News Can Be Entertaining

For those completely tired of hearing about Michael Jackson, I’ll go ahead and offer an advance apology right now before speaking. Hearing about the goings on of the sordid business is actually a welcome relief in my part of the country, as I have suffered through the last year having to hear some bit of inane shit about the serial killer, BTK, EVERY FUCKING DAY, and I don’t even watch the local news. Despite this they manage to sneak that crap in on the wondrous vehicle that is the local news commercial. You know it, the one that says, “You’re likely to be shot within the next fifteen minutes, details at the top of the hour.”

Personally, I find all of the trial stunts amusing. I won’t hypothesize about who I think is guilty or who is not, because truthfully I have no idea. One the one hand, Jacko is richer than God and crazier than a shithouse rat, but on the other, one has to wonder if this is not another of the myriad attempts to get a piece of him. Enough about that, though. Here are some of the things I found amusing as I watched the daily train wreck:

---The Pajama-clad Jacko. I can only imagine the dialogue of the MJ’s security or medical personnel….

“Mike, are you all right? You look a bit pale. Oh wait a minute….oops….(d’oh!)”

---In doing a summary of his troubles up to this point, the news made mention of a court appearance where he showed up on crutches. Why? A spider bit him on the foot. Good Lord, that must have been one hell of a spider. I can’t help but wonder why, with all of the money that Jacko spends on everything else, more money wasn’t invested in extermination services.

---One of the myriad of lawyerly experts on the show accidentally said ‘McJackson’. This made me wonder, “If McDonalds came out with a Michael Jackson sandwich, what would it be like?” Most likely thinner than the average sandwich, with random chunks hacked out of various locations, and of course white meat. The sandwich would taste good early in it’s career, but would look and taste worse as the years went by.

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Last night I received an email from a guy, Ian, asking for a mention since I previously talked about how much I like The Contender. He’s trying to use the show’s popularity to do something worthwhile in South Africa, so if you get a chance go take a look here or here if you have the time.

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For many of the folks out there, poker after a hard day at work helps them relax. Not this guy **points at self**, and I should have known that. I came home tilted after a particularly annoying day. Held up by trains on my way to work, held up by others who seemed intent on fully expressing an appalling lack of basic technical proficiency, held up by wrecks on the way home. If you cross the threshold of your domicile cursing the world, think doubly hard before sitting at the tables.

The who, what, why is unnecessary, suffice to say I dropped close to $35 last night steaming. Certainly not a huge loss or anything, I only feel the need to mention it because I’m disappointed in myself for sitting when I knew I wasn’t in correct mindset for optimal play. Don’t be like me.

Some of the money I lost was on the $1/2 Limit game. Playing $1/2 drives me nuts (whether I'm steaming or not), and I can’t really figure out why. These days. I easily have the bankroll for this game, but still find myself at the .50/1 tables for the most part. I play $2/4 every so often and do just fine, and even when I lose a bit there I don’t feel too bad about it. The $1/2 game sets me on tilt REALLY quick for some reason, sometimes even when I have a winning session. I don’t get it, but it really does seem to be my personal Limit torture chamber for those times when I’m feeling masochistic. Has anyone just skipped the $1/2 game altogether on their way up? I think that Poker Chiq did, but I’m curious to hear anybody’s thoughts on this level.

I still have a ton of stuff to ramble about, but this is getting pretty lengthy so I’ll shut the hell up and will continue tomorrow in my efforts to Think Big, while my head, as always, remains Much Bigger.

KOTSI--Another Theory

While watching the WPT Legends of Poker at The Bike last night, for some odd reason I thought of a guy I used to be in the Air Force with. His name was Lee, and to say that he was a ‘strange guy’ would be a gross understatement.

Lee had a strange cycle. For a month or two, you could observe him day to day smoking cigarettes. Following this, the smokes would disappear and for the next couple of months you would see him with a spit cup. It seemed odd, but hell, there are plenty of people out there who do both. Then suddenly, the chewing tobacco would disappear as well, and for the next couple of months it seemed that Lee was partaking in a bit of clean living by doing neither. Sure enough, after a couple of months, smoke could be seen billowing out of his head, starting the cycle once again. So finally, I asked the question…

“What the hell, Lee? What’s with the effed up tobacco regimen?”

“I have to fool the cancer,” came the reply.

Yes friends, he was deadly serious. After getting some clarification, Lee’s Theory was clear. Not very sound, but clear nonetheless. He was convinced that by following this cycle he could literally ‘fool the cancer’. He was of the mind that if he smoked for 60 days or less, then any cancer cells wouldn’t have the chance to gain a foothold in his lungs. Same for cancer cells in his cheek. The 60 days of abstinence from either product was an extra precautionary measure he thought up in order to fully detoxify and get rid of any determined bits of cancer that may be trying to hang around.

We promptly named him the biggest idiot in the section because of this perceived ability to outrun the cancer. However, for some reason once every few years or so, I find myself wondering “What if Lee was right and knew something we didn’t?”

Last nights recollections aided in the birth of a similar theory, brought to you by the King of the Superstitious Idiots (KOTSI).

