Morning Dick Jokes, brought to you by Nature

There is such a volume of possibility here, I'm rendered useless underneath its weight. Have fun.

New Post Elsewhere

Today's post went up on Verbosities.

Ron Paul and the FOX "debate"

Many thanks to his verbose highness, BG, for the invite to post on his newly created space. Now go quickly and link it up, visit every day, and commit to sharing its gospel with at least one person per day.

Thus saith The Lord.

Killer buds

Don't think this needs too much more comment.

The department's investigation began with a 911 call from Sanchez's home on April 21, 2006. On a 5-minute tape of the call, obtained by the Free Press, Sanchez told an emergency dispatcher he thought he and his wife were overdosing on marijuana.

"I think we're dying," he said. "We made brownies and I think we're dead, I really do."

Globalization + War on Terror = Freedom Bath

Original Here

Raids across Germany on G-8 fears

By KIRSTEN GRIESHABER, Associated Press Writer Wed May 9, 8:00 AM ET

BERLIN - Police raided the premises of leftist groups in cities across Germany Wednesday on suspicion of a plot to attack next month's G-8 summit.

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More than 900 federal and local police officers in cities including Berlin, Hamburg and Bremen searched some 40 apartments or offices used by various leftist groups, federal prosecutors said in a statement.

The prosecutors said they were investigating more than 18 individuals suspected of organizing a terrorist group. They said they were focused on dismantling a Web server where many leftists and groups and projects maintained their internet sites and mailing lists.

"The militant extreme left groups and their members are suspected of having founded a terrorist group, or of being members of such an organization, with the specific goal of staging firebombings and other violent attacks in order to disrupt or prevent the upcoming G-8 summit," the statement said.

The Anti-Fascist Leftists of Berlin said the searches targeted activists who were organizing protests against the summit of the Group of Eight industrialized nations.

"The only point of these searches is to criminalize and disrupt the protests against the G-8," the group said. "The accusation that terrorists would coordinate their movements through a leftist-run Internet server is ridiculous."

Federal investigators have expressed concern the summit in the Baltic Sea resort of Heiligendamm could be a target for attack.

In December, anti-G-8 activists splashed paint on a hotel at the resort in northeastern Germany.

G-8 summits have often been a magnet for protests against globalization. At a summit in Genoa in 2001, the demonstrations turned violent, with protesters and police battling in the streets for days.

German security officials have built a $17 million fence around the resort in an effort to keep protesters from the event, hosted by German Chancellor Angela Merkel. The leaders of the United States, Russia, Britain, France, Italy, Canada, and Japan are also to attend.

Oh God, a meme

It is I. He, now known as “used to write a poker blog, sort of”.

The Head. Given leave to be a freak in new ways.

I wonder often as to why I have not been definitively shunned by the PoBlo Community* and forced to wander alone in the electronic wilderness searching for a new home given that any pretense to writing more than twice a year on the subject of poker is completely and utterly gone for the foreseeable future.

Color me happy. I love my degenerate, ghey pals.

*(sounds just as unwieldy as “poker blogging community”, but with a spiffy pop-PR veneer. Perhaps we can get a jump on things and create our own UN Habitat for Sustained Development before we’re all forced into enclaves with people we hate. We now have the name!)

As an aside, another thing I wonder about is why some (including myself) are so inclined to toss out personal “little known things” to the electronic masses. I hope it’s something deeper and more complex than abject narcissism, because if that’s true I’m gonna be kind of sad. I didn’t say I’d stop. I just said it would make me sad. Any further posts of mine you might read would simply have to be with the knowledge that I was sniffing and crying rivulets while compulsively typing like a heroin-addicted baboon with intimate knowledge of what he is. A horrifying thought, to be sure.

Or, Maudie (9th degree tagging professional) could be the NSA trying to build a psychological profile on me for future exploitation. Whatever the case, there seems to be some sense of “do I really want to do this?” that hangs about. Not that such thoughts ever stopped me before. I’m just sayin’.

Here are some little known things about me for your voyeuristic pleasure—

1. I’m black. I know, I look white. You’ll just have to trust me.
2. I’m constantly looking to squeegee my third eye. However you want to take that is fine with me. (if either way is true, does that count as two? I always have been an overachiever—oops, there’s three)
3. I’m one of those people, at least in part. I looked around one day and realized I had two miniature dogs with names beginning in the same letter like some suburbanite cutesy mushhead. Simon and Stella, who I treat for the most part like actual kids and refer to them as such at least half of the time. I should beat myself up.
4. I crapped my pants once in kindergarten. Full on. I still can’t talk very much about it. Although, nowadays I project supreme “I won’t soil myself” confidence by going full-time commando (dammit, that’s two again).
5. I still listen to Natalie Merchant’s Tigerlily at least twice a year. It’s some weird biomusicalogical clock thing. Why am I telling you people this?
6. I think Hitler was just misunderstood. Okay, that’s a dirty lie. I just wanted to get your mind off of #5 for a second.
7. I’m of the mind that it would be much better to be deaf than it would be to be blind. I could live without hearing much easier than I could without books. Seriously, the absence of books would be a devastating blow.

I'm terrible at these games.

Next Up—

Change100
Facty (who needs to be tagged multiple times, as she is missed)
Derek
Pauly (just because it will probably annoy him)

And a Happy Midlife Crisis to Ignatious, the biggest little guy evar.

Electric Fusion

I don't know about you, but I'm pretty goddamn ready for this.

America, grab on to this guy....

...and don't let go.

From Ron Paul's site--

Press Release

Ron Paul Builds Momentum

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

May 8, 2007

ARLINGTON, VA – Congressman Ron Paul's support has soared since the first Republican presidential debate. Conservative commentator John McLaughlin, host of “The McLaughlin Group," cited Ron Paul as having given "the best performance of the debate." In fact, the Paul campaign's apparent strength has many other pundits scrambling to explain it. Paul campaign officials offer the following examples of the candidate's rising success.

