Thursday, February 23, 2006

Thursday Night Live Blog: Thoughts as they come to me.

7:23—Home now. Dogs fed. Dinner Cooking. Bowl of tobacco ready. Let’s get this show on the road.

7:30—An announcer just said, post human interest story and as the girl went out on the ice, “This may be another Olympic moment.” Aren’t they all Olympic moments? Call me too literal, but come on. Speaking of annoying constant streams of human interest crap, do you think one day we might have an Olympic scandal where the athlete fucks up their otherwise normal and ordinary life in some way just so NBC will do a human interest piece on them so they aren’t left out?

7:37--Girl dedicates race to her late future mother-in-law while sniffling. Am I just faded when I think that's about the strangest thing I've heard in a while?

7:39--We have a news anchor lady (news anchorette?) named Anita Cochran. Every time I'm not looking and hear the commercial announcer say her name, it sounds like "I need a cock ring" and it makes me laugh. This has gone on for three years and I'm still laughing.

7:43--Now that I'm considering what I just wrote, for some reason I'm starting to wonder a bit if I need (or want) a cockring. The more I try not to, the more I wonder. You probably didn't need or want to know that. Never mind.

7:50--I had this thought last night, but what the hey...You know what is completely awesome and makes the Olympics tolerable at the same time? Break out the iPod. Insert headphones. Wait for figure skating. Turn down TV. Turn up gangsta rap (Young Jeezy is a good one to start with). Thank me later.

7:58--Trying to pay attention to typing, cooking, keeping tabs on Pauly's live-blogging (or, waiting for it to start), and the TV while trying to actually think is getting hard. I'm multi-tasking myself into an oblivious frenzy.

8:30--Where the hell did that half hour go? Rach just got home and we're gonna eat. Back after another short bit.

8:58--The addict has spoken. American Idol has begun at the Head household.

9:01--Jesus, Paula is squeezed and taped tonight.

9:03--Christ Almighty, they've begun the group singing. That's another thing I despise on this show I had forgotten about. Sooooo variety show cheese.

9:06--Good Lord (why am I invoking the names of God so much?), yet another recap.

9:10--That Taylor Hicks dude kicks fuckin ass. He should win, too bad it'll never happen. Well, not unless he gets some nice tits--and quickly. It seems that tits are the one thing that runs common through all the American Idol winners. I guess the public just likes tits....

9:17--I figured Becky would have made it past the first cut based on looks alone. Not that I'm unhappy at the accurate cut...just suprised. And why do we have to hear a person re-sing what was previously a suck performance?

9:23--Looks like mini-BadBlood, Chris, is safe for another week. Quite good.

9:30--Byby Patrick. I'm sad we won't see more of atomic collagen mom, even though it's another accurate judgement. What the fuck he was thinking when he chose to sing Melissa Etheridge I will never know.

9:32--Thirty-four minutes. The Norhern Bath Tissue of television. I'd say that's pretty accurate considering the show makes me feel like an ass that just got wiped. Heehee...I have no idea if that's a patently bad or good thing, but goddamn it makes me laugh.

9:41--Carolina Kostner from Italy just skated. Too bad the performance wasn't any better than other Costner's.

9:52--Here's one of my referrer's tonight--Look upon the youth and rejoice, people.

9:56--Visa asks us, "What does it take to be an Olympic athlete?" I'll take that one for free, Alex. Money. And some drugs. Wait, I mean "What is money and what are drugs"

10:07--Damn this is fun. Here's another referrer. Read the Stupid, Smelly, Hippies post and rejoice. Funniest . Post. Ever.

10:17--Rachel just informed me, via Freakenomics, that Cody was the #1 low income name. Now tell me this guy isn't real, bitches :) (while I realize the picture is not him, I believe it has the simple explanation of there being a bit of a weight problem, as in "I'm abnormally embarrased by it", behind the scenes)

10:30--Word to the Wheaton, ya'll. Way up on the chipcount. Thank God Pauly keeps us up to date.

10:50--Did I just lose time? Sorry bout that--NBC-induced coma. Kind of like the nods from doing too much herion. Where was I?

10:54--Aww, fuckit, I think I'll just close up shop for the night. Gonna chill and watch The Boondocks. Gaze upon this waste to time and virtual space and rejoice.