While partaking in the pleasure that is poker, one might see variance as it’s cancerous byproduct. You may have a few good sessions, but eventually it will catch up with you. What can a person do? We have to ‘fool the variance’. After a few good sessions, head over to a different game, or a different site altogether, and play there for a while. Due to your good fortune, variance will be sniffing around your usual haunts, eventually it will give up after not being able to find you. Variance hitting you pretty hard at Party? Move over to Stars or Full Tilt for a bit until variance loses the scent. Stick and move, stick and move. Variance may nip at you here and there, but you’ll keep it from sinking it’s teeth into you fully.

DISCLAIMER: Hopefully you didn’t take this seriously, it was not intended to be taken that way. It’s interesting to think about though, no?

If you missed the WPT episode last night, it’s definitely worth trying to catch on the likely rerun this weekend. Doyle, being outchipped almost 4 to 1, played some beautiful and near-perfect NL to capture the win. Awesome stuff.

That’s it for today from King of the Superstitious Idiots. The Head should be back tomorrow with your regularly scheduled programming.

I tried not to...

....but I couldn't help myself.



Thanks April for the fun link!
Geez, I've jumped on way too many bandwagons this week :)

Joining the shill ranks

I have joined the ranks of the affiliate whores, I couldn’t help myself. I have been thinking about doing this for months, but finally decided to take the plunge and start with Full Tilt. I actually emailed them the day before yesterday, but completely forgot to check my mail until I saw that Al had also joined in on the affiliate fun.

So last night I finally jumped in the pool, and I’m happy to report that the water is fine. The avatars are pretty cool, but given the fact you can’t build your own unique one, I went ahead and turned them off since they are mostly a distraction. I started things off with a $5 SnG, and I can’t really say too many good things about those. The blind levels increase too damn fast. I’m sure there is money to be made at them, but the speed of the levels will definitely require some adjustment. I believe that I’ll keep playing Stars for my SnG’s.

The ring games, however, treated me very well. Despite the fact there were only 4500-ish people playing, the games that I did find were pretty soft. I made about $55 playing one table of $25NL and one table of $.50/1 Limit. Oddly enough, most of those profits came from the Limit table, but I rarely play NL and am admittedly pretty weak-tight when it comes to the cash game.

Other than a few nitpicky cosmetic criticisms, the only thing I don’t like is the bonus situation, it really is like pulling teeth. After playing a little over two hours, I have worked off $2 worth of bonus money…oof. I am of the mind that if Full Tilt would loosen up their bonus requirements, even just a bit (i.e. instead of .06 bonus money for each point, make it .10), would help get a lot more people to the site. Could you hook that up Hank? You’re not busy or anything are you? :)

OK, so for the last time this year month week—Full Tilt—Just click on the link, download, and sign up! Starting on March 15, Bonus Code HHEAD will be working, so you won’t even have to use the banner. Help me out folks, all that cocoa butter that I have to use on my head doesn’t pay for itself, ya know.

Don’t forget, the next WPBT Event on Sunday the 13^th. As far as my entry goes, all that can really be said is “Holy dead money, Batman!”

This last Saturday I was able to take a trip to the bookstore. Yes, this seemingly humdrum event IS worth mentioning, because I don’t go very often. Why? Simply put, I can’t control myself inside of a bookstore, I want to buy everything, regardless of it’s necessity—I’m half convinced they pipe in some as-yet-unheard-of gas that makes me crazy for their wonderful books.

So after buying a sex diaries book for my friend Laura’s B-Day, I spy a table with the dastardly sign, “Buy 2 Get the 3^rd Free.” Oh Boy. The title escapes me at the moment, but Mrs, Head got some Oprah book, and I also acquired Atlas Shrugged and Positively Fifth Street.

PFS started out what I thought was a bit slow, but quickly picked up speed. Next thing I knew, it was Monday and the book was finished. Reading it was a great pleasure, but I wish I could exercise a bit more restraint. When it comes to books, I’m like a fat kid with a box of Twinkies; I devour the book as quickly as I can, afterwards wishing I hadn’t eaten so fast. Damn those bookstores though, since upon the return home (and of my senses) I found that I could have saved quite a bit of money if I had simply picked up used copies off of Amazon. D’oh.

So, in my roundabout and long-winded way, I’m saying to read Positively Fifth Street if you haven’t yet. I promise it won’t disappoint.

OK, one last thing and I’ll shut up. If you don’t already, head over and read The Obituarium, pretty good stuff there, especially the drunk tourney documentation.

Remember, I’m Thinking Big, but my head is Much Bigger.

TV is Back!

Anyone who read here knows how much I like to piss and moan about NBC and television in general. After last night though, I think television just may be on a comeback.

The Contender is effing great. Mrs. Head was teary-eyed, and future episodes may have the capacity to throw some dust in my eye as well. It’s got Sugar Ray and Rocky, good production, product placement that for once isn’t cheesy. After being bored to death with The Apprentice, and downright angry at the complete shill the was The Restaurant (can someone call OPEN from American Express and see if they'll extend our credit line?), I find myself finally acquiescing to Mark Burnett’s reality-show overlordliness. Yeah I know, it’s show business and not real, but damn if it’s not some good TV, and hopefully it will help boxing regain some of it’s former wonder.

