It's beautiful new money!

More material to not take seriously. There's no North American Union. There's no such thing as the Amero. Quit talking crazy! There's no engineered implosion of the dollar. They wouldn't do that--the dollar can totally kick ass on all the other currencies, just like we're doing to the terrorists in Iraq.

What?

**listens in earpiece***

Oh.

Folks, allow me to apologize and correct myself. It appears my previous statements have been... inaccurate. The dollar, it turns out, is going away but is not being "imploded" as many crude and impolite people like to assert. Rather, it is being "phased out" to make way for newer, prettier money. In fact, hold on....

***listens in earpiece***

....yep, it's just in...scientific studies are just now being released to Wall Street and the public that, dear god, there may be a virus on the loose in the old dirty, germ-filled, dollars that everyone is carrying around. We don't have any word yet as to why the terrorists did this, but authorities are acting swiftly. The president has called together an emergency session of Plunge Protection Team: Extreme Recovery who have been planning for years, it seems, for just such a possibility. Wow, I don't know about you, but I just sleep better at night knowing that there are people this smart looking out for me.

Moving on in a continuation of the previous news exclusive, the solution is called the Amero--and here's how much these guys are looking out for us. They knew that if the day ever came, like I'm getting word it has, that the terrorists attacked our money then we would need new money. The transition would be a rough one, so they built features in to make the transition easier. Brand new tracking technology for your security, and it's prettier!

All authorities and Homeland Volunteer Deputies will be carrying around receptacles to help you protect yourself by getting rid of your cash and will give you a voucher for the new and improved Amero. Get there fast because there aren't many bills to go around. This is a feature of the PPT: ER progressocentric pragmatacists plan so that there will be less cash for terrorists to attack. If you move too slow, you'll be stuck with electronic Ameros which aren't nearly as neat but are very virus free.

**begin ticker bar scroll**

The Department of Homeland Security has issued a warning that all tainted money must be purged from the system and that any US currency not turned in to a Homeland Security Authorized Drop Station within 72 hours will be considered "terrorist weaponry". In accordance with Homeland Security's new "zero tolerance" policy, all those carrying such weaponry will be terminated with extreme prejudice for the greater security of the United States people.

**end ticker bar scroll**
**loop**

We are going to be the envy of the globe with the new Amero. There's even talk in the wind of putting an American Idol on the front of the $1000. I didn't tell you? Of course there will be thousand dollar bills, is that not the coolest thing you've ever heard? There is already an upgrade scheduled to incorporate the addition of 10,000 bills in 6-8 months. That should silence the traitorous outcry of the freakish few that said complete privatization was a bad idea. If there weren't corporate efficiency, we wouldn't even be thinking of a 10,000 bill yet. Hah! Those coservoliberals always make me laugh.

Everyone is going to be rich! Eat me Bill Gates, I'm a billionnare too!

FoTwenty

Not to be confused with the "fif" of May. One two three fo FiiiiiiF!

My dad used to always like saying, "The days go slow, the years quick." I'll admit it--I also like saying it. However wise and thoughtful it may or may not sound or be, it certainly feels wise and thoughtful when you say it, not to mention apt thanks in no small part to the largely oppressive grind of the lifeless corporate slog. Thinking about it just now, it occurred to me that I haven't said it for quite some time because the days are disappearing faster than a line of coke in front Rick James.

Seriously, what the fuck happened to this week, this month, and for that matter, the last six months? Good Christ.

I currently have an alien growing in my head, specifically in the left sinus cavity. Although I can't confirm the presence of an actual alien embryo in there, I can confirm the presence and constant flow of a grotesque and very alien amniotic fluid. Copious, lingering amounts.

The Alien Pregnancy Preparation Spore (tm) originated in my (formerly) ghetto-ass "deck", which I'm only now starting to realize is really just a miniature infected starship that bolted itself to my house and began peeling and cracking until such time I could no longer help but start with the scraper and wire brush. Lulled as I was into complacency (with respect to alien infection) coupled with an ignorance of the "Valley Fever" that seems a product of breathing the dust here, I brazenly thought breathing protection unecessary.

Now that I seem to be at the peak of alien amniotic production, I find myself wondering if something is going to fly from the trash can, attach to my face and start slamfucking my nose--awesome, then I'll be pissed off and alien pregnant for real.

I'm finally done repainting the starship. Maybe now whatever vicious life-form gave me this horror of an infection will take pity and give me an antidote.


Hey, it's less ghetto than it used to be. You know, they is some po' folks in the world. Can I get fired for that? No way, dude. I've got a patriotic soccerball.

Got a new SLR, mostly for Rach. Been playing with that, as well.



I know it's panzified to include dog pictures on one's blog, and it's largely true. But I don't care who you are, that's a goddamn cute grumpy dog.

Recently Completed Reading:

War is a Racket: Anti War Classic by America's Most Decorated General--Smedley D. Butler
Jim Tucker's Bilderberg Diaries--Jim Tucker (AFP)
The Great Shark Hunt: Strange Tales From A Strange Time (The Gonzo Papers, Volume I)--Hunter S Thompson

Currently Reading:

Rule By Secrecy--Jim Marrs
Murder in Samarkand--Craig Murray

On Deck:

Songs of the Doomed: More Notes on the Death of the American Dream--Hunter S. Thompson
Generation of Swine: Gonzo Papers Vol II--Hunter S. Thompson
Confessions of an Economic Hitman--John Perkins
Crossing the Rubicon--Michael C. Ruppert

So that's that, for now. Time to celebrate FoTwenty.

