Wednesday, November 30, 2005

One of those days

First, make sure to head on over to give Otis and Joe their deserved accolades for showing NaNoWriMo who’s boss by successfully hitting the 50K word benchmark. Enduring such a month of writing is definitely a tall order, so heap some praise on what are two of the ‘sphere’s best wordsmiths.

Bob was forced to withdraw from the competition because of an injury caused by carrying too much junk, rendering him unable to sit and type for any sustained period. Don’t blame him, blame Mother Nature and her bountiful gifts.

Anyone who knows me at all knows that nearly each and every new day brings a fresh annoyance with which I must deal. The latest?

Cyber Monday.

If you watched any local or national news program at any time on Monday you likely heard the term and saw segments devoted to it at least once per hour. Life is steadily becoming more and more of a waking dream gone wrong, with every dire prediction from sci-fi novels past coming to life right before our eyes, or at the very least waiting in the wings to do so. I’m sure I don’t need to tell any of my tens of readers that there is no such thing as Cyber Monday—some mid-level media douchebag somewhere in some meeting decided to coin the term (because that’s just what we need, more new terms) and media outlets tried as hard as they can to push the hell out of it so that the masses can be primed and ready to stretch the limits of their ever-expanding debt to corporations next year. Never mind that it is there weren’t any online retailers having “Cyber Monday Sales”, they said it so it must exist.

I guess we just add it to the big ball of nothingness wherein the situation in Iraq is going swimmingly and increasing the power of government to spy on its own population is actually good for us. Writing about it really doesn’t accomplish anything other than give me an opportunity drone on about an idiot subject that most have already forgotten about, but hey, some MTV-sodden kid might wander by here, so in the interest of saving the children I throw it out there.

You heard me right; I do it for the children.

What’s the over/under for WalMart Wednesday coming to fruition?
How about Take Your Child to Get a Credit Card Tuesday?
Throw the College Fund into the Economy Thursday? Anyone?

With things continuing at their current velocity I fully expect that in another decade we will have lost the calendar as we know it. Instead, it will be integrated into our TeleScreen360 as a multidimensional data model that will tell us hour by hour what holiday we should be celebrating (and consequently shopping for) and what is the appropriate style, color, and placement of the ribbon that we will wear for said holiday to demonstrate to our fellow patriots that we are not dissenters and/or potential terroristas.

As you can see, the ChristmaHanaKwanzikah season, per usual, is making me holly-jolly as hell.

I am, however, very thankful for the few things that do not make my giant head want to explode—

Booze, Bloggers, and Vegas.

Mrs. Head and I will be in town on the afternoon of the 9th, and a few hours later I plan on being Human-BobbleHeaded drunk at the MGM for Joaquin’s Mixed Game festivities. I haven’t decided yet if I’ll jump into the games because I play each at the level of “barely functioning retard”, but I can guarantee that I’ll be losing lots of money to my bar tab.

Merry Christmas to me (and to you all in a few short days).