Since the debate on May 3, Ron Paul:

• Handily won two post-debate polls posted by event sponsor MSNBC
• Placed a close third (18%) in a post-debate poll on the conservative Drudge Report
• Won an ABCNews.com online debate poll with 84%
• Won a C-SPAN online GOP candidate poll with 69%
• Became the third most-mentioned person in the blogosphere, beating out Paris Hilton, according to the reputable Technorati.com
• Produced a YouTube.com video that was ranked the 8^th most popular overall video, and the most-viewed political video
• Was featured, by popular demand, on the front of Digg.com
• Generated so many bulletin posts on MySpace.com that the site owner News Corp. blocked all additional posts about Dr. Paul
• Became a "most searched" term on Google and Yahoo!
• Saw a quadrupling of daily visitors to RonPaul2008.com

"These figures speak for themselves," said campaign chairman Kent Snyder. "Ron Paul has quickly become a strong contender for the GOP nomination because of his powerful message of freedom and limited government."

Breaking News

I thought this might be important in light of the ever-widening (except scope of reporting) outreach of the tainted pet food recall.


Bulletin from yahoo health.

Dear Cheryl Koch M.S, R.D.,

Certainly this has been a momentous news day, your article being the icing on the proverbial cake. Since you were likely busy slaving over what must have been massive intellectual peaks to write such substantive material, there’s little doubt that you didn’t have time to learn what I did today. So, to demonstrate my gratitude for this neurological manna from the heavens, allow me to reciprocate in what ways I can by sharing the things that I learned today. I know it’s not much, but it’s all I have.

--The earth in fact IS round, something you probably already knew. What I bet you weren’t aware of was that it floats through this stuff/thing called “space.” Yeah, I know. Heavy. Let it take a while to sink in, and if you’re so inclined we can get more into the subject later. I’m warning you, it’s big.

--The pope, rather than being the godfather over a cadre of pedophiles—no not all of them, but still, a whole fucking lot --(who it seems must have been regularly sharpening his teeth since his ascendance to the pope throne, and who also looks a bit more like Bela Lugosi every day), are you sitting down, is CATHOLIC.

--Paris Hilton and her retinue of drunken minor celebrity debutantes, it turns out, really do not matter. Whatsoever. I know, I couldn’t believe it either.

--The craziest item of the day is that the sun came up this morning. Who could’ve seen that one coming? I mean, Jesus, it had been dark for like, 8 hours. Good thing I decided not to lay that C-note down on the homeless guy who gave me 1000-1 on the reappearance of that insidious Global Warmer (and by Global Warmer, I mean Earth Killer).

I do have a couple questions in closing, though.

Do they actually pay you money for writing this, or are you being blackmailed? What was it? Cocaine and hermaphrodite midgets? You can tell us.

How does it make you feel to have sold your soul?

Yours in incredulousness and anger,

HH

Masturdebating

There are now less than 24 hours before folks begin breaking out the tequila and attempting to injure themselves with it while workers at the Corona bottling plant enjoy the beginnings of what I can only think to call the “surge” season. Frat boys and Paris-a-like’s rejoice. Begin your pilgrimages to the Fat Tuesday’s of the world, Cinco is nearly upon us.


The savages know it as Cinco de Mayo. Go crazy, spread liberally.

**********

Here are my hastily scrawled notes/thoughts while watching last night’s GOP debates online (I missed the first 15 mins), trying not to rave too much while on the girly chat with BG, cook dinner, and catch up on at least some of the news I haven’t had time to stay current with this week.

(this stuff took me a bit to translate, an unavoidable consequence of combining feverish speed with left-handedness)

--Am I watching a séance? These freaks will not stop invoking Reagan. Thankfully Ron Paul has avoided embarrassing himself by not doing so.

--Iran, scary, nuclear, nuclear, nuclear, jihad, global jhad, Hezbollah, Hamas, Iran, scary, imply 9/11, tragedy, scary, security, help Israel, enemies, allies, Iran scary, terrorist, terrorist, nuclear, nuclear, nuclear

--Romney really, really likes this War of Civilizations idea. His war boner is as big as McCain or Ghouliani’s—he just has better pleats in his slacks to obfuscate it. (the word “obfuscate” took the longest to translate this morning. On the page, it’s more like an “o” followed by some sort of mad foreign chicken scribble. It’s either “obfuscate” or I’ve begun writing “in tongues” due to unintentional fits of Holy Sprit drunkenness—Cinco IS coming, you know.)

--Brownback—**make turd joke on upcoming post** (how anyone can hear that name, know anything about the guy, and NOT think about some variation of the stinky brown matter of our lives is beyond me. Juvenile? Perhaps. Don’t care.)

--Haven’t heard the word (or discussion of) habeas, rendition, wiretapping, or torture yet. Wonder how long the odds are I will hear all three, let alone any one discussed in any depth whatsoever? -

-Ghouliani (in particular, seem to love DBs) and everyone else jumping on National ID bandwagon. Paul (finally gets a few seconds) says opposite. Matthews gives Romney/Ghouliani a take-back freebie. Both respond, Oh, I was talking about only illegal aliens. Oh, I thought you knew that, that I/we made that clear. **Christ, what a farce this is**

Those are my notes. Like I said, there was a lot going on. Ron Paul got screwed, which was not unexpected, as he is/was the only thinking individual on that stage. The “debate” was at the same time and in equal parts both sad and frightening to watch in all of its farcical glory.

Per usual, Glenn Greenwald has some great observations of his own.

**********

And in “GW throws people a bone” headlines, he is threatening to veto the new Hate Crimes Bill (HR 1592). As much as I despise the guy, this is a veto I’m cheering, for what I hope would be obvious reasons. One has only to look over at Britain to see what kind of politically correct neo-lib hell this bill will eventually rain down on our heads. If Bush is lying (which is certainly not out of the realm of distinct possibility) and does sign this bill, we will be a much larger step closer to true thought-crime.

I can hear the confusion now. How in the world do I rave against Bush and most everything GOP/fundamental Christianist but say that I cheer him in this spot?