WPT season 3 is on, The Shield will be starting soon. My goodness it’s a heady time for a couch potato.

I had a nice session at Party last night, up 36 BB’s in a little over an hour. I missed out on about 6 BB’s due to the fact that I’m giving these people WAY too much credit, but I’m not complaining as there are definitely worse problems to have. Iggy reminds us every post he makes, but good bejeebus, the people that play there are SOOOOOO freaking bad. They make the low limits tables at Stars seem like they are full of tricky sharks. Yeah, that bad.

This post isn’t very thoughtful, or thought-provoking for that matter, but what the hell, I’m short on time today. I’ll try to Think Big tomorrow.

Sticking Points

I always find it kind of surreal when I have those moments that show me how much I’ve learned and make me realize, once again, just how far I still have to go.

As I edge ever closer to 30 years on this planet, I find myself thinking a lot lately about how much I thought I knew 15 years ago. 5 years ago. Hell, even 5 months ago. Even looking back at a couple of days ago, I find myself able to marvel at the fact that I thought I knew so very much about a certain thing, only to find out that I had again only scratched it’s surface.

It’s an unconscious thing really, and I will most likely walk through this day comfortable in my knowledge and experience, only to realize tomorrow that I shouldn’t have been.

I’m nearing the point where I’ve been playing poker for 18 months. Last night Mrs. Head and I entered the $3 Sunday Stars Crapshoot, and out of almost 2200 entrants she managed to last till 1100 and I exited around 650-ish. I continued by farting around on a .50/1 table while she fired up a $5 SnG and proceeded to bubble when her A8s dropped to JJ, which consequently added insult to injury by rivering the case Jack after flopping a set. I fired up a $10+1 SnG on Party to remind myself why I don’t play them. 800 chips, yeah right. I’m going to have to get my free money roll pumped up some more before I hit those bitches again, and maybe not even then. Their crapshoot format has a grand ability to set me on giant subtle tilt, the worst kind.

Why the preceding paragraph? Well, obviously to set myself up for this one. The both of us sitting there, scowling at our laptops, made me smile. I fought off my tilt by just shutting it all down instead of steaming at a 2/4 table and instantly felt better. However, it dawned on me that Mrs. Head is at the exact place I was about 6 or 7 months into playing the game.

“Poker is making me sad and grumpy”

After her initial tear on the SnG’s, things have of course slowed down, and it sucks that all I can do is just try and explain why and help encourage her through the rough patch. She is where I imagine most of us have been after beginning to play poker regularly, the place where you’ve done some winning by patiently waiting for good cards and winning big with them and suddenly this method isn’t working as well as it once did. Sonuvabitch!! WTF?! and other colorful epithets have free reign during this period.

I point out to her the things that are obvious to me now. The need to pay close attention to betting patterns and spotting weakness in a passive game and taking advantage of it, even if you don’t have the greatest cards in your hand. Working on bubble aggression, picking the right spots and not fucking up. Realizing that a min-bet after the flop, even it is 20% of your existing stack doesn’t necessarily mean that the bettor has anything, it’s a min-bet, after all. Truly realizing that sitting and waiting for the cards is not always the best answer. Hell, this is still a problem for me many times, but I can see it much clearer these days and a majority of my play has improved greatly. I just feel bad for her that it’s a sticking point that no one can push you through, you have to get through it yourself. I don’t have any kids, but I imagine the feeling is similar, watching them struggle with something you know you can’t really help them with. All you can do is offer encouragement, you can’t do it for them.

Today Pauly said it, and others in the past have said it many times. You just have to suck it up, play through, and use every loss as an opportunity to find a lesson or a leak. Granted, sometimes you just get bad beat to no end and there is only the soul-crush, but 99% of the time there is a lesson somewhere in there.

I can’t wait until tomorrow. It means I get a chance to find out many things I thought I knew today. Thinking Big today, hopefully Much Bigger tomorrow.

Greg Raymer's Great Contribution

While playing in a $5 SnG on Stars today, along came the following situation: With an extremely passive and limp notorious table, I find KQs in late position, two limpers, so I pop it to T200 with blinds at 25/50. I get two callers which is surprising, so I make a note to play carefully if the flop doesn’t hit me. Flop comes xh xh Kd, first to act checks, second to act bets T100 into the T600 pot, so I up it to T400 to test this guy out. First to act folds, second calls. Turn comes blank club. Guy checks, and having him on a flush draw, I put him all in with one card to come. After thinking for about half his time bank, he calls with K5 of hearts, looking for the flush that never came. Not the worst play ever (though, not good), and certainly a pretty big gamble, especially when your tourney life is at stake. The thing that struck me was the comment that came shortly thereafter from the observer chat:

Random Guy: Oh well it worked for Raymer.

It is times like this that I am ever so thankful for ESPN airing that hand between Raymer and Matusow, remember it? Raymer with AJh putting Matusow’s mediocre holding to the test for all his chips. If I ever have the good fortune to meet Greg Raymer in the future, I will certainly shake his hand for making that play, since upon reflection today, I am realizing just how much cash the misinterpretation of that hand has put into my pocket.

In relation to the Golden Riviera mini-whore post from a few days ago, I have decided that even with an $80/month bonus opportunity, I will no longer play there. I thought that my recent cashout would automatically be returned to my FirePay account, the same way it came in. It seems however, that this method would be way too easy. Instead I receive the email that lets me know that I will be receiving a check in the next 20 or so days. What a GIANT pain in my ass. I have resolved from here on out to only chase bonuses that are convenient.

While I’m on the subject, I have to wonder at the fact that I rarely chase bonuses of any kind. Of the few times that I have chased them, some have turned out very well, but a large prtion have ended up in either a monumental disaster or a low-profit waste of my time. I think it’s a combination of the potential bonus money having an adverse psychological effect on me, plus a little bit of ego. Psychological in the fact that I make a few loose calls here and there that I wouldn’t normally make because I have bonus money waiting in the wings, and ego in the fact that I take a greater measure of pride and satisfaction knowing that 95% of my bankroll was built by solid and consistent play and not bonus dollars. While I believe this admission qualifies me a being a certifiable moron, the only thing I can say in my defense is that I am aware of it and given the mostly adverse effects that bonuses seem to have on me by and large, I’ll be sticking to what has worked for the time being. (NOTE: To anyone who may have taken the preceding the wrong way, I don't in any way look down at those who build their bankroll with the bonus bucks, I just wanted to relate the way it is in my own case.)

Being King of the Superstitious Idiots is hard work, believe me.

I leave you with this little light bulb moment, which came at a friends B-day party last night after my third Guinness. We were discussing a mutual acquaintance who is basically a mess where the love life is concerned. You know the type, wanting to be married so bad it consumes their every waking moment, so much so, that they lose their identity completely running around in all of the smoke and mirrors?

Here is my sage piece of Guinness-induced advice for those with love troubles: Love is a lot like constipation. If you spend all of your time running to and fro to the porcelain throne every five minutes trying to instigate a fecal event, you will only end up worn out, frustrated, and more importantly still constipated. Stop worrying about it so much, you’ll poop when you’re ready. So it is with love.

As always, Thinking Big, while my head is Much Bigger.

I had a SuperNerd Friday

It dawned on me this morning that going a day or two without reading blogs means a LOT of reading to catch up on. I can’t think of a more pleasant problem, and have enjoyed my morning thus far doing just that, catching up.

A bit of nerd history for you. I was 9 (or was it 10?) years old, and after much saving and hoarding, I finally acquired a NES. It was a banner day for me, more so being a socially rejected super-nerd growing up in an oppressively religious environment. Somehow I conned my parents into letting me put the spare TV in my bedroom, and then (unbeknownst to them, of course), proceeded to play Super Mario Bros., Pro Wrestling, and Mike Tysons PunchOut! for nearly 72 hours straight (minus meals and bathroom breaks, of course). In my lifetime it was/is the longest gaming binge EVER, where my nerdiness actually worked to my advantage for once. When asked how I managed to get away with that, my parents said, “We thought you were holed up in your room reading something.” I have never been able to stay awake that long since, even with illicit help.

My reason for not reading any postings yesterday? Fight Night: Round Two. For those who don’t know this is an Xbox game, and while I’m normally a tried and true PC gamer, the console certainly does fit the bill at times, especially now that I can play in full 55” widescreen loveliness with surround sound. My passion for video games isn’t what it once was, but on occasion you can still find me putting in a 10 to 15 hour session if I can when I get a hold of a good PC game, the most recent being Half-Life 2. It is truly a rare occasion when I do something similar with a console game.

I spent about 8 straight hours yesterday landing haymakers and inflicting all sorts of Rocky-esque shit on my virtual opponents. If you are a boxing fan and you like video games even a little bit, you should get this game (it’s available for all the consoles). Everything about it is a huge improvement over the first (which wasn’t bad), and nothing says fun quite like seeing a slow-mo replay from different angles of your opponents face getting mangled (with attendant impact blood and sweat) from a great knockdown punch.

Only one complaint: This game BEGS for a custom soundtrack option, as hearing the same selection of rap songs OVER and OVER gets very tiring. You can turn down the music portion, so it’s not a huge deal, though.

As I sit here this morning with sore thumbs and a bit of a headache from staring unblinking at the television for so long, I can’t help but be a bit wistful where my childhood videogame days are concerned. Damn, those were the days.

Quick Question

While reading BadBlood’s post this morning, he said something that made me wonder.

“…[referring to Mrs. Blood] She'd like to play in the blogger tourney if there's room…”

Could it really be a possibility that the spouses of bloggers (my wife is PUMPED to play) would be excluded? I mailed CJ telling him to sign Mrs. Head and I up for the tourney, but never got a response, perhaps I’ll mail this question to him as well. I figured that I would do a quick post asking first, hoping that someone ‘in the know’ would be able to answer.

Since spouses are many times the struts that prop up us degenerate bloggers, excluding them would be seriously (to quote the Geico caveman) “Not Cool”. For the record, I don’t really think this will happen, but given I’m so freakin’ OCD I want to make sure :)

Thanks to anyone who can ease my OCD mind. Busy with school, more tomorrow.

Update: Thanks, Chris. It didn’t even cross my mind that the Aladdin might not have room to accommodate everyone. (Yeah, I know, I'm an idiot) Let’s keep our fingers crossed.

