Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Purgatory involving a chair.

That post title seems infinitely more appropriate for something else. An obscene art piece, perhaps.

Today caught me noticing in a big way that I seemed to have developed an annoying habit. More accurately stated, that would be another annoying habit, as I'm sure the list is longer than I would be comfortable being consciously aware of. I'm aware of the farting around the house issue, the unintentional scratching/adjustment of "equipment" in public, being easily and disproportionately annoyed by a lot of little things, but beyond that I don't look too hard. It might have the consequence of making me paranoid--god forbid.

After finishing some daily sort-of-required pseudo-job related activities, I decided to make the commitment to not move from this chair (save for bladder or nicotine-related issues) until I wrote something, anything.

Goddamnit, the neighbor kids just rang the doorbell. This means that the retard terriers we so foolishly purchased 4 and 5 years ago, respectively, begin going apeshit, which completely fucks my line of thought. Nothing works in shutting them up. Coercion, beatings, begging, none of it. We've largely given up, on the conclusion that learning to sit and lay down took up what little brainspace was available and there's just none left to be had for things like Remembering Who People Are or Realizing That Small Children Are Not Vampires From Space Here To Assasinate You.

Okay, they're gone. Back to the business at hand. The Work.

With the internal commitment made, I set to work about my duties confident that whatever it was I would write would come to me after spending some time in the waters of what is largely mindless work. Or perhaps something would come to me while I was trying to wade through the ridiculous pile of shit that's touted as news to find something at least resembling the remotely relevant while trying to search and better fill the gaps I'm ever painfully aware of in my knowledge of various subjects. Still nothing

Here's the newest annoyance: I'd guess that largely due my being painfully aware of just how much I still don't know well, over the last four months or so I've been trying to read and listen to certain podcasts (Alan Watt's podcast being the most prevalent) while trying to engage in meaningful reading. Thing is, this isn't just mindless music, this stuff. It requires thought--something not effectively done while trying to read and think about other things at the same time. So here's how that's been going. Read, listen, read, ohwaitwhatdidhejustsay, rewind, listen, read, ad infinitum.

After realizing I wanted to punch myself in the face, it dawned.

When you start annoying yourself, time to reevaluate. Trying to cram everything in left little to gain entrance and take up permanent residence. The available space is large but the way in, evidently, isn't ready to accommodate hydrant-drinking, as it were, so I guess I'll stop doing that.

I'm also going to stop sitting in this chair because, quite frankly, my ass hurts.

(What can I say. It's something, anything.)