Who am kidding? I already started--cheers.

The back and forth continues....

“If this ain't the pot calling the kettle black. Especially for somone who bitches and moans constantly about his country. Your "America Sucks and is to blame for everything bad in the world" is simply disgusting.”

I don’t really get how the pot/kettle thing is applicable here, but I’ve got a seriously nasty head cold/bronchial thing happening right now, so maybe I’ll get it tomorrow. Anyway…

"America Sucks and is to blame for everything bad in the world" seems a pretty broad brush to paint my words with, but I’ll try and clarify. America does not suck, it is the American establishment machine, and particularly the people up top holding the reigns that “suck”, and very unfortunately, they have “sucked” for quite some time. America and its people are different and separate from the bloated and overreaching monstrosity that is the current Federal government. An overreaching and intrusive government is one of the main reasons this country and its Constitution were brought into being. Large centralized government is intrinsically an anathema to free people.

“Now you want to play the moral authority card by stating that you know more because you were in the military (which you are ashamed of according to a previous post) and having been in the Middle East. Yeah, that makes you the expert. None of the things I read can possibly be true.”

If you can find the post where I said that I was ashamed of being in the military, I would like to have a link to it, and when I get that link I will immediately recant such words. What I believe you are referring to is (and this had to be over a year ago or close to it) when I discovered Baghdad Burning and was shocked as I caught a glimpse of what things were really like as opposed to assuming everything was just fine, not worrying about it, and reveling in the “shock and awe” afterglow. What I said at the time was something along the lines of “I am embarrassed to call myself an American right now”, never that I was ashamed to have served in the military. I spent my entire life from age 6 onward preparing for a career in the military (and no, that is not an exaggeration). A period of adolescent “idiocy” compelled me to turn down the USAF Academy appointment that I had virtually locked, only to join the enlisted ranks a couple of years later anyway. I mention this bit of personal history only to further illustrate that I take the whole “duty to God and country” thing seriously, coming from a Midwest republican Christian fundy background as I do, where Reagan is god and pre-marital sex is strictly verboten).

If a family member, friend, or loved one does something that embarrasses you, can you not be embarrassed or ashamed but love them nonetheless? Same principle applies here. There are unspeakable atrocities being perpetrated in the name of the American people—I fail to see how we cannot be embarrassed and angered by such things.

Also, I have not just “been” to the Middle East, I have spent some notable time there—nearly 2.5 years in total. You’re right that doesn’t make me an expert. What is does do (grammar?), however, or should IMO, is add some measure of validity. You haven’t been crouched in a bunker (because crazy-ass Saddam is launching scuds at you) with the feeling of an ostrich egg in your stomach, in full chem-gear with a gas mask in your hand at the ready, wondering. Wondering just how in the hell you ended up 3000 miles away from your family and friends, and why. Wondering what they are doing, if they are thinking about you right now. Wondering about your girl, and hoping that she still thinks of you, even though you know in your heart it’s more likely she’s moved on and is busy getting slam-fucked by someone else as you cling to slim chance that the letter you were expecting just got lost in the crappy and inefficient military mail system. Wondering why you never thought more seriously about the very real possibility of your own death, and why you never thought more seriously about your life. (I think I’ve said all of this before, as well, but it bears repeating)

The above and a couple of other occasions were the only times I was in the proximity of any tangible danger. It was only a very short glimpse, 1/1000 of what is experienced by our soldiers (and Iraqis) every single day, but a real glimpse nonetheless, which means that I don’t need to be an “expert” to be able to say how it is to be a soldier acting as fodder for a tragically brutal and failed foreign policy. If there’s anything in the world I am certain of it is this—these guys don’t want your chest-beating, they don’t want to see or hear about our cars and trucks festooned with Chinese slave-labor manufactured yellow ribbons, and they don’t want a rote “thanks for your service” out of everyone’s largely insincere pie-hole.

They want to come home. That’s the support they want (and deserve) from America—not elective and illegal wars planned by academics and elites who couldn’t give half a damn and administered by the same.

“No, the "diplomats" from Iran couldn't have possibly been doing anything wrong. They were invited. That makes it all good. So if you invite your neighbor into your house and he starts to steal things when you are not around or harasses your family, it is ok because, hey, you invited him in and he would do that.”

Either your first few sentences don’t match up with that analogy, or this head-cold thing is worse than I thought. What did they steal? Are you under the impression that we (US) invited them in? That’s the only condition where I can make any sense of this, and that condition is incorrect. Just in case, though, I’ll restate that they were there at the invitation of the Iraqi government. The free Iraqi government. The democratic Iraqi government. The empowered Iraqi government. The Iraqi government to whom we supposedly handed the reigns quite a while ago, when we would be taking a step back into a training and support role.

Here is a good (but long) synopsis of the whole IED/EFP push (all thoroughly documented and notated) trying to start another war. Take special note of the section titled “THE IRA CONNECTION” particularly the part about the IRA getting the tech from the British government. Documentation on this can be found in a variety of places.