I am a mini-whore

I arrived home last night pretty beat down, but nonetheless determined to play some poker, it’s been far too long (read: four days). ScurvyDog gave up some details on a little Prima gem, Golden Riviera Poker, so I figured I would give baby whoring a shot. Good god, baby whoring just sounds bad, lets go with mini-whoring. I shot $50 dollars over from FirePay, and proceeded to take part in some fishy goodness.

As suggested, I began at the .50/1 7-Stud tables, which were actually much tighter than I was expecting, with about every third hand getting raked, so I brought up a second table. While GR certainly isn’t the worlds worst, it CERTAINLY doesn’t live up to the self-proclaimed “Sophisticated Internet Multi-Player Poker”. There are a myriad of little things that are annoying, but the worst for me was the fact that I actually have to email support to see how many raked hands I have cleared.

Things began in typical fish schooling fashion, where I lose between 8-10 BB’s on a long odds suckout, and then proceed to work my way back. I was even/up a bit, when I decided that I indeed didn’t like playing here very much and would be cashing ASAP. I went to bed at the normal time, but found myself up again at 1:30 AM staring old man insomnia in the face. Well, I figured this was as good a time as any to finish up those raked hands, so I head downstairs and find ‘The Devils Game’.

No, I did not find a roulette wheel on my main floor. I noticed the 5-Card Stud tab on GR, and decided to check it out. Now, it may be that I’ve completely had my head way up my ass for the last year and a half, but I’ve never heard of this game. Not the way GR dealt it, anyway. The 5-Stud I always knew about, you get 5 cards dealt to you at once, and that’s it. This game was dealt like Stud. One down, One up, then 3 cards face up-one each betting round.

Here is the spot where we find my late night smarts coming to bear.

I jump on the .25/.50 table just to get my feet wet, and for some reason I am OK with the fact that antes are .10, double that of the .50/1 7-Stud game, with a bring-in of .12. Try as I might, I couldn’t seem to get the strategery of this game. It was basically everyone call every street, and hope for some kind of suckout, which usually came. After one hour, I found myself down $13 Good Lord! Is this really a poker game, or some –EV variation peculiar to Prima? Or am I just a late night no thinking idjit? I suspect it’s the latter, but I’m hoping for the former. I guess I can take a bit of solace in the fact that every hand was raked, similar to a PL or NL game.

Leaving there, I returned to the .50/1 7-Stud to try and get back to my full $100 ($50 cash + 50 bonus dollars) and actually got pretty close, but alas, some late session chasers got there and knocked me back down. Finally, 3:30 AM and I am ready for sleep, so I say fuckit and cash with $85. I can at least console myself that following Scurvy’s advice will find me with a regular $80/mo in bonus money, because only $50 didn’t seem worth the time. That, or I’m just not a good little bonus whore.

So there’s my take on Golden Riviera. Not great, but not bad either. If you should decide to do this one, don’t let the player count discourage you. The funny thing about it was, the lower the player count the more fishy and loose the play at the Stud tables got. Having mini-whored for the first time in ages, I’m now tempted to try to do that Full Tilt thing. Has anyone actually cleared that whole bonus?

Designing the new header yesterday was some good fun and reminded me that it’s been way too long since I spent any time with FireWorks. Thanks to everyone that took the time to leave some feedback on it, I’m sure I will be tinkering more with it very soon..

I’m Thinking Big, but my head is truly Much Bigger.

What Say You?

Geez I'm slamfucked busy and barely have time to jot a couple of sentences.

What are some thoughts on my new header? It was designed hastily this morning while I fielded phone calls from waaaay too many people, and I can't decide whether or not it sucks.

Sell vitamins instead

First off, many apologies for the lack of regular poker content. It seems that over the last few weeks I have been unable to put together more than three posts in a row with any kind of poker insight. I just haven’t had the energy to play. I suppose I could jump on for a few hands and a short session, but to me it’s just not worth it. If I can’t give it my best effort, it’s just not worth doing. Besides, being tired and playing poker makes me VERY susceptible to tilt and bouts of loud swearing, which Mrs. Head frowns upon. The loud part, not the swearing.

The entire day today has seen me shuffling back and forth between elation and apprehension. Why? Iggy and Hank have written an eBook on power using PokerTracker. I’m elated because I’ve wanted PokerTracker for a while, but kept putting it off because I knew I wouldn’t have hardly any time to devote learning about it’s power. This book pretty much gives me no excuse not to have it now.

Then why did you say you were apprehensive, as well?

Because for some reason the thought of forking over the $75 total for the program and eBook keeps activating the “stingy, reticent, cheap-bastard” part of my brain. Why? Who the hell knows. After dropping over two bills in the last two weeks on DVD’s, you’d think I’d be jumping at the chance to get a hold of a tool that will certainly help make me more money. Part of me is jumping, but it’s doing battle with that cheap bastard from across the brain. I know I’m gonna get it, it just may take a few days to beat that stingy guy into submission.

Man, it sure was hard to go to work today. While doing schoolwork all morning (with more in store this evening) with the usual stream of morning show drivel in the background, I found out at 11AM that I could be making $12000 per week selling vitamins! Not just any vitamins….wait for it……The world’s BEST vitamins.

