Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Other reasons for Doomsday Clock adjustment

The doomsday clock is closer to midnight.

Besides the obvious reasons for this move, reasons which I have been flogging and will continue to flog as the days wear on, there are some more obscure reasons why this was the correct move for the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists to make:

--Salmon-colored shirts seem to be making a comeback, particularly among executive types. As if their excessive hair gel wasn’t bad enough, we can now add this odious apparel color to the list of things for which they should be despised, along with failure to properly manage anything and their ongoing “my Bluetooth earpiece is cooler than yours and I can go a longer period of time before removing it than you can” contest. Never taking a position with red or pink, they opt instead to cower fearfully in fashion’s wasteland with the in-between salmon choice.

--I could have sworn that annoying and mostly useless car alarms went out around ’99 or ’00. These also seem to be enjoying a resurgence as I haven’t been able to step outdoors once in the last three weeks without an alarm going off in my ear. I tried to do a scientific survey, starting with the bum who gleans used butts from the outdoor ashtray, but as soon as I opened my mouth, a car alarm went off and thwarted my efforts.

--Donald Trump acquired his own star on the Walk of Fame. Next in line, Anders Dahlvig?

--Big Brother is still a running television show

--Someone actually decided it would be a great idea to hire Mr. Spears. What’s the over/under on how many times “diamond in the rough” was mentioned in that meeting? Someone point SEC in the direction of Nationwide—this move is just plain hostile to investors.

If anything, they’re not moving that clock forward enough.

(feel free to add to the list in comments)