Herein lies my biggest frustration with a lot of the lefty blogs/news orgs I read. All of these otherwise intelligent people (and I’m really referring to sides of the fence here) are still locked into an idiotic all-or-nothing mindset. Rather than rationally think for themselves, they latch on to simplistic logic combined with their vehement “I hate that guy” attitude (which many times is in large part justified) to fuel them in their primarily emotion-based contrary actions whether or not those actions make any real sense. In no way does my support for this veto mean that I support any sort of religious or sexual orientation motivated violence, although I’m sure that many will gloss right over these words and accuse me of the same.

What violent crime isn’t motivated by hate on some level? If someone is beaten to death with this law in place, will the murderer in question suddenly be required to argue that he did so “dispassionately” in order to avoid extra years in prison, or, when it comes out that the victim was a Greco Indian gay tranny wiccan are the extra years simply tacked on automatically?

Regardless, stupid people everywhere will breathe a sigh of relief that another “hateful monster” was put away thanks to the new Hate Crime Laws and its fantastic protections. Unfortunately the Matthew Shepards of the world will still be dead, more will continue piling up, and nobody will acknowledge it, other than to scream for still tougher Hate Crime Bills and more stringent gun control. Politicians, whores that they are, will continue with the same promises of results via “tough new laws” that they “guarantee” will not affect your Free Speech Rights.

If you believe that the practical application of this will not affect Free Speech, I’ve got a lucrative real estate deal you’ll probably find intriguing, as well. Again, go see how the folks over in Britain are doing with hate crime laws and study the reality of just how unaffected their free speech is. For god’s sake, they’ve got frickin’ special police squads that go “undercover” in restaurants trying to bust people for “hate speech”. The War on Hate seems like a load of fun for the average Briton.

It is in this way that, just like with War on Drugs/Terror/etc., the “War on Hate” will become institutionalized with bigger budgets, louder rhetoric, and even less favorable results. These laws won’t breed less hate, they will breed more because every single group, large and small, will be fighting with the others trying to gain the title of “most victimized”, thus gaining the greater share of Federal assistance and favor.

How many black males, battered housewives, and bashed gays (who know from experience that law enforcement will provide them little or no help, and likely the opposite) will we have to find out about before people start realizing that the government can’t, won’t, and doesn’t care to “take care” of anyone but itself? Remember this: The local police in Virginia were ordered by the Feds to stand down and not rush the building and interrupt the psychotic on a killing spree.

Laws like this are just another example of less power for the individual/citizenry and more for the Federal apparatus-a bad thing for thinking people anywhere, regardless of race, creed, gender, or political bent.

Not a fun thought to deal with, to be sure, but one that must be nonetheless confronted with some reality and clear thinking lest we become still further bogged down in the politically correct machine, a place where the chance of extricating ourselves from it become slim to none.

**********

Here are a few other items that should have made big news, but somehow managed to escape the vigilant watch of our national corporate media, who evidently don’t find these issues to be “issues”.

All Telcos will be immune for helping wield the police state hammer. Justice, baby. Not only blind, but evidently retarded as well. Plus, even though they’ve supposedly “shut it down”, the government still says it can spy on you whenever. The words "brazen" and "flouting" seem appropriate here.

US and EU agree to single market. As for US media reporting on this, it was VERY scant. That must be because it’s not important, right? Your new bosses in Brussels will be kind. They promise.

And lastly, another look to Britain—where it’s becoming easier and easier to punish truth. Secret trials...delicious.

That’s it. Now go get your Cinco on. Cheers.

How did you get this number?

How goes it folks?

It’s been said that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. I wonder why they never mention the fact that it also makes Jack cranky and exhausted.

Oh, right. I’m here to speak about focusing on the positive.

Today at work I received a phone call from a lady in Finance (o god, an accountant), who was evidently having some sort of voicemail issue. Shoving aside the discussion on how and why Enterprise VoIP (in addition to telecommunications systems and companies that must be dealt with in relation to said systems, in general) makes me want to shoot myself in the face, I’ll simply make note of the way this lady commenced an unstoppable blathering as soon as I answered the phone.

I’m not sure how widespread this is in general, but I’m increasingly finding that intra-company calls don’t have near the decorum they had even six months ago. Is it not only customary, but courteous in general to identify yourself over the phone to someone with whom you DO NOT have regular dealings? Not only do these people in question increasingly fail to say who they are, but also display a tendency to immediately begin demanding things (as soon as I courteously identify myself).

Although, it does seem like most of these types are the ones who specifically should not even have my direct line telephone number in the first place. Note to self: Yell at boss AGAIN at the next opportunity to stop giving out our number willy-nilly and encouraging these people to just “give us a call”. Regardless, if things keep going as they have, I’m going to have no choice but to up the intensity level of my telephonic rebukes. And I mean no choice. Things are just escaping my lips before I even know they’re gone, which brings me back to the Finance creature.

At long last I managed to stem her oral diuretics long enough to get the info necessary to pull documentation and see who was working on her issue. I began to read through the notes to get some idea of what was really happening. The tech in question had “fixed” the problem that was never really a problem. This was a PEBKAC* issue. Right when I started to try and tell her about it, she received an email stating that her issue had been resolved.

*Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair

Of course, she, being from Finance, kept informing me in no uncertain terms that the problem was NOT fixed and that so-and-so (who I am evidently supposed to know, more poor etiquette) tried to call and couldn’t leave a voicemail.

Did it ever occur to you that the person who tried to call you may be every bit as, if not more, empty-headed than you are!?!?

That’s what I screamed in my head, not out loud. I was still hanging on but only by a thread. I wanted only to explain in one simple sentence that I would have the tech call her when he returned from his meeting. No joy, the oral diarrhea was flowing once more.

Since I had been interrupted from other work by taking the call in the first place, I told her I was reading more notes while I worked on the issue she originally interrupted, making her wait. She didn’t notice, of course, opting instead to go into a holding pattern of “pleasant talk.”

“How is your day going?”

I’m sorry, did you just ask me something and then actually stop making noise?