Man, after deciding to change careers about 3 years ago (in an effort to make the leap from IT dabbler to full-on), it sure is disappointing to know I’ve been balls-to-the-wall trying to learn anything and everything I.T., when I could have been drinking pina coladas while watching people go to my prebuilt website to buy vitamins and make me rich. Dammit, always a day late and a dollar short………

Oh well, I’ll get the next one. Now where in the hell did I put that Carlton Sheets number? Perhaps he’s still willing to make me rich for 4 easy payments of $69.95…

Home Game Nod

After an extended hiatus, the wife and I had another home game last night. We’ve found that among all of the different formats, the participants enjoy the tournament format over all others, so we decided that we’d go that route this night.

If I had to declare an official drink of the Human Head home game, it would mostly likely be Bass, since that it what I find in my oversize paw four out of five times. However, this night I decided I should do something different. Should I give the nod to Iggy and pick up some Guinness? Naah, not tonight. The dark and heavy loveliness of that esteemed beer didn’t seem quite “right”. Should I give the nod to Al, pick up some SoCo and begin finding reasons for shots? Well, it HAS been many, many, many years (11 to be more specific) since I had any of that stuff thrown down my gullet, so the idea seemed like a good one at first. Upon further reflection, though, I realized that I have plenty of hair on my chest for the time being and decided I’d save my re-acquaintance with SoCo for Vegas in June.

After more pondering than was really warranted for such a decision…..

…it finally dawned on me that tonight’s nod would go to Red Stripe, the official drink of the Tao of Poker. I haven’t had one of these lovelies in several years, and they sound perfect for this evening.

We raised the buy-in to $10, since a couple of nights with $5 buy-ins left us feeling wholly unsatisfied. For the first time, I actually had to deal with players who are slowly but surely improving. My brother, normally the biggest fish since the appearance of the whale that swallowed Jonah, discovered that people can be bullied with chips. He got a sizeable stack in the first tourney and used it to pretty good effect, taking down a second place.

By this time I was on my fifth Red Stripe, and was fast remembering the power contained by that innocuous little bottle. A bit of herbal realignment and we were ready to begin the second tourney, this time with seven of us instead of nine, since some folks had to leave.

A friend from school, Bruce, made an appearance for the first time, who has really never played poker before, and just watched the first tourney since he showed late. As he bought in for the second one, I wondered to myself how long it would take for him to call his way to no chips as is the case with so many new players. Damn, Bruce learns effing QUICK. He lasted about halfway through the field, actually making a couple of really nice moves, including slowplaying a flopped straight to bust someone. He ended up getting knocked out when he just called with KK and I managed to hit my ace when after checking my A4o in the big blind. I’m almost scared to have him back.

In spite of my being hammered shit, the wife and I took the entire prize pool in the second tourney when we ended up together in the top two spots. Nice. Ending up +$20 for the night is always better than losing, especially when you can pull it off in such an altered state.

One thing is for sure, I need to not forget about my friend, Red Stripe, in the future. A very nice beer that allows lucidity even after seven or so are consumed. OK, maybe that’s not entirely correct, since Mrs. Head had to take over dealing duties when I accidentally raked a players entire chip stack while building an all-in pot. Surprisingly enough though, I managed to remember what each player had and get them straightened back out in a correct manner.

Nonetheless, Mrs. Head declared me ill-equipped and barred me from touching any chips or cards that weren’t my own for the remainder of the evening.

God bless her, Thinking Big at the times I cannot.

Totally Super Pumped

Finally.

I haven’t been to Vegas since the wife and I had our honeymoon there in 2000. Thankfully, my wife saw the signs as I did and we realized that it’s high time for another trip.

We’ve been planning since this last Christmas to go to Vegas for Christmas 2005, and spent some time last night hemming and hawing about whether two trips to Vegas in the same year would be too much. What the hell were we thinking? Of course it’s not!

So, on June third, the Head + wife will be landing for the tenth time in Vegas, ready to get to the tables with some poker players who all have a similar urge to publish stuff on the Web. We’re going to be staying at the Golden Nugget because neither of us has stayed in “old Vegas” before, plus it’s cheap as hell. Airfare and 3 nights at the hotel cost us $650, NICE.

Now where did I put that spare liver?

Uh-oh..Sounds like trouble

Here it is folks…a reason to get those poker profits pumped up. No one got served, but nonetheless, It’s ON.

The wife and I spent our honeymoon at the Alladin. My birthday is June 7. Is it me, or does this sound a lot like providence at work?

Now I just gotta find the money…geez, that’s gonna be a lot of plasma to donate :)

A.I.

Artificial Intelligence? Nope, American Idol, but the intelligence contained therein is definitely artificial. The Mrs. is an American Idol fan, which I guess by proxy makes me one too. Thank God for that Intraweb thing during that time slot.

Last night I didn’t have to see too much of the show since I got home later than normal and still had to cook. While I’m in the kitchen, I hear a noise most disturbing….

Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo

It was as familiar as it was unpleasant, and it took me a second to place it. **accessing memory banks…located** Arsenio Hall Show….oh no, say it’s not so.