The kidnapping of their diplomats was the actual “act of war” in this case. Actual diplomats or not, they had the credentials and were there at the behest of the Iraqis to talk of reconstruction and efforts toward more stability. And why shouldn’t they be? These people will be neighbors long after we are gone, to say nothing of their religious ties.

“No, I am wrong because I supposedly support "confirmed liars and criminals". What lies? You are going give the Bush lied people died bullshit line? Two investigative committees found that to be untrue. It has been proven that they had the same info that Clinton had. Because you don't like them, they are liars and criminals. Talk about being open minded.”

What lies? What lies? Really? Okay, here’s an easy and quick one: Yellowcake.

These people all took oaths to protect the Constitution, and yet they have done nothing but do their dead-level best to tear it down, piece by piece. Habeas Corpus, gone—Jose Padilla might have something to say about that, if he survives. Our entire Bill of Rights for the most part, gone. Ask Imus how his free speech is doing these days (I don’t like the guy, but this latest is patently ridiculous).

What investigative committees are you speaking of? Is this one of the instances where the rubber-stampers in Congress let them “investigate” themselves and called it good?

And why on earth do you keep bringing up Clinton? Seriously dude, it’s like you’re a robot sometimes. If I didn’t know any better, I would swear that you’ve never read a single thing I’ve written. Where have I ever written that I’m a big Clinton fan, and when have I ever defended him? The reality is that I’ve been quite the opposite where the Clintons are concerned—they are both criminals in their own right. The fact that you’re still flailing with partisan excuses and arguments makes me think you’re not really paying much attention and that I’m absolutely wasting my time with this, rather than just “mostly.” I’m not even a little bit partisan, no matter how much you may try to wish it upon me. Partisan politics is nothing less than pure theatre, served up for the intentionally dumbed-down population at large.

I’m also not sure what this “the same info Clinton had” stuff is all about. It sounds like you’re mixing your Iraq scandals with the administration attempts to whitewash 9/11.

“Maybe I wish I could be as lofty in my thinking attitudes. Must be nice to act like people do not want to destroy your way of living. To act like terrorism doesn't happen. To think Iran is not waging a war. No, the weapons the army finds are not proof. That their intel is wrong. That the government is the boogie man out to get me.”

Why can’t you “be as lofty”, what’s preventing you? Do you have a solemn duty to your betters to remain frightened and cowering at the terrorist ghost? I never stated that terrorism doesn’t happen, just not in the way or to the extent that you’re led to believe. Here is a bit from WaPo 2005 about how many terror incidents occur yearly. Now fire up your googles and search for stats on the worldwide number of car fatality incidents every year, or malpractice, or cancer. And fancy this, as of 2005, the State Department will no longer be publishing terror statistics. I’m sure it’s for the same right and true reasons (which the unwashed aren’t allowed to know) that the Federal Reserve no longer publishes current M3 data.

Whole books have been written on just facets of the subject of terrorism, so I obviously can’t comprehensively do it justice on these pages, and the fact is, there is still a great deal for me to learn.

On the assertion that it is Iran who is waging the war, I refer you to the IED document above. Just because the army or the government says something does not necessarily make it so. They have lied countless times before and are still doing so today.
If I may suggest, you could start by watching Terrorstorm, which lays a good historical foundation. Don’t just take its presented info at face value, look it up as I did. The history is there, which begs the obvious question—Why are you so insistent on having such blanket and unquestioning faith in something that has failed you (and us) so many times?

“Maybe you need to wake up. Stop watching Olberman and appreciate what you have instead of living in misery. Life is too short to be constantly bitching about nothing.”

I don’t watch Olbermann anymore because I got rid of the television months ago. And what in the world is wrong with Olbermann? How exactly has he been inaccurate or what has been misrepresented in his reporting and commentary? He seems to be one of the few journalists left in existence that still retains some real integrity when it comes to reporting what goes on in the world. I would add Lou Dobbs to that list, as well.

Also, I do not live in misery. In fact, I can honestly say that I’m happier now than I’ve been in some time (due in large part to expelling the television). A bit of the veil has been lifted, and although I may not like much of what I see, it’s a damn sight better than living in the manipulated cloud that has obscured much of my life. Since then the damnedest thing has happened. Not only do I appreciate what I have, I treasure much, much more. Sure, I bitch a lot concerning both the meaningful and the inane, but that’s what I do. It’s what I’ve (for the most part) done since I started this thing, and it’s what I will continue to do no matter how much sniping I have to endure.

******

Quickly, concerning Al-Jazeera and your second comment responding to BG—Al-Jazeera was started by a grant from the emir of Qatar. Qatar is an emirate that we have good relations with, and in fact used as one of our launch points during the 2003 invasion. You stated that they (Al-Jazeera) have been “repeatedly accused of terrorist links and putting forth well-known terrorist opinions.”

You’re right, they have been accused to terrorist links, but nothing more specific than that. This is a very consistent trend with our current government, in that there are a great many accusations and a great deal of very loud rhetoric, but specifics and proof never seem to be forthcoming, and are ever in short supply.

