Adventures in Bubbling

Finally, I was actually home on a Wednesday to watch the WPT. Not a bad episode, but not a great one either (damn voice-over commercials), although it was pretty entertaining witnessing the drawing power of Tuan Le and Humberto Brenes antics. I felt kind of bad for the other guy…well not all that bad; his payday was none too shabby.

While I watched, I had it in mind to play a bit of poker. I didn’t really feel like spending any money because I wanted to pay more attention to the TV than poker, so I registered for the WSOP 400 FPP qualifier that sent 9 people to the round 2 on Sunday. 3 ½ hours later, I bubbled out in 10^th. Yeah, that sucked, but honestly I shouldn’t have even made it that far. I started out well, but two separate 5 to 1 shots sucked out on me before the first break, and from then on it was scratch and claw poker the whole way. Every time my stack would work it’s way to ‘almost respectable’ the blinds would shoot up again and I would be short, which forced me into making moves I wouldn’t normally be making. Even though my cards were crap in comparison to the cards I was up against, the poker gods saw fit to reward me with some seriously long shot suckouts, but only enough to keep me afloat. Example, my A8s vs. A9o. My shortness forced me to push, and I sucked out a straight. In my defense, I felt terrible at the beats I was handing out, and I knew I was living on borrowed time, but with my pitiful stack I had to gamboool in many spots, so I don’t feel too bad in general about how I played.

I’ll get there sooner or later, I’m sure of it. Although, 19 months into my poker playing life, it’s looking like it may be later.

In further nonsensical news, it seems I have been found out. Looks like he’s about to bubble as well, but he’s hanging on for at least one more week.

Here is what I’ll be thinking about today as I wander off for work: Is there a high ranking poker god of Vietnamese descent? After watching Tuan Le last night, and watching Toto Leonidas (wait a minute, I don't think he's Vietnamese...oh well he's a drawing master so worth mentioning as well) in the US Poker Championships these last few weeks (add to that last years USPC), I think they have some kind of special link to some sort of Vietnamese drawing god. Or, is it just the fact that there are quite a few great players that are Vietnamese and we just happen to see one or the other on a good day at the final table on TV?

One thing is for sure, if I ever happened to be at a table with Toto or any of the others, here’s how things would go:

1) Soil myself

2) Excuse myself and go clean up

3) Go to confession + make small sacrifice to any and all poker gods

4) Return to table and hang on for dear life

Have a great day, and may you all avoid all bubbles.

Herpes and Wine

“I have genital herpes, but I’m not going to let that stop me”
--Some dude from a new herpes commercial

Stop you from what? Baking a cake? Hiking or bike riding? Banging that genital herpes chick from the other commercial?

These are the questions I couldn’t help but ask after Mrs. Head and I finished a nice bottle of Qupé 1999 Syrah. I have to say, I like the way good wine makes me think.

“I am NOT drinking merlot!”

Yeah, I finally saw Sideways this weekend. Paul Giamatti totally got gypped on awards, he was awesome.

Iggy commented that the orginal (British) The Office was great, so having never seen it and being a fan of the US redux, maybe someone can point me in the direction of an easy (and perhaps free) way to get a couple of episodes to check out?

Darice had the idea of doing a private blogger table on Party on a semi-regular basis. Stop over and offer any other suggestions if any come to mind. Hell, if it was at a set time, I could actually schedule time out to be there and at least railbird, and only once or twice a month would take away any –EV worries of sitting down at such a table to show off my ‘mad cash game skillz’.

Lastly, but certainly not leastly (<--yes that was intentional), be sure to keep Felicia in your thoughts, as tomorrow is the day she goes under the knife.

I’m trying Think Big about poker, but alas, I must continue to devote my few big thoughts to the drudgery of schoolwork. At least my head is consistently Much Bigger.

(trudges off to be immersed in ‘higher’ learning)

Here she coooomes....

I wonder sometimes where in the heck I’d be if it wasn’t for other bloggers. Joanne illuminated the reason why canucