappy.

WARNING: I decided to use today’s post for my wife in lieu of buying a card. Cards are lame and very run-of-the-mill more often than not, and while this post may be lame and run-of-the-mill, I’m not spending money to have some corporate ‘nameless one’ do the job for me. So, one last time, I’ll warn you that this post will more than likely be a waste of your valuable time. Unless you are at work, of course, where wasting time is perfectly acceptable.

Dearest Mrs. Head,

The reasons I love you are really too numerous to count, or even remember, so I thought I would compose a short (but by no means, complete) list for you this day:

  • You can rap “Yo! Bum Rush the Show” and other old Public Enemy gems completely from memory. I’d lay money that most tiny, fair-haired white girls can’t even name one of their songs, let alone sing them (or, in this case, rap them).
  • You pet my asteroid size head when I’m feeling sad.
  • You let me fart pretty much whenever I want and don’t yell at me. You also are never disgusted if I let you know that I had to suddenly “handle my binness” because the urge struck while you were at work.
  • You take care of the hardwood floors in the house, because you know I hate doing it, without sending me down a black hole of guilt.
  • You think I’m funny when most think I’m simply from another planet.
  • You’re the most beautiful girl in the world, and for some reason you enjoy being with me. You’re still there when I wake up every day, which finds me a little amazed, and a lot thankful.

I will never really be able to say just how much I Love You. I hope my short list at least gives you a glimpse. Happy Valentines Day!

Final Note: For those that actually made it through all of that, all I can say is “I tried to warn you”. I’ll have some poker tomorrow, and Happy Valentines Day to everyone else as well. May you be as lucky in love and at cards as I have thus far in life’s journey.