It’s also worth pointing out the danger in the last part of your statement, which I would like to get further into at a later date, specifically the “putting forth well-known terrorist opinions.” What is a terrorist opinion, exactly? Such a thing could be applied by whomever is in power to punish most anything they did not like, wanted to suppress, etc, as we have seen and are seeing. When you start talking about things like “terrorist opinions”, free speech flies right out the window, and is that, or is that not what America is supposed to be all about and supportive of? Al-jazeera’s biggest crime in the eyes of this administration was to take and publish graphic pictures of what was happening in the war which ran completely contrary to their faux Jessica Lynch rah rah look the war is great PR campaigns (Jessica Lynch herself has gone public attesting to the fact that it was all PR and propaganda for continued war support, while several others related to the situation have coincidentally become very dead).

Another appropriate related question to ask yourself would be, if our actions in the Middle East are so very just, why does the government work so hard to conceal its reality, to the point they freak out at pictures of flag-draped coffins? The answer to me is obvious. They want to keep reality as far in the hazy distance as possible, and keep you thinking about all its ramifications as little as possible. As an adult, to have reality and truth deliberately kept from you as though you were some small and dumb child should be insulting to your core.

*****

Now it’s your turn, as questions contained within my first response thus far remain unaddressed. I ask a lot of questions, and I certainly don’t expect a long and researched answer to each and every one of them (unless you want to, of course). The question that I primarily would like to see addressed is how or why you so doggedly support GW when the fact that he referred to the Constitution as “a goddamned piece of paper” is well documented, and his policies and actions are consistent with this view?

It is my belief that anyone who loves their country and their freedom should find such a sentiment repulsive, and I am interested in your honest thoughts. Also, I would be interested in any answers you might have on the double standard questions concerning Iran in my previous response, as questions relating to that went unaddressed, as well.

And yes, a drink in Vegas will be fantastic, assuming we get there (we should, it’s just not 100% yet)

Big ups to Daddy--bringin’ things into focus at just the right time. Given what I’m about to write it seems reasonable to guess that what I got out of his post is likely much different that what others may have pulled out of it. That being said…..

I was going to try and scratch out a quick post today, maybe a few news articles that caught my attention and my thoughts on them, or maybe a quick bit about different things I found to be particularly odd or annoying this week--the usual tripe. It should go without saying that I would have been struggling throughout the thing to hold back another inanity about how busy things are. No shit. So is everyone else. Say something fucking interesting.

Then, taking a break from scraping and sanding my ghetto-ass neglected “deck” (which, in my defense, was like that when I bought the place) I popped into the house for some water, a sit, and a check of the mail. The mail had a surprise.

“I knew you would be so sad in your predictions about action against Iran. Even as Iran continues to wage war on the US. Supplying weapons, training, and taking hostages.

No, those Iranians are innocent.

For one that blames the media on a lot of items, you seem to fall in line with Al Jazeera pretty quickly in spreading the propaganda.”

Guess who?

Scraping and sanding the deck has been postponed to a different time. Clear my schedule and let me get at this.

I’m not sure whether to be angry or utterly despondent. More the latter than the former, I suppose. There’s anger that I’m forced to deal with such imbecilic vitriol, but more utterly despondent that it exists so pervasively in the first place. Let’s start with the first sentence.

“I knew you would be so sad in your predictions about action against Iran.”

First, let me say, how very kind of you to revel in my (assumed) sadness.

Second, let me point out that I did not “predict” anything with certainty. What I try to do, and did, and will continue to do, is point out whatever I see that shows how very close we keep creeping towards this new disaster. I never deigned to set a date certain, only point out likely time periods and precipitating events. I still am very much of the mind that we edge closer every day towards an attack against Iran, as little or nothing so far has slowed the direction of the grand neoconservative plans to plunge that entire area of the world into a chaotic stone age once again. It is still very likely that we will be attacking Iran in 2007, and likely no later than the end of September if things continue on their present course.

Which brings me directly to Third. If I am wrong about the “predictions” above, then I will not be sad, just as I am in no way sad right now about not being at war with yet another nation. Every week that goes by basically finds me ecstatic that we HAVEN’T invaded Iran because I’m actually aware of the likely fallout resulting from such an action, both literal and figurative. Why on earth would I be joyful that a prediction for war came true? Do you think me some kind of fucking monster?

I doubt it, only because someone using such “nyah, nyah” thumb-on-the-nose fifth-grade playground tactics doesn’t usually get that far down the thought path. It is the phraseology of someone who has not only NOT been there, but the words of someone who hasn’t made any effort to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, as it were. In short, it is the language of the ignorant.

And speaking of….

“Even as Iran continues to wage war on the US. Supplying weapons, training, and taking hostages.”

It’s difficult to even know where to begin with this one. I’ll leave alone the inherent asininity of Iran waging war on the US, as though they are the aggressor and we are merely innocent bystanders caught up in an unfortunate mess we had no hand in creating.

Let’s say that what you are asserting is completely correct and true, in which case I refer back to the “mile in someone else’s shoes” point.

It has been reported on for some time that for at least the last year, the US has been funding and training terrorist groups (again, MEK is a good example of this, a group that even now is on the State Department list of known terrorist groups—something I’ve mentioned several times before) in southern Iran to wreak havoc and further destabilize the country and situation. The special-ops guys also haven’t been left out of the cross-border fun either, as they’ve been making plenty of incursions of their own.