“It’s not bad (till you called me- be amicable, be amicable), you know, for being at work. (I wouldn’t really say I’ve been missing it, Bob)

“Well, at least you’re getting a paycheck, right?”

“Uhhhhh, yeaaaaah.

Thanks, lady. What a new and positive revelation sure to add meaning and uplift me as I go about the rest of my day. Thanks for “Paying it Forward” or whatever the fuck it is you’re doing.

“I just always try to focus on the positive”

(I wish I was podcasting this, so I could do the voice. Ewww, the whiny, trying to compensate for inner misery by erecting a shield of pop-religio-psychobabble-positivity bullshit to cover it in the hopes that everyone will think she's just as happy as she's trying to put on, voice)

“What does it profit a man if he gains all the world’s riches, but loses his soul?”

Whoa! Where did that come from?

Dead silence, and that is not an exaggeration-she stopped cold. The only other word out of her mouth for the (quite shortened) remainder of our conversation was, “okay.” Telling the story makes my head flash with visions of her still at the desk holding the phone, blinking, these 11 hours later.

Funny, yes, but also slightly disconcerting was my own Hershey Squirt of the mouth. One minute I’m trying to maintain cordiality in the face of all that is awful, and the next finds me tossing a Scriptural/philosophical brick on a woman who, judging from her ability to work a telephone, likely struggles in fathoming the intricate mysteries of preparing Lean Cuisine dinners.

Other questions/remarks that flashed through my mind, pre-Jesus Tourettes:

-You must know about “The Secret”.
-Do you know who moved my cheese?
-Have you ever been to Guyana?
-Tell me about your latest scrapbooking project.
-Yeah, I read Tony Robbins once, too. The scene went bad when I mixed in some Carlton Sheets and woke up three days later with a “For Rent” sign stuck in my ass.

Alanis stock on the rise

Awesome.

The government wouldn't lie

would they?

The shock! The horror!

They only lied because they thought we needed it. They look out for us.

Take a moment to read Glenn Greenwald's post today.

The Pat Tillman and Jessica Lynch frauds.

As well, here's a piece from Presidential Candidate Ron Paul:

Government Cannot Protect Us

It's beautiful new money!

More material to not take seriously. There's no North American Union. There's no such thing as the Amero. Quit talking crazy! There's no engineered implosion of the dollar. They wouldn't do that--the dollar can totally kick ass on all the other currencies, just like we're doing to the terrorists in Iraq.

What?

**listens in earpiece***

Oh.

Folks, allow me to apologize and correct myself. It appears my previous statements have been... inaccurate. The dollar, it turns out, is going away but is not being "imploded" as many crude and impolite people like to assert. Rather, it is being "phased out" to make way for newer, prettier money. In fact, hold on....

***listens in earpiece***

....yep, it's just in...scientific studies are just now being released to Wall Street and the public that, dear god, there may be a virus on the loose in the old dirty, germ-filled, dollars that everyone is carrying around. We don't have any word yet as to why the terrorists did this, but authorities are acting swiftly. The president has called together an emergency session of Plunge Protection Team: Extreme Recovery who have been planning for years, it seems, for just such a possibility. Wow, I don't know about you, but I just sleep better at night knowing that there are people this smart looking out for me.

Moving on in a continuation of the previous news exclusive, the solution is called the Amero--and here's how much these guys are looking out for us. They knew that if the day ever came, like I'm getting word it has, that the terrorists attacked our money then we would need new money. The transition would be a rough one, so they built features in to make the transition easier. Brand new tracking technology for your security, and it's prettier!

All authorities and Homeland Volunteer Deputies will be carrying around receptacles to help you protect yourself by getting rid of your cash and will give you a voucher for the new and improved Amero. Get there fast because there aren't many bills to go around. This is a feature of the PPT: ER progressocentric pragmatacists plan so that there will be less cash for terrorists to attack. If you move too slow, you'll be stuck with electronic Ameros which aren't nearly as neat but are very virus free.

**begin ticker bar scroll**

The Department of Homeland Security has issued a warning that all tainted money must be purged from the system and that any US currency not turned in to a Homeland Security Authorized Drop Station within 72 hours will be considered "terrorist weaponry". In accordance with Homeland Security's new "zero tolerance" policy, all those carrying such weaponry will be terminated with extreme prejudice for the greater security of the United States people.

**end ticker bar scroll**
**loop**

We are going to be the envy of the globe with the new Amero. There's even talk in the wind of putting an American Idol on the front of the $1000. I didn't tell you? Of course there will be thousand dollar bills, is that not the coolest thing you've ever heard? There is already an upgrade scheduled to incorporate the addition of 10,000 bills in 6-8 months. That should silence the traitorous outcry of the freakish few that said complete privatization was a bad idea. If there weren't corporate efficiency, we wouldn't even be thinking of a 10,000 bill yet. Hah! Those coservoliberals always make me laugh.

Everyone is going to be rich! Eat me Bill Gates, I'm a billionnare too!

FoTwenty

Not to be confused with the "fif" of May. One two three fo FiiiiiiF!

My dad used to always like saying, "The days go slow, the years quick." I'll admit it--I also like saying it. However wise and thoughtful it may or may not sound or be, it certainly feels wise and thoughtful when you say it, not to mention apt thanks in no small part to the largely oppressive grind of the lifeless corporate slog. Thinking about it just now, it occurred to me that I haven't said it for quite some time because the days are disappearing faster than a line of coke in front Rick James.

Seriously, what the fuck happened to this week, this month, and for that matter, the last six months? Good Christ.

I currently have an alien growing in my head, specifically in the left sinus cavity. Although I can't confirm the presence of an actual alien embryo in there, I can confirm the presence and constant flow of a grotesque and very alien amniotic fluid. Copious, lingering amounts.

The Alien Pregnancy Preparation Spore (tm) originated in my (formerly) ghetto-ass "deck", which I'm only now starting to realize is really just a miniature infected starship that bolted itself to my house and began peeling and cracking until such time I could no longer help but start with the scraper and wire brush. Lulled as I was into complacency (with respect to alien infection) coupled with an ignorance of the "Valley Fever" that seems a product of breathing the dust here, I brazenly thought breathing protection unecessary.

Now that I seem to be at the peak of alien amniotic production, I find myself wondering if something is going to fly from the trash can, attach to my face and start slamfucking my nose--awesome, then I'll be pissed off and alien pregnant for real.

I'm finally done repainting the starship. Maybe now whatever vicious life-form gave me this horror of an infection will take pity and give me an antidote.


Hey, it's less ghetto than it used to be. You know, they is some po' folks in the world. Can I get fired for that? No way, dude. I've got a patriotic soccerball.

Got a new SLR, mostly for Rach. Been playing with that, as well.



I know it's panzified to include dog pictures on one's blog, and it's largely true. But I don't care who you are, that's a goddamn cute grumpy dog.

Recently Completed Reading:

War is a Racket: Anti War Classic by America's Most Decorated General--Smedley D. Butler
Jim Tucker's Bilderberg Diaries--Jim Tucker (AFP)
The Great Shark Hunt: Strange Tales From A Strange Time (The Gonzo Papers, Volume I)--Hunter S Thompson

Currently Reading:

Rule By Secrecy--Jim Marrs
Murder in Samarkand--Craig Murray

On Deck:

Songs of the Doomed: More Notes on the Death of the American Dream--Hunter S. Thompson
Generation of Swine: Gonzo Papers Vol II--Hunter S. Thompson
Confessions of an Economic Hitman--John Perkins
Crossing the Rubicon--Michael C. Ruppert

So that's that, for now. Time to celebrate FoTwenty.

Who am kidding? I already started--cheers.

The back and forth continues....

“If this ain't the pot calling the kettle black. Especially for somone who bitches and moans constantly about his country. Your "America Sucks and is to blame for everything bad in the world" is simply disgusting.”

I don’t really get how the pot/kettle thing is applicable here, but I’ve got a seriously nasty head cold/bronchial thing happening right now, so maybe I’ll get it tomorrow. Anyway…

"America Sucks and is to blame for everything bad in the world" seems a pretty broad brush to paint my words with, but I’ll try and clarify. America does not suck, it is the American establishment machine, and particularly the people up top holding the reigns that “suck”, and very unfortunately, they have “sucked” for quite some time. America and its people are different and separate from the bloated and overreaching monstrosity that is the current Federal government. An overreaching and intrusive government is one of the main reasons this country and its Constitution were brought into being. Large centralized government is intrinsically an anathema to free people.

“Now you want to play the moral authority card by stating that you know more because you were in the military (which you are ashamed of according to a previous post) and having been in the Middle East. Yeah, that makes you the expert. None of the things I read can possibly be true.”

If you can find the post where I said that I was ashamed of being in the military, I would like to have a link to it, and when I get that link I will immediately recant such words. What I believe you are referring to is (and this had to be over a year ago or close to it) when I discovered Baghdad Burning and was shocked as I caught a glimpse of what things were really like as opposed to assuming everything was just fine, not worrying about it, and reveling in the “shock and awe” afterglow. What I said at the time was something along the lines of “I am embarrassed to call myself an American right now”, never that I was ashamed to have served in the military. I spent my entire life from age 6 onward preparing for a career in the military (and no, that is not an exaggeration). A period of adolescent “idiocy” compelled me to turn down the USAF Academy appointment that I had virtually locked, only to join the enlisted ranks a couple of years later anyway. I mention this bit of personal history only to further illustrate that I take the whole “duty to God and country” thing seriously, coming from a Midwest republican Christian fundy background as I do, where Reagan is god and pre-marital sex is strictly verboten).

If a family member, friend, or loved one does something that embarrasses you, can you not be embarrassed or ashamed but love them nonetheless? Same principle applies here. There are unspeakable atrocities being perpetrated in the name of the American people—I fail to see how we cannot be embarrassed and angered by such things.

Also, I have not just “been” to the Middle East, I have spent some notable time there—nearly 2.5 years in total. You’re right that doesn’t make me an expert. What is does do (grammar?), however, or should IMO, is add some measure of validity. You haven’t been crouched in a bunker (because crazy-ass Saddam is launching scuds at you) with the feeling of an ostrich egg in your stomach, in full chem-gear with a gas mask in your hand at the ready, wondering. Wondering just how in the hell you ended up 3000 miles away from your family and friends, and why. Wondering what they are doing, if they are thinking about you right now. Wondering about your girl, and hoping that she still thinks of you, even though you know in your heart it’s more likely she’s moved on and is busy getting slam-fucked by someone else as you cling to slim chance that the letter you were expecting just got lost in the crappy and inefficient military mail system. Wondering why you never thought more seriously about the very real possibility of your own death, and why you never thought more seriously about your life. (I think I’ve said all of this before, as well, but it bears repeating)

The above and a couple of other occasions were the only times I was in the proximity of any tangible danger. It was only a very short glimpse, 1/1000 of what is experienced by our soldiers (and Iraqis) every single day, but a real glimpse nonetheless, which means that I don’t need to be an “expert” to be able to say how it is to be a soldier acting as fodder for a tragically brutal and failed foreign policy. If there’s anything in the world I am certain of it is this—these guys don’t want your chest-beating, they don’t want to see or hear about our cars and trucks festooned with Chinese slave-labor manufactured yellow ribbons, and they don’t want a rote “thanks for your service” out of everyone’s largely insincere pie-hole.

They want to come home. That’s the support they want (and deserve) from America—not elective and illegal wars planned by academics and elites who couldn’t give half a damn and administered by the same.

“No, the "diplomats" from Iran couldn't have possibly been doing anything wrong. They were invited. That makes it all good. So if you invite your neighbor into your house and he starts to steal things when you are not around or harasses your family, it is ok because, hey, you invited him in and he would do that.”

Either your first few sentences don’t match up with that analogy, or this head-cold thing is worse than I thought. What did they steal? Are you under the impression that we (US) invited them in? That’s the only condition where I can make any sense of this, and that condition is incorrect. Just in case, though, I’ll restate that they were there at the invitation of the Iraqi government. The free Iraqi government. The democratic Iraqi government. The empowered Iraqi government. The Iraqi government to whom we supposedly handed the reigns quite a while ago, when we would be taking a step back into a training and support role.

Here is a good (but long) synopsis of the whole IED/EFP push (all thoroughly documented and notated) trying to start another war. Take special note of the section titled “THE IRA CONNECTION” particularly the part about the IRA getting the tech from the British government. Documentation on this can be found in a variety of places.

The kidnapping of their diplomats was the actual “act of war” in this case. Actual diplomats or not, they had the credentials and were there at the behest of the Iraqis to talk of reconstruction and efforts toward more stability. And why shouldn’t they be? These people will be neighbors long after we are gone, to say nothing of their religious ties.

“No, I am wrong because I supposedly support "confirmed liars and criminals". What lies? You are going give the Bush lied people died bullshit line? Two investigative committees found that to be untrue. It has been proven that they had the same info that Clinton had. Because you don't like them, they are liars and criminals. Talk about being open minded.”

What lies? What lies? Really? Okay, here’s an easy and quick one: Yellowcake.

These people all took oaths to protect the Constitution, and yet they have done nothing but do their dead-level best to tear it down, piece by piece. Habeas Corpus, gone—Jose Padilla might have something to say about that, if he survives. Our entire Bill of Rights for the most part, gone. Ask Imus how his free speech is doing these days (I don’t like the guy, but this latest is patently ridiculous).

What investigative committees are you speaking of? Is this one of the instances where the rubber-stampers in Congress let them “investigate” themselves and called it good?

And why on earth do you keep bringing up Clinton? Seriously dude, it’s like you’re a robot sometimes. If I didn’t know any better, I would swear that you’ve never read a single thing I’ve written. Where have I ever written that I’m a big Clinton fan, and when have I ever defended him? The reality is that I’ve been quite the opposite where the Clintons are concerned—they are both criminals in their own right. The fact that you’re still flailing with partisan excuses and arguments makes me think you’re not really paying much attention and that I’m absolutely wasting my time with this, rather than just “mostly.” I’m not even a little bit partisan, no matter how much you may try to wish it upon me. Partisan politics is nothing less than pure theatre, served up for the intentionally dumbed-down population at large.

I’m also not sure what this “the same info Clinton had” stuff is all about. It sounds like you’re mixing your Iraq scandals with the administration attempts to whitewash 9/11.

“Maybe I wish I could be as lofty in my thinking attitudes. Must be nice to act like people do not want to destroy your way of living. To act like terrorism doesn't happen. To think Iran is not waging a war. No, the weapons the army finds are not proof. That their intel is wrong. That the government is the boogie man out to get me.”

Why can’t you “be as lofty”, what’s preventing you? Do you have a solemn duty to your betters to remain frightened and cowering at the terrorist ghost? I never stated that terrorism doesn’t happen, just not in the way or to the extent that you’re led to believe. Here is a bit from WaPo 2005 about how many terror incidents occur yearly. Now fire up your googles and search for stats on the worldwide number of car fatality incidents every year, or malpractice, or cancer. And fancy this, as of 2005, the State Department will no longer be publishing terror statistics. I’m sure it’s for the same right and true reasons (which the unwashed aren’t allowed to know) that the Federal Reserve no longer publishes current M3 data.

Whole books have been written on just facets of the subject of terrorism, so I obviously can’t comprehensively do it justice on these pages, and the fact is, there is still a great deal for me to learn.

On the assertion that it is Iran who is waging the war, I refer you to the IED document above. Just because the army or the government says something does not necessarily make it so. They have lied countless times before and are still doing so today.
If I may suggest, you could start by watching Terrorstorm, which lays a good historical foundation. Don’t just take its presented info at face value, look it up as I did. The history is there, which begs the obvious question—Why are you so insistent on having such blanket and unquestioning faith in something that has failed you (and us) so many times?

“Maybe you need to wake up. Stop watching Olberman and appreciate what you have instead of living in misery. Life is too short to be constantly bitching about nothing.”

I don’t watch Olbermann anymore because I got rid of the television months ago. And what in the world is wrong with Olbermann? How exactly has he been inaccurate or what has been misrepresented in his reporting and commentary? He seems to be one of the few journalists left in existence that still retains some real integrity when it comes to reporting what goes on in the world. I would add Lou Dobbs to that list, as well.

Also, I do not live in misery. In fact, I can honestly say that I’m happier now than I’ve been in some time (due in large part to expelling the television). A bit of the veil has been lifted, and although I may not like much of what I see, it’s a damn sight better than living in the manipulated cloud that has obscured much of my life. Since then the damnedest thing has happened. Not only do I appreciate what I have, I treasure much, much more. Sure, I bitch a lot concerning both the meaningful and the inane, but that’s what I do. It’s what I’ve (for the most part) done since I started this thing, and it’s what I will continue to do no matter how much sniping I have to endure.

******

Quickly, concerning Al-Jazeera and your second comment responding to BG—Al-Jazeera was started by a grant from the emir of Qatar. Qatar is an emirate that we have good relations with, and in fact used as one of our launch points during the 2003 invasion. You stated that they (Al-Jazeera) have been “repeatedly accused of terrorist links and putting forth well-known terrorist opinions.”

You’re right, they have been accused to terrorist links, but nothing more specific than that. This is a very consistent trend with our current government, in that there are a great many accusations and a great deal of very loud rhetoric, but specifics and proof never seem to be forthcoming, and are ever in short supply.

It’s also worth pointing out the danger in the last part of your statement, which I would like to get further into at a later date, specifically the “putting forth well-known terrorist opinions.” What is a terrorist opinion, exactly? Such a thing could be applied by whomever is in power to punish most anything they did not like, wanted to suppress, etc, as we have seen and are seeing. When you start talking about things like “terrorist opinions”, free speech flies right out the window, and is that, or is that not what America is supposed to be all about and supportive of? Al-jazeera’s biggest crime in the eyes of this administration was to take and publish graphic pictures of what was happening in the war which ran completely contrary to their faux Jessica Lynch rah rah look the war is great PR campaigns (Jessica Lynch herself has gone public attesting to the fact that it was all PR and propaganda for continued war support, while several others related to the situation have coincidentally become very dead).

Another appropriate related question to ask yourself would be, if our actions in the Middle East are so very just, why does the government work so hard to conceal its reality, to the point they freak out at pictures of flag-draped coffins? The answer to me is obvious. They want to keep reality as far in the hazy distance as possible, and keep you thinking about all its ramifications as little as possible. As an adult, to have reality and truth deliberately kept from you as though you were some small and dumb child should be insulting to your core.

*****

Now it’s your turn, as questions contained within my first response thus far remain unaddressed. I ask a lot of questions, and I certainly don’t expect a long and researched answer to each and every one of them (unless you want to, of course). The question that I primarily would like to see addressed is how or why you so doggedly support GW when the fact that he referred to the Constitution as “a goddamned piece of paper” is well documented, and his policies and actions are consistent with this view?

It is my belief that anyone who loves their country and their freedom should find such a sentiment repulsive, and I am interested in your honest thoughts. Also, I would be interested in any answers you might have on the double standard questions concerning Iran in my previous response, as questions relating to that went unaddressed, as well.

And yes, a drink in Vegas will be fantastic, assuming we get there (we should, it’s just not 100% yet)

Big ups to Daddy--bringin’ things into focus at just the right time. Given what I’m about to write it seems reasonable to guess that what I got out of his post is likely much different that what others may have pulled out of it. That being said…..

I was going to try and scratch out a quick post today, maybe a few news articles that caught my attention and my thoughts on them, or maybe a quick bit about different things I found to be particularly odd or annoying this week--the usual tripe. It should go without saying that I would have been struggling throughout the thing to hold back another inanity about how busy things are. No shit. So is everyone else. Say something fucking interesting.

Then, taking a break from scraping and sanding my ghetto-ass neglected “deck” (which, in my defense, was like that when I bought the place) I popped into the house for some water, a sit, and a check of the mail. The mail had a surprise.

“I knew you would be so sad in your predictions about action against Iran. Even as Iran continues to wage war on the US. Supplying weapons, training, and taking hostages.

No, those Iranians are innocent.

For one that blames the media on a lot of items, you seem to fall in line with Al Jazeera pretty quickly in spreading the propaganda.”

Guess who?

Scraping and sanding the deck has been postponed to a different time. Clear my schedule and let me get at this.

I’m not sure whether to be angry or utterly despondent. More the latter than the former, I suppose. There’s anger that I’m forced to deal with such imbecilic vitriol, but more utterly despondent that it exists so pervasively in the first place. Let’s start with the first sentence.

“I knew you would be so sad in your predictions about action against Iran.”

First, let me say, how very kind of you to revel in my (assumed) sadness.

Second, let me point out that I did not “predict” anything with certainty. What I try to do, and did, and will continue to do, is point out whatever I see that shows how very close we keep creeping towards this new disaster. I never deigned to set a date certain, only point out likely time periods and precipitating events. I still am very much of the mind that we edge closer every day towards an attack against Iran, as little or nothing so far has slowed the direction of the grand neoconservative plans to plunge that entire area of the world into a chaotic stone age once again. It is still very likely that we will be attacking Iran in 2007, and likely no later than the end of September if things continue on their present course.

Which brings me directly to Third. If I am wrong about the “predictions” above, then I will not be sad, just as I am in no way sad right now about not being at war with yet another nation. Every week that goes by basically finds me ecstatic that we HAVEN’T invaded Iran because I’m actually aware of the likely fallout resulting from such an action, both literal and figurative. Why on earth would I be joyful that a prediction for war came true? Do you think me some kind of fucking monster?

I doubt it, only because someone using such “nyah, nyah” thumb-on-the-nose fifth-grade playground tactics doesn’t usually get that far down the thought path. It is the phraseology of someone who has not only NOT been there, but the words of someone who hasn’t made any effort to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, as it were. In short, it is the language of the ignorant.

And speaking of….

“Even as Iran continues to wage war on the US. Supplying weapons, training, and taking hostages.”

It’s difficult to even know where to begin with this one. I’ll leave alone the inherent asininity of Iran waging war on the US, as though they are the aggressor and we are merely innocent bystanders caught up in an unfortunate mess we had no hand in creating.

Let’s say that what you are asserting is completely correct and true, in which case I refer back to the “mile in someone else’s shoes” point.

It has been reported on for some time that for at least the last year, the US has been funding and training terrorist groups (again, MEK is a good example of this, a group that even now is on the State Department list of known terrorist groups—something I’ve mentioned several times before) in southern Iran to wreak havoc and further destabilize the country and situation. The special-ops guys also haven’t been left out of the cross-border fun either, as they’ve been making plenty of incursions of their own.

Let’s also not forget snatching diplomats in Irbil (in country at the invitation of the “democratic” Shiite Iraqi government, who have a great many natural ties to Iranian Shiites), alongside various other assorted kidnappings, extraordinary renditions, and assassinations. Diplomacy? Fuck that. Lying and promoting the maximum amount of fearful hysteria and violence is the way the US does things now.

If you are Iran, do you just quietly take the US bullying lying down? Something to ponder. If our roles were reversed and Iranian intelligence agencies had fomented the overthrow of Truman in ’53 and had him publicly executed (as we did with the democratically elected Mosadeq) installing in his stead the brutal Shah and his SAVAK secret police who’s reign of terror on the population lasted for many, many years, don’t you think US citizens would be harboring a great deal of animosity and don’t you think they’d be right in doing so? Why is it okay for us, but not for them?

Did you know about these things? If not, do these things being pointed out give you any pause whatsoever or have you already dismissed them out of hand as untrue? Your continued silly comments answer that sufficiently, I think.