Coming out from the kitchen I find Randy Jackson not only prompting the male contestants to make this odious noise, but also to partake in the attendant fist circle motion that was Arsenio’s little gimmick. Even during it’s height, the Arsenio fist and noise thing wasn’t very cool, I wonder why he can’t grasp the fact that it’s even less so now?

Just when I think it’s impossible for my sensibilities to be offended any further, he refers to the male Idol contestants as ‘The Dogg Pound”. Mommy, make the bad man stop… Note to Randy: Snoop did this already in the early 90’s, and it belongs solely to him.

Jeezus, next thing we know, Randy Jackson will be calling himself the Don Mega. I kind of hope he does, as seeing him punched by Ice Cube would be worthy of a Pay-per-View style event.

Which brings me to my Randy Jackson Hypothesis. Everyone knows a white guy that acts WAY too artificially black. That’s Randy, except he actually IS black. That’s it, that’s the hypothesis. Most white folks are more black than Randy Jackson. God is definitely a cruel comedian.

The Light of Day

When you’re alone at night, even if you know where you’re going, you still feel like you are floundering a bit. Something about the lack of light relegating everything around you to an obscure shape makes it seem like you’re a bit lost even though you’re not, exactly. Finally, the sun peeks out from the horizon and invigorates you, spurring you forward on your path with a renewed vigor.

It seems to me the same holds true with poker. For so many years, our game has been relegated to the perpetual night of the back room, scorned by puritanical notions that claim a figurative monopoly on the light of day. Over the last, what, 3 to 4 years(?), more folks than ever have discovered the proverbial “back room”, and if that’s where the game continues then sooner or later people will leave, opting instead for sunshine and leaving us where we began.

PokerProf has a new post up from a new contributor talking about a new International Poker Association, and it sounds like their vision is a good one. Of all the fledgling organizations out there struggling to lift themselves up, I’m glad to see that this one chose the word ‘International’, because that’s what the game is. The consistency of its rules make it something that everyone can participate in, regardless of language or geography.

I posted before about the constant efforts by the powers that be to squash our game. The reason for doing so was an article that Roy Cooke wrote in CardPlayer. I emailed Roy, voicing my support and desire to help if there was some way that I could, and last night I actually received a response. It seems there is something that this little blogger can do, and that is try simply to round up a bit of support for the notion. Long story short, the powers at CardPlayers are beginning to get a bit reticent about Roy writing and pushing so much for such an organization, and seem to be leaning towards putting the kibosh on the subject unless he can show that there is support out there for such a thing.

So, if you are so inclined (and I certainly hope you are), send a mail to pokersVoice at aol dot com to voice your interest in seeing future columns on the subject, and to be included in future discussion. I truly believe that this little (well, not so little these days) community can actually contribute something very real to help ensure the future prosperity of this game.

Of all the material I’ve read thus far on the subject, and at the risk of sounding like a Cooke evangelist of sorts, I really think that he has the most cohesive vision for an association thus far regarding the fact that one unified organization needs to be formed. I think that this is a crucial point, because a whole bunch of smaller organizations will eventually end up scrapping with each other and getting little or nothing accomplished. The big money folks are never attracted to splinter groups, and are lot more open with their pockets when presented with the option to work with a unified whole.

Basketball has the NBA, football the NFL. If we really want to see this game be popular over the long haul, I think it behooves us to make every effort towards bringing about that formation of a NPA.

The light of dawn is beginning to peek through. Let us not be apathetic because of the present booming popularity and the warm sun. While the way is clear we really should be preparing for the evening that is eventually and inevitably on its way.

Check out my new Dubs

I’m approaching a mark I honestly didn’t think I would reach: Ninety days.

Ninety days, a lot of crap, a few decent pieces, and I still want to keep going. This little endeavor has certainly had some unexpected results.

I have been off of the Celexa for an entire sixty of these ninety days. Now, I’m all for better living through chemistry, but I’ve never been wholly OK with the anti-depressants other than for recreational purposes. They smack of artificiality, and not in the good way. When on a steady diets of these, there are things that you know should be making you feel some way or another, yet you don’t, and that in its own way is, well, depressing.

As an outsider reading, you must be asking “How did you come to be one of the legions of the anti-depressed?” Long story short, ’00 to ’02 a high-paying, unrealistically high-pressure sales job stole pieces of my soul and “broke” something in my brain. Imagine having a heart attack that lasts anywhere from four to eight hours, multiply it by every day, and you get the picture.

Many would say that blogging serves no purpose. After all, what are they really, but slightly edited snippets of the mundane soap opera that is life? I can’t help but disagree with those of the ‘no purpose’ school. It may be a bit tougher to find, but great insight can be found in a mundane snippet sometimes, just ask some of the folks who have improved their poker game through said mundane snippets. Move over little pink pills, I’m repairing myself one word at a time.

And now, on to other things...

There is new inductee on my Persons who ought to be Thrashed list. Okay, I don’t really have a list like that, but sometimes I think I should. The new inductees are none other than the folks who started Jamster and Dirty Hippo. Have you seen these? No? Well, turn to MTV or Comedy Central and I promise you they will rectify that in short order.