Let’s also not forget snatching diplomats in Irbil (in country at the invitation of the “democratic” Shiite Iraqi government, who have a great many natural ties to Iranian Shiites), alongside various other assorted kidnappings, extraordinary renditions, and assassinations. Diplomacy? Fuck that. Lying and promoting the maximum amount of fearful hysteria and violence is the way the US does things now.

If you are Iran, do you just quietly take the US bullying lying down? Something to ponder. If our roles were reversed and Iranian intelligence agencies had fomented the overthrow of Truman in ’53 and had him publicly executed (as we did with the democratically elected Mosadeq) installing in his stead the brutal Shah and his SAVAK secret police who’s reign of terror on the population lasted for many, many years, don’t you think US citizens would be harboring a great deal of animosity and don’t you think they’d be right in doing so? Why is it okay for us, but not for them?

Did you know about these things? If not, do these things being pointed out give you any pause whatsoever or have you already dismissed them out of hand as untrue? Your continued silly comments answer that sufficiently, I think.

“For one that blames the media on a lot of items, you seem to fall in line with Al Jazeera pretty quickly in spreading the propaganda.”

Well, I cited several sources in that last post, but none of them were Al-Jazeera who is, by the way, a well-regarded international media outlet. I’m curious what it is exactly that makes Al-Jazeera such horrible “propaganda”. Is it the scary Arabic name or is it just that King George doesn’t like it, which must mean it is evil? They are actually one of the few places that have done any real war reporting, which is to say, showing pictures of the death that is its reality. We can’t have that. After all, if people faced uncensored pictures of elective wars they might not be so keen to allow their governments to wage said wars.

For an outlet to report on an event is not propaganda. What should concern you is that dead Anna Nicole’s baby daddy saga received ludicrous amounts of coverage and airtime while this large protest was barely mentioned in our national media. Kind of like the Pentagon protest in March. Kind of like the massive worldwide protests, pre-invasion 2003.

And just what is the propaganda you refer to when you accuse me of “spreading the propaganda”?

The fact that you continue to line up behind the confirmed liars and criminals that currently lead our government is shocking and frightening. The unbridled support of a leader who has referred to our Constitution, the basis of our national existence and all we purport to stand for, as “a goddamn piece of paper” simply defies explanation. You rally behind the denigration of integrity by our leaders and cheer their systematic elevation and continuation of rampant deception and corruption.

And you want to try and imply that I am somehow the dupe? If so, then perhaps you can hold forth as to how and why I am wrong rather than simply declaring me so.

Wake up, man. Enough with the juvenile Bill O’Reilly flavor comments. They only serve to illustrate your very shallow understanding of not only current events, but history as well. Frankly, I’m pretty goddamn sick of hawkish and fantasy-based jackassery from people like you who haven’t spent a single day in the military or the Middle East. You’re a continuing insult to the people who have and are.

Indeed, the humanity

"My belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators."--Dick Cheney

"I think the Iraqi people owe the American people a huge debt of gratitude."--George W. Bush

Photo from IHT/(Ali Abu Shish/Reuters)

Irony at a base level. Oh wait, I'm sorry, those are terrorists. I forgot.

Assist me in speculating

Tomorrow will be the last day of another training stint for work. Devices are upgrading and changing, so we gotta learn the new ones they're bringing in. Always boring but better than actually working.

And there's this guy in the class...

Good guy, nice guy, normal guy, smart guy, whatever people say when they don't lean one way or the other. But I did notice today, that when he's looking at the screen on his laptop he begins rocking, back and forth, like he's suddenly caught in the grip of a strange autistic impulse.

Seriously, it's the damnedest thing I've ever seen.

If someone talks to him and he looks one way or the other, the rocking stops immediately. As soon as his head swivels "eyes front" the rocking begins again, immediately. It is fascinating to watch, like a human metronome.

I'm rocking back and forth just thinking about it.

Has anyone else in the IT environment ever seen anything like this? If so, what is it? If not, whaddya think this is?

I'm completely distracted by it, mostly just because I can't ask him why the hell a laptop screen makes him rock. (I don't really know him other than his name is familiar within the context of my massive email load, which is 150 or so/day on weekdays--rigoddamndiculous.)

What if he's some kind retarded disabled handi-capable savant? What the hell would I say then? Do I fire off a range of quickly mumbled condolences in an effort to cover the spectrum of apology with the floundering hope of hitting on the correct apologetic sentiment, averting disaster and hopefully managing not to get sued and/or fired? Or, are congratulations the proper reaction these days? Congratulations! You'll never be fired (like I'm sure to be now) for implying that someone might be a retard, no matter what you say!

What if he has no idea he does it? That will only a) make him feel bad, b) piss him off (perhaps getting me punched), c) make him worried that he might be retarded, or d) all of the above. Somehow I don't think he'd be receptive to any proffered explanation that I'm only genuinely curious.

All I'm sayin' is that rocking compulsively back and forth in front of a glowing screen is fucking weird. Is this compulsion pre-existing or is it developing? So many questions...and yes, I'm aware that it's really not my business. I don't care, I still want to know.

Since I likely can't know, I am stuck with speculation. Help me out.

(perhaps I should consult The Bracelet, as he is a veteran retardation assessor)

FBI Stops Real World Gambling (Updated with sentiment correction and apology)

Hey everyone, you're gonna love this.

