Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Doodie Melange

With work running me ragged over the last two days I’m finding it difficult to focus enough to churn out a decent post (although whether any of the posts here qualify as “decent” or “good” is infinitely debatable), so bear with me and today’s scattered mélange of doodie.

--If the big telcos are actually successful in implementing their new “Tiered Internet” model and Congress doesn’t have enough sense to help enforce network neutrality I think I’m just going to completely freak the hell out. As if that’s anything new. I’m always freaking out about something. The linked article above is a nice and simplified version of what’s happening and is a good place to start learning of the issue. And yes, everyone should learn about it because it will affect everyone very quickly if this starts.

--There should be a push to ban teleconferences. Certainly they are necessary sometimes, and god help me, beneficial in rare instances. However, you should have to show cause. I could definitely get on board with that piece of bureaucracy and would lay money that by cutting most teleconferences businesses would actually see a productivity increase along with a corresponding decrease in suicide by office equipment. I think it goes without saying that I have no hard numbers to back up this assertion. I’m thinking outside the box! Give me some kudos! (See what corporate life is doing to me ?! )

--It’s Wednesday, so that means that the office is buzzing with talk of the huge lottery jackpot tonight. Of course, the reigning question is “What would you do with it all if you won?” Here are some answers from real people that actually breathe:

  • “I would get liposuction”—If this is your number one goal when you have over 100 million, well…..shit, I can’t think of anything snarky to say to that. It’s really just fuckin’ depressing.
  • “I would buy a big place out in the country”—Seems innocuous does it not? When asked “In the country where?” the response was, “Here!” Where am I located currently? That’s right, say it with me, EGADS. Again, too sad for snark.
  • “I would go to Mexico”—This one piqued my interest as this is a potentially good idea. I began mentally running over the list of optimal locations for someone with loads of cash until I was interrupted by the follow-up, “If I lived there would I have to learn Spanish? That’s what they speak there, right?”
  • When the question was put to me, I was proud of my HR inappropriate answer, “I would have some people killed, I think.” It’s fun watching as they struggle to find a way to respond.

--In one of Al’s recent posts, one of the last pictures featured The Shocker (it’s the one at the bottom captioned “two in the pink, one in the stink” if you don’t know what the hell that is). Lo and behold, one of the commercials for the nightly news plugged an expose they were going to be running about Wichita State Shockers fans. They showed pictured of these fans, composed of parents, kids, old folks and young, cheerleading squads, etc. in pictures giving holding The Shocker hand gesture. The lead-in? Fan support or obscene gesture? We’ll tell you at 9. I love FOX news. Nothing better than scads of bible-belters being unintentionally obscene on film. I could almost hear the cries on the Wichita wind last night….”Oh, I feel so dirty now” or, in the patented denial fashion ala my parents, “I can’t believe they took that and made it dirty.” Good times.

Duty calls, so I must stop the doodie here. Talk at ya tomorrow.