Jetsetting Impotent Hamsters

No I'm not referring to our politicians.

Here ya go--a little morning nonsense.

They tell us it's to help the internal clock adjust to travelling east. I think it's actually a few high-profile hamsters with too much job stress who've developed an inability to "swing it like real hamster-men", as it were. It's a little known problem--there should probably be some sort of charity event to raise awareness for this...."Get it up for Hamsters" or something. Attack people who don't seem to care with questions like "how would you like it if you couldn't bone anything? Hamsters have needs too, you cold-hearted bastards!"

Christ. I need to stay offline until I've been awake for at least an hour.