Wednesday, February 23, 2005


Artificial Intelligence? Nope, American Idol, but the intelligence contained therein is definitely artificial. The Mrs. is an American Idol fan, which I guess by proxy makes me one too. Thank God for that Intraweb thing during that time slot.

Last night I didn’t have to see too much of the show since I got home later than normal and still had to cook. While I’m in the kitchen, I hear a noise most disturbing….

Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo

It was as familiar as it was unpleasant, and it took me a second to place it. **accessing memory banks…located** Arsenio Hall Show….oh no, say it’s not so.

Coming out from the kitchen I find Randy Jackson not only prompting the male contestants to make this odious noise, but also to partake in the attendant fist circle motion that was Arsenio’s little gimmick. Even during it’s height, the Arsenio fist and noise thing wasn’t very cool, I wonder why he can’t grasp the fact that it’s even less so now?

Just when I think it’s impossible for my sensibilities to be offended any further, he refers to the male Idol contestants as ‘The Dogg Pound”. Mommy, make the bad man stop… Note to Randy: Snoop did this already in the early 90’s, and it belongs solely to him.

Jeezus, next thing we know, Randy Jackson will be calling himself the Don Mega. I kind of hope he does, as seeing him punched by Ice Cube would be worthy of a Pay-per-View style event.

Which brings me to my Randy Jackson Hypothesis. Everyone knows a white guy that acts WAY too artificially black. That’s Randy, except he actually IS black. That’s it, that’s the hypothesis. Most white folks are more black than Randy Jackson. God is definitely a cruel comedian.