It seems that the FBI has so successfully and thoroughly prosecuted US Anti-Gambling Laws, the only thing left to do is head to the Second Life virtual world to do some cracking down.

This had to have been Bill-O's idea. No one else is this retarded.

How does the phrase, "Orwellian fruitcake land" ring in your ears now?

I wonder what is next? Owners of gambling blogs will now be forced to register with the soft-Gestapo Homeland Security, as gambling is considered to be suspicious activity which might provide leads in helping to fight the GWOT, as opposed to the GWOVT (virtual terror) that is just getting underway.

Pass it on.

UPDATE: Oh hell, I knew this was bound to happen sooner or later. Too much speed reading on my part and I overlooked an important part of an article. Apologies to all, and thanks to Al for pointing out what I should have seen from the start.

From the article--

"SecondLife has said that it is aware of the FBI visit, and that it has sought guidance on virtual gaming activity in Second Life but had not yet received clear rules from US authorities."

Second Life called them in as Sir Al has pointed out. Now I'm annoyed at Second Life, even though I understand the reasoning behind them doing this. But that's not even really it. I'm really just annoyed that this is even an issue.

I hate fucking up. Again, apologies to everyone for my hastiness, and you probably do not want to pass it on in this case, unless of course you would like to take the opportunity to laugh at me. You certainly wouldn't be unjustified for doing so in this case.

Technorati: Online Poker poker War on Terror FBI Police State Orwellian Legislating Morality degenerates nanny state

New LVV Politics content posted

And now, the crucifixion.

(Will return to the idiocy here soon--too many irons in the fire at the moment. Hope all is well with everyone reading this.)

Lying for War...Again.

(This is a reprint of my post today on LVV.)

We saw them lie about every single thing in the run up to the Iraq invasion.

We are consistently lied to. We are controlled and directed, in increasingly worse ways.

It looks now (and what thinking person familiar with recent history can be surprised) like another work of fiction being acted out. Another horrifying scene in a movie poorly directed by criminal madmen who imagine themselves to be great.

This may not be indisputable yet, but it's got a lot of goddamn credibility. It certainly warrants a much closer look and much greater transparency. It is Joe Wilson on the other side of the ocean.....is anyone going to listen, or are they going to eat their yellow cake and be "Good Germans" once again?

This is the edge of the abyss. It must stop.

(See also my previous two posts on LVV, not previously linked)

You didn't need that personal information anyway

Wednesday--More humpish than the other days.

Hitting the sauce seems in order. I had a friend from work who was able to find me some Raki, a liquor (liqueur?) that I first had when I was deployed in Turkey. I have had the damndest time up until now finding any here in the US (I suspect this is becasue it's Turkish), so today's development was nothing short of fantastic as acquiring more of this fine liquid is something I have long looked forward to.

Tonight I dine on Milk of the Brave Men.

1 bottle Raki, 1 bottle water, 1 glass

Add Raki

Add water. Mmmm, milk for the brave man.

Delicious, brave, and perfect for Wednesday humping. Cheers, and here's to not being at war...yet. Continuing on a completely random note....

Today was an exciting mail day, as this is the day that the ValuePak arrived. Tonights "Best Advertising Leaflet" goes to The Hemorrhoids Treatment Center. The slogan:

HEMORRHOIDS: A Problem Worth Solving

I couldn't agree more. I'm thinking of applying some preemptive Preparation H right now.

I'd also like to give a special mention to the Hebrew National Hot Dog, one of my favorites. I've had three today in an effort to ease the pain of physical therapy.

You keep eating those things, you'll turn into a Jew...

Who said that?

I'd like to state for the record that the views of the peanut gallery do not necessarily reflect the views of the Human Head. The Human Head is in no way affiliated with the racist and loud italicized peanut gallery.

(another post is up at LVV. Bush-League Craftiness, if you're so inclined)

You stay classy Intertubes, and thanks for stopping by.

New LVV Content

Malice and Incompetence

(credit to BG for the afternoon news alert which compelled me to forego that nap I was looking forward to...)

There was a street brawl in front of my house just now.

No, I am not kidding.

It was between pigeons.

It was awesome.

Climbing the Ladder

It was with a heavy heart that I trudged my ass back into work today, although I found myself nominally excited at the prospect of watching some crappy cable news (even though deep down I knew said excitement would likely last no more than 20 minutes).

Unfortunately for me, it seems that during my absence there was another fucking re-org. Wow, color me seriously unhappy and annoyed. I’m not exaggerating one bit when I tell you that we just had one a month before I departed, which makes for a total of three in less than a year.

Christ, it’s like I’m working for my brother’s kids.

Embrace change, my ass. These fuckers have no idea what they’re doing—unless it involves avoiding responsibility (i.e. work, in general) and talking for hours on end without actually saying anything (preferably through concurrent meetings which will run late).

Another operations group has now been (for the most part) fully integrated with mine, and with the new folks came new monitoring tools, which now take up the remaining plasma screen on which CNN used to babysit me through a boring shift. The integration of this new group is, of course, being labeled as a “learning opportunity” mixed in with some prattle having to so with “world-class service”.

It should go without saying that henceforth I will be concluding every phone call taken at work with “You got world-class served!” I may tack “bitch” onto the end of that, depending on current mood and/or circumstances, and I may also break dance to drive home any points I want to make.