I noticed them a few months back popping up sporadically on Comedy Central (seemingly with the intent on souring my enjoyment of Friday Night Stand Up), and remember thinking to myself that no one could possibly want what they were selling. After all, how many people could possibly feel as though they need a spinning dub screensaver on their phone, to be accompanied by a lame SirMixaLot ring? Quite a few apparently, as the commercials in question have gone from annoying in their frequency to downright “quick, give me that rusty spoon so I can gouge out my eyes.”

Here’s to hoping that they go away quickly, because I would very much like to keep my eyes. I realize that this wish is tantamount to wishing for world peace, but I can dream, right? One thing is for sure: I’m obviously in the wrong damn business, because there seems to be an awful lot of money in them thar crappy bitmaps and MIDI tunes.

Staying with this train of thought, I long for an idea like that which makes me oodles of quick money. Straight from impulsive consumers right into my pockets. The trick seems to be doing that while maintaining a sense of personal dignity and not selling my soul in the process. Decisions, decisions. This brings an interesting question to mind: Would you rather be unbelievably rich, being hated my many and loved by few OR would you rather be upper-poor/lower-middle on the economic scale, but loved by all and hated by very few?

Put that in your pipe and smoke it for a while. Speaking of smoking, I’m long overdue for a date with my smooth blend of Turkish tobacco (Camels, for you non-smoking readers).

This is the crap that comes out when you have to spend six hours alone at work. Thanks for staying with another episode of my mundane soap opera. I have to get home now to console the Mrs., who it seems just bubbled out of two straight SnG’s and is mighty unhappy about it. Aaaaah, smell that springtime variance…..

Remastered Goodness

Here is sit, all brokenhearted
Tried to work,
But only farted.

Yes, it’s true; I’m sitting at work on this most auspicious of holidays, one of the very few instances that I’m actually jealous of the salaried folk. Oh well, it is what it is.

I wish I had some more substantial content to share, but all I can think about is the fact that I’m actually looking forward to taking a dump, as that is most likely going to be the only thing that breaks the monotony of the next six hours. The weather was beautiful this weekend (for once), so I spent most of it doing some constructive things other than poker, like socializing and poking my giant head outside for once.

Saturday evening was some good fun, and well, toe-down is about the only way to describe it. Stupid Stolichnaya.

I awoke on Sunday morning with full intentions of getting a post written, and while I still had the motor skills to type, the aforementioned vodka had slowed my thinking to the point of actually moving backwards, hence no post. What does one do in a condition such as this? Why, go out and spend some poker profit! After all, what fun is money if you don’t do anything with it?

Thanks to my new television, I am now a movie purchasing freak. A couple of weeks back, the wife and I made a score at Hollywood Video when they were having a sale on DVD’s, 3 for $30. So, for a nominal fee we added….

· Anchorman Uncut (I’m a sucker for anything Will Ferrell)
· City of God
· Garden State
· Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
· Napoleon Dynamite
· Hero

….to the collection. Yesterday though, I broke from my budget conscious tradition and went big, buying both The Ultimate Matrix Collection and The Alien Quadrilogy. Rush home, whip up a nice meal, herbally prepare, and then spend the next seven hours enveloped in the warm embrace of digitally remastered goodness. No computer screens, no virtual tables, just what the doctor ordered.

Now I’m ready to get back to the tables, and I have to work. Curses!

Since I’m sure many of you have a bit of extra time today, I thought you might enjoy Banned from Poo Mountain. Here’s hoping that you enjoyed it as much as I did, although I probably would have renamed it “Pothead discovers Richard Brautigan.”

Thinking Big. Head Much Bigger. Talk at ya soon…..

That Crushing Feeling

Yesterday, after finishing some schoolwork that took me less time than I thought it would, I jumped into a $5 SnG on Stars and had a feeling that I now realize I had only thought I had experienced.

The feeling of completely CRUSHING a game. No doubts, no other considerations. The other players simply had no chance.

Now, I know you’re thinking “Whooptee-fucking-doo, crushing a $5 SnG is no big feat for most people possessing opposable thumbs and the basic ability to walk upright” and of course you’re right.

While it has never been a big problem to beat and/or place well in the $5 and $10 SnG’s, I mention it not in some lame attempt at bragging, but due to the sheer joy of finally truly experiencing that ‘Crushing’ feeling. I have read about it, and I have heard others tell tale, but to finally experience it makes me very excited and somewhat relieved. Finally, after 18 months of playing, I’ve taken a mental step I’ve known to be necessary, but couldn’t seem to hold onto. One of sitting down, immediately identifying weaknesses and styles, and then unmercifully pounding on the others like my own personal redheaded stepchild.

The humble $$ level is of no import, it was a beautiful thing.

I’ll be trying to get in some play today, but I have to bathe the dogs and help clean the house since we have some folks coming over tonight. The couple coming over are in the throes of pre-engagement love, so it should be amusing to see from the outside the way that the wife and I once were. You know what I’m talking about….a time when you and your other half looked like two people suffering from congenital heart failure permanently trying to resuscitate each other. I plan on having some relaxing fun, as I have been alone with my own mind way too much over the last couple of months, and even though I know I’ll regret it tomorrow, I think I may just go for what I imagine (having never actually witnessed one) to be an AlCantHang drunk.

Updates tomorrow, provided I still have a motor skill or two left to my name.