Thursday, December 16, 2004

Corporate-Fu

Good morning, everyone! I’m finally back on a good schedule, which entails getting up with my lady, doing a bit of cleanup from the previous evening while she readies herself for work, and then doing whatever the hell I want for the rest for the rest of the morning after she leaves. Lately, and for the foreseeable future, this means getting in a good post.

Last night I was able to watch my new LOTR Extended Edition DVD, and all I can say is, WOW! Fifty extra minutes! No matter how many times I see the LOTR movies, I am still amazed at how true to the books they stayed. As I grew up, I read through The Hobbit as well as the trilogy about 3 different times, and this is one of the VERY few times that the movie has lived up to expectations. Yes folks, I am one of THOSE people. The ones who go around and bitch constantly about how much better the book was. It’s true, though. The book, in most cases, IS much better than the watered-down, vanilla, we’re gonna spoon-feed you drivel that the Hollywood machine cranks out. So here is my first exhortation of this post: Even if you are not into any of that geeky, Dungeons and Dragons, fantasy type stuff, it is still worth your time to see these movies, as they are just plain good.. My Mom even thought they were pretty good, and this is from someone who enjoys such fare as The Waltons , the Hallmark Channel, and ABC Family. OK, make it two exhortations: Read more. Well I guess I don’t really need to tell you that, dear reader, since you’re here. Just pass it on to any less literate acquaintances you may have.

I planned on doing a rant about commercials and advertising in general, but I’m putting that aside for now as I’m still getting it together in an effort to be as eloquent as possible on the subject (or at least, what passes for eloquent in my mind).

Here I go……

So I don’t end up like the Delta Flight Attendant who recently blogged herself out of a job, I will only speak in generalities where my work is concerned, on the rationale that I don’t have “fuck you” money yet and for the most part enjoy my job immensely. I have recently encountered for the first time a VERY annoying situation that I’m sure many of the more experienced tech folks out there are abundantly familiar with (as well as plenty of non-tech types, too). As stated previously, I am the Systems Administrator at one of my company’s many locations, and am surrounded by admin types and sales staff. For some reason there are people who seem to think that because I spend my time walking around and talking to people (making sure things are working as they should), don’t have specific “deliverables” day in and day out, and the fact that I rarely deal with the customer, my job is not really a “job” and it’s their duty to “keep me busy” as they put it. Huh?

Let it be said here that my actual “boss” is amazing. She doesn’t know all that much when it comes to IT issues (remember, I’m the only IT at this location, but I still have to have someone local “managing” me), and will freely admit it. Although, I will say that the knowledge she does possess far outshines that of most anyone else on staff, who think the words “bandwidth” and “router” when used in the same sentence are akin to a magical incantation of some sort. Basically, she lets me do what I want, when I want, as long as things are working as they should be and everyone is reasonably happy. I love her for it.

Now, back to my burgeoning problem. This person who has decided to be the one to “keep me busy” is a Director of another department, although I will refrain from saying which one, lest I stray too far from the generalities path I have set. Recently, the Big Boss set aside a room where all the staff is supposed to take some time to sign Christmas Cards that will be going out to customers. I’m the tech guy, for Christ’s sake. Most of these customers don’t even know who I am, let alone care to hear from me. Problem Director (this will be his/her name from here on out) decides to make it known to everyone that I have not signed said cards, and seems to need to stir up a pointless dialogue about it. This occurrence, plus several others involving the hours I work (no concern of his/hers) and what projects I am currently working on (once again, no concern of his/hers) have brought the insides of my oversize cranium to a nice steamy temperature.

Were this any other person not in a Director position, they would have already been the recipient of a verbal tirade designed to make them frightened to even glance in my direction. (Lest you think that I am a violent type screamer, let me assure you that I am not. As anyone who has been around corporate “worker bees” knows, they are by and large passive/passive-aggressive people who are not accustomed to direct aggression or confrontation, and will wilt at the slightest hint of it.) However, being as I have only been in my position for a couple of months, and even though HR is populated solely by a supreme group of pantywaists who won’t fire ANYONE, I don’t think this is a good spot for direct confrontation. This will call for a more devious brand of “Corporate-Fu” which I will begin to implement through my boss when she gets back next week.

Why did I decide to relate this seemingly pointless story? Well, thus far in my relatively short IT career, this is the first time I’ve really encountered this level of douchebaggery from Senior (Administrative) Staff, as most are simply content as long as the machines work as they should. I guess I just wanted to get it off of my chest, and hopefully induce a smile and a knowing nod from other “corporate whores”, tech and non-tech alike. I also felt the need to say that if you are one of those who find yourself being the passive type, especially where co-workers are concerned, STOP IT. Jibe back baby, jibe back. Get direct with these fools. Get the proverbial “verbal furniture” movin’ in this motherfucker. I promise you, they will come to respect and fear your directness, and your work life will be better for it.

There won’t be any post tomorrow, as I will be leaving early in the AM for a day at the casino, to hopefully return in the evening with a goodly amount of poker profit. Thanks to F-Train, I am now reminded to be wary of tournament juice (especially where Harrah’s is concerned). I was planning on playing in the $100 NLHE tourney, but if the juice is too high I’ll refrain, no matter how much I want to play in a live tourney. Either way, I’ll hopefully have something interesting to relate come Saturday. My apologies to anyone who was bored out of their skull by the above rant, and as an attempt to appease, I offer this…..

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My second entry from the “naughty fridge”. My parents on their (thankfully) infrequent visits just loved this one, as they are VERY religious and strict Baptists. Notice the wholesome cross-stitching of the curse word, tempering it’s naughtiness. It helps to guarantee that they walk away from my house, each and every time, wondering (with much hand-wringing) “Where did we go wrong?”

I’ll talk to you all on Saturday, and remember kids…Think Big but always keep in mind that my head is Much Bigger.