We’ll just have to wait and see, there’s a lot of room for creativity.

For example, when I start giving the finger to everyone who speaks to me at work because of their re-org-ing, I’ll have to remember to tell my bosses (at the eventual meeting I’ll be called to) that it wasn’t really the finger I just gave, but rather an “employee relations management challenge presenting an opportunity for individual and departmental success”. It will be very impressive while wearing my salmon-colored shirt and Bluetooth headset.

I expect someone will promptly propose making my issue an action item and then put me in charge of something since I will have, at that point, ceased doing any actual work, thus becoming a top candidate for new management. Once the promotion takes effect it will remain to be seen whether or not I will be able to give more of the finger or less. It won’t matter, I suspect, as I will be known from that point on as “the guy that gave so-and-so the finger”.

If all else fails, I suppose I could hire a stunt finger to handle my confrontations for me since I’ll be busy “managing”.

Is this the week we attack Iran?

The moon will be at it's darkest for a week beginning 3/15.

March 19 will mark the 4-year anniversary of the invasion of Iraq.

All of US forces are in position around Iran (and cannot just sit there forever).

A path through Iran's neighboring airspace has been cleared--the agreements have been procured.

A high-ranking "defector" has suddenly materialized.

The Iranian New Year begins on March 21.

Gasoline has risen 20-30% in the last 2-3 weeks.

Saying I'm "tense" right now would be an gross understatement.

(Originally posted at LasVegasVegas. Also, from 3/14, The Big Empty)

Baked on the Reservation

Being the cause of all the worlds cancer, Phoenician politicians decided to punish smokers in the last election by rolling out two false choice propositions banning smoking and raising the taxes about 30% in one shot.

Of course, I could go on for 3000 words about the ridiculousness of these false electoral choices and the people who can't see past them, but that would be a whole lot of work for something people won't read anyway--no energy for it today.

This is about my seeking to avoid the newest few pounds of tyrannical ridiculousness by making the addict's pilgrimage to the reservation (smoking, by default I think, makes me a freedom fighter of some sort, which is a convenient thing to play in this case and helps me ignore the fact that I could just, well, quit).

The reservation is really just a big Chevron station with an increasingly trafficked, tax-exempt smoke-shop. I'm part of the "increasingly" in that last statement, as I only found out about it's existence a few months ago myself.

Not only do trips to the res make me happy because it saves us a fairly sizeable bit of cash over time (we are some cancer spewin' mofos), it's just a fun place to go. It's really the only place that I can think of where I don't mind the 15-20 min wait in line. The scenery in this place is fantastic--I love to stand quietly and soak in the freak carnival of which I am a part.

The line moves, small distraction.

They surge all around with the frenetic yet mindless energy only maintained by those who have no idea where they are and who don't much care--wherever is fine. Stumbling around in circles, they will sometimes run into you and then look incredulous, as though they cannot imagine how such a thing could have happened and that you, an alien ninja, must therefore be at fault for the collision. It's good times.

Soaking it all in at once is one thing, but I don't let it monopolize my time. I also enjoy staying on the lookout for celebrities. Just yesterday, I think I saw Ted Nugent. It was either Ted, or his very near hair approximation, wearing a cooler "t-shirt underneath the sleeveless t-shirt" look--for a second I thought that I may have been witnessing the birth of a whole new hillbilly haute, a new Billy Ray Cyrus moment in fashion.

"Check out that guy" Mrs. Head nudged me.

"Dude, I think that's Ted Nugent," I said under my breath, "I'm going to see if he'll sign my carton."

The line moves, small distraction. When I looked over again, Ted was gone.

"Damn, he's already gone? I had no idea Ted Nugent would be that fast."

Mrs. Head looked back, "He probably had to go kill something."

When she's right, she's right.

I wasn't that disappointed that Ted left, but his presence left me with the distinct urge to hear some Damn Yankees and "get taken high enough", barricade myself in the house, and spend the rest of the day frying bacon.

The line moves, small distraction.

"I wonder what the cashier would do if I went up to the counter and asked for an application to be an Indian? You think she would get it, or would that get us thrown out and maybe killed?"

"Yeah, something like that."

It is seriously easy to get the giggles in this place. I think the lady standing in front of us heard my question, so she turned around and gave us "the pretty face".

I don't think a meandering discourse is necessary concerning her looks, but I will tell you that I would have bet a c-note on the spot that she hooked in the mid to late 80's.

What's important here is "the pretty face". Here's how you can see what it looks like.

Get yourself in front of a mirror. NOTE: Make sure no one else is around. You should have no illusions here, "the pretty face" is not pretty. It doesn't matter who you are, it will remain "the pretty face". Mrs. Head has a friend (the originator of this godawful contortion) that is very pretty and does the best "the pretty face" you've ever seen-she's hideous. It seems the better looking you are normally, the more hideous "the pretty face" makes you.

Show your teeth (don't smile, just show your teeth) until your eyes begin to squint. Concentrate on the uppermost portion of your gums. Lean your head sort of out and over to the side. This is the end result. To do the entire pretty face motion, simply start from rest, then begin slowly showing your teeth while rotating your head over to the side and out a little.

There you go. See? Pretty.

The line moves, small distraction.

Pay for smokes. Gotta go.

