Valentines Day=Time to get a little sappy.
WARNING: I decided to use today’s post for my wife in lieu of buying a card. Cards are lame and very run-of-the-mill more often than not, and while this post may be lame and run-of-the-mill, I’m not spending money to have some corporate ‘nameless one’ do the job for me. So, one last time, I’ll warn you that this post will more than likely be a waste of your valuable time. Unless you are at work, of course, where wasting time is perfectly acceptable.
Dearest Mrs. Head,
The reasons I love you are really too numerous to count, or even remember, so I thought I would compose a short (but by no means, complete) list for you this day:
- You can rap “Yo! Bum Rush the Show” and other old Public Enemy gems completely from memory. I’d lay money that most tiny, fair-haired white girls can’t even name one of their songs, let alone sing them (or, in this case, rap them).
- You pet my asteroid size head when I’m feeling sad.
- You let me fart pretty much whenever I want and don’t yell at me. You also are never disgusted if I let you know that I had to suddenly “handle my binness” because the urge struck while you were at work.
- You take care of the hardwood floors in the house, because you know I hate doing it, without sending me down a black hole of guilt.
- You think I’m funny when most think I’m simply from another planet.
- You’re the most beautiful girl in the world, and for some reason you enjoy being with me. You’re still there when I wake up every day, which finds me a little amazed, and a lot thankful.
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