“For one that blames the media on a lot of items, you seem to fall in line with Al Jazeera pretty quickly in spreading the propaganda.”

Well, I cited several sources in that last post, but none of them were Al-Jazeera who is, by the way, a well-regarded international media outlet. I’m curious what it is exactly that makes Al-Jazeera such horrible “propaganda”. Is it the scary Arabic name or is it just that King George doesn’t like it, which must mean it is evil? They are actually one of the few places that have done any real war reporting, which is to say, showing pictures of the death that is its reality. We can’t have that. After all, if people faced uncensored pictures of elective wars they might not be so keen to allow their governments to wage said wars.

For an outlet to report on an event is not propaganda. What should concern you is that dead Anna Nicole’s baby daddy saga received ludicrous amounts of coverage and airtime while this large protest was barely mentioned in our national media. Kind of like the Pentagon protest in March. Kind of like the massive worldwide protests, pre-invasion 2003.

And just what is the propaganda you refer to when you accuse me of “spreading the propaganda”?

The fact that you continue to line up behind the confirmed liars and criminals that currently lead our government is shocking and frightening. The unbridled support of a leader who has referred to our Constitution, the basis of our national existence and all we purport to stand for, as “a goddamn piece of paper” simply defies explanation. You rally behind the denigration of integrity by our leaders and cheer their systematic elevation and continuation of rampant deception and corruption.

And you want to try and imply that I am somehow the dupe? If so, then perhaps you can hold forth as to how and why I am wrong rather than simply declaring me so.

Wake up, man. Enough with the juvenile Bill O’Reilly flavor comments. They only serve to illustrate your very shallow understanding of not only current events, but history as well. Frankly, I’m pretty goddamn sick of hawkish and fantasy-based jackassery from people like you who haven’t spent a single day in the military or the Middle East. You’re a continuing insult to the people who have and are.

Indeed, the humanity

"My belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators."--Dick Cheney

"I think the Iraqi people owe the American people a huge debt of gratitude."--George W. Bush

Photo from IHT/(Ali Abu Shish/Reuters)

Irony at a base level. Oh wait, I'm sorry, those are terrorists. I forgot.

Assist me in speculating

Tomorrow will be the last day of another training stint for work. Devices are upgrading and changing, so we gotta learn the new ones they're bringing in. Always boring but better than actually working.

And there's this guy in the class...

Good guy, nice guy, normal guy, smart guy, whatever people say when they don't lean one way or the other. But I did notice today, that when he's looking at the screen on his laptop he begins rocking, back and forth, like he's suddenly caught in the grip of a strange autistic impulse.

Seriously, it's the damnedest thing I've ever seen.

If someone talks to him and he looks one way or the other, the rocking stops immediately. As soon as his head swivels "eyes front" the rocking begins again, immediately. It is fascinating to watch, like a human metronome.

I'm rocking back and forth just thinking about it.

Has anyone else in the IT environment ever seen anything like this? If so, what is it? If not, whaddya think this is?

I'm completely distracted by it, mostly just because I can't ask him why the hell a laptop screen makes him rock. (I don't really know him other than his name is familiar within the context of my massive email load, which is 150 or so/day on weekdays--rigoddamndiculous.)

What if he's some kind retarded disabled handi-capable savant? What the hell would I say then? Do I fire off a range of quickly mumbled condolences in an effort to cover the spectrum of apology with the floundering hope of hitting on the correct apologetic sentiment, averting disaster and hopefully managing not to get sued and/or fired? Or, are congratulations the proper reaction these days? Congratulations! You'll never be fired (like I'm sure to be now) for implying that someone might be a retard, no matter what you say!

What if he has no idea he does it? That will only a) make him feel bad, b) piss him off (perhaps getting me punched), c) make him worried that he might be retarded, or d) all of the above. Somehow I don't think he'd be receptive to any proffered explanation that I'm only genuinely curious.

All I'm sayin' is that rocking compulsively back and forth in front of a glowing screen is fucking weird. Is this compulsion pre-existing or is it developing? So many questions...and yes, I'm aware that it's really not my business. I don't care, I still want to know.

Since I likely can't know, I am stuck with speculation. Help me out.

(perhaps I should consult The Bracelet, as he is a veteran retardation assessor)

FBI Stops Real World Gambling (Updated with sentiment correction and apology)

Hey everyone, you're gonna love this.

It seems that the FBI has so successfully and thoroughly prosecuted US Anti-Gambling Laws, the only thing left to do is head to the Second Life virtual world to do some cracking down.

This had to have been Bill-O's idea. No one else is this retarded.

How does the phrase, "Orwellian fruitcake land" ring in your ears now?

I wonder what is next? Owners of gambling blogs will now be forced to register with the soft-Gestapo Homeland Security, as gambling is considered to be suspicious activity which might provide leads in helping to fight the GWOT, as opposed to the GWOVT (virtual terror) that is just getting underway.

Pass it on.

UPDATE: Oh hell, I knew this was bound to happen sooner or later. Too much speed reading on my part and I overlooked an important part of an article. Apologies to all, and thanks to Al for pointing out what I should have seen from the start.

From the article--

"SecondLife has said that it is aware of the FBI visit, and that it has sought guidance on virtual gaming activity in Second Life but had not yet received clear rules from US authorities."

Second Life called them in as Sir Al has pointed out. Now I'm annoyed at Second Life, even though I understand the reasoning behind them doing this. But that's not even really it. I'm really just annoyed that this is even an issue.

I hate fucking up. Again, apologies to everyone for my hastiness, and you probably do not want to pass it on in this case, unless of course you would like to take the opportunity to laugh at me. You certainly wouldn't be unjustified for doing so in this case.

Technorati: Online Poker poker War on Terror FBI Police State Orwellian Legislating Morality degenerates nanny state

New LVV Politics content posted

And now, the crucifixion.

(Will return to the idiocy here soon--too many irons in the fire at the moment. Hope all is well with everyone reading this.)