Monday, December 12, 2005

Brief Highlights

All right boys and girls, gather around for a little story. It’s gonna be a great one. You might laugh, you might cry, but most likely you will just be confused. Don’t’ worry yourself, though, you won’t be any more confused than I am at the moment.

The total trip time for the Mrs. and me is about 4.25 days. It is now about 4:30 PM on Day 3 (Monday) and I’ve been up for the last 38 hours, moving for about 30 of those. Sitting here at the wobbly table in our hotel room, I am having trouble coming up with words to describe the whirlwind of the last three days and there is still over a full day left to go. Here are a couple of tidbits…

--(Friday) You knew this was coming, but I found myself Human-Bobbleheaded drunk at the MGM mixed game. Poker played on Friday=0. I did get to meet Daddy, though, a rare and important event. That guy is a role model.
--(Friday) Mrs Head wins a $20 Roshambo match with F-Train (former blogsphere master champeen and all around helluva guy). Joe and I each put $100 on her to challenge and beat Phil Gordon at Roshambo. She does so with style in front of a packed poker room. I vaguely remember yelling “Oh, tits!” or “Oh, snap!” or something to this effect and then carrying her on my shoulders for a small victory lap. I’m a fookin’ reatard. Phil Gordon=Tilted. DonkeyPuncher really is Usher. Thanks, Commish!
--(Saturday) The tornado finally touched down (what other metaphor did you expect me to use? I’m live in fuckin’ Kansas) and the day goes by in a complete blur with all of the tourney festivities. The highlight of my day was taking $5 off Wil when I picked StudioGlyphic for the win. Thank God I actually scratched out a few notes, because the bar was open like a porn star with a deep itch to scratch. Worry not, we beat that thing inside out. The only poker of the day was played in the tournament, where I exited around 63rd. Poorly played on all streets is all I can say about that, but I did drop the hammer on Shelly.
--(Sunday) Betting on horses at the sportsbook and hanging out with the group. There was a lot of pain as, once again, the Chiefs choked and I didn’t hit a single damn horse. Licked my wounds at 3950 in Mandalay Bay with Mrs. Head, BG, Bill Rini, THG, April, and PokerProf. I’ll have my thoughts on the restaurant in a few days, but the one thing I do know is that our waitress made at least $300 in tips from that meal. Brutal but worth it.
--(Monday, 9 AM) I haven’t slept the entire night. Played craps with Mrs. Head, Jen Leo, Biggestron, CJ, Travis, Royal, Jaxia, and Pauly at the Casino Royale after a bender in the AlCanthang Crew Penthouse. Left at around 3 AM (maybe it was later) to continue bending and ended up in a 2/4 game at the IP with Iggy, TP, Pauly, Derek, Jaxia, and later in the early morn, GeekandProud. Ridiculous pots. I counted a total of four hands that weren’t live-straddled and played in the dark. Suckout donkey fun of the highest caliber, with the extra bonus being the extreme tilt of four different 2/4 pro’s who were sitting at the table when we took it over. Left the game at about 6 AM or so and drank Hieneken with the boys until about 11. I have finally earned my degenerate merit badge for this trip.

Of course, this is brief. So, so damn brief. Besides, it’s hard to write much more when all I can do is sit here and hope that at sometime in my life I will see my ultimate dream realized; Hot-swappable feet. Mine hurt so bad I feel like I’m walking around on nubs. If my vision was clearer, I might be able to check. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to head out again to drop the hammer on an unsuspecting video poker machine (I’ve got pics, but I have to wait to post them because I forgot the cable from my camer.). first trip report installment should be sometime Thursday if I’m still alive.

At 39 hours, I’ve got $20 on Death to win.