Newt Gingrich Falls Short (or, went long and then fell short)

Go read about the Accidental and Complete Coincidence of Newt's Extramarital Dickery during the Clinton impeachment.

"The honest answer is yes," Gingrich, a potential 2008 Republican presidential candidate, said in an interview with Focus on the Family founder James Dobson to be aired Friday, according to a transcript provided to The Associated Press. "There are times that I have fallen short of my own standards. There's certainly times when I've fallen short of God's standards."

C'mon, now. Everyone stop being so damn hard on the guy. Who doesn't backslide every now and again? Newt is doing his best Jimmy Swaggart (for the new millenium) act for Fundamentalist mobs who love that sort of thing almost as much as they love the slaughter of brown people in the third world.

Word has it that Newt may be scheduling a backslide with a fellow named Sanchez ( source --definitely NSFW due to throbbing cocks) sometime mid-summer in a repentance tag team event. A repentance "Super Bowl", if you will, that should coincide nicely with the New Year festivities '08, thus giving him enough momentum to cruise into the dictator's chair on Starship USA.

What might one call this Repentance Super Bowl? Hmmmm...'kay, got it.

Repentance '08: Guzzle God, not Rod.

Technorati: Newt Gingrich values I slipped and fell dick first hypocrisy deceptions Family Elections Repentance

Ron Paul on the Federal Reserve

This is the presidential candidate you'll never really hear much about in the corporate media. If you understand the Federal Reserve and the sordid history of the fractional banking/debt system, then you'll understand the balls necessary for this speech.

There is also another post up on LasVegasVegas politics--a statement by Ron Paul on the Iraq War Resolution before the USHOR on March 7.

Oh yes, he also voted "NO" on the restriction of Internet gambling. Note for some friends--he's also for the decriminalization of marijuana.

Technorati: Ron Paul Economy Federal Reserve dollar value gambling prohibition

Welcome back to hell

I should be starting back on Monday, that is, unless my smacked ass of a doctor gets up to his old tricks. He'll probably try to sign the necessary forms in Klingon or Elvish and leave me effed in the a for another week.

So in order to achieve maximum disappointment when he does this, I began driving a bit this last weekend. I tried to think positively, reminding myself just how long I've been able to avoid the never ending crush and in doing so, I had enough tranquility stored in the nether regions (of my brain) to stay Buddha-faced for at least a week.

Oh, the lies we tell ourselves.

Knowing I needed to drive, but also knowing that I likely wouldn't be able for very long, I opted to drive us back home after running some errands and picking up the dogs from the kennel. Nice and easy, easy breezy.

Then I started driving.

Now, you have to understand the surroundings where the kennel is located. Not a busy or high traffic area, especially on the weekend (which seems to be the case of the entire city, really). Pulling in to the kennel--ghost town. Wait for them to bring up the dogs--one car goes by. Get dogs, get out, get everyone into the car-nothing, nada, zip, zilch, fucking dead quiet. I pull up to the edge of the drive and look left before pulling out, you know, just in case even though it's been a completely dead road for a full 15 minutes.

Right on fucking cue.

Here comes a funeral length of traffic (only going slower) combined with the longest green light EVER just for them. Also, thanks to my amazing road fortunes, the direction I'm forced to go (because of construction) leads me straight into--that's right-- some more construction. This is the point where I find out that not only can these 237 cars (now in front of me) not go any faster than a load-bearing amputee, they are horribly confused and distressed by the color orange, thus extending the amount of time it takes me to get home by double.

I'm coming around to the theory that hell will be different for everyone and not just the Lake of Fire seen in standard dogma, mostly because my own (should I also have the poor fortune of going south rather than north upon my passing) is becoming much clearer. I will be perpetually stuck in a car behind these people for all eternity (and it will be very hot, naturally). I will never get home. I will never be able to leave the car. Joe Leiberman will be sitting in the passenger seat droning on about "aid and comfort".

Facing the prospect of that, how could a guy not be upset? I think I did well just in the fact that no one was stabbed.

Come to think of it, maybe I do want the doc to fuck up that paperwork....


(A new post is also up on LasVegasVegas Politics, for those interested)

Never again with the standard earbuds

Since ridding ourselves of the demigod television 60 or so days ago, we have been forced to seek other stimulation. Beside the fact that it has necessitated a redoubling of will not to knock up this classy dame that lives with me, it also saw the realization that my headphones were seriously substandard.

So I bought these. Yowza, nice.

If the bottom end of the Shure spectrum is this good, the thought of their upper-crusty $400 model makes me positively giddy. Rachel immediately demanded her own pair, which for her is strange because she doesn’t demand…ever.

Get’em. I can’t imagine how anyone could be disappointed in them. (Except perhaps one thing--you may be disappointed if you fail to follow the fitting instructions and get the right earpiece for you in place. They feel hideous if inserted incorrectly, as do most things, I suppose.)

I got a hold of a FLAC version of Bitches Brew and it sounds wicked, as does the rest of my music. My appreciation of jazz immediately went up a few points simply because every little nuance could be heard lending a depth to the music that certainly wasn’t there previously.

I’m not getting paid to flog these, I swear. If you appreciate your music and have thus far been content with the standard phones that came with your player, be content no more. These provide a higher end experience without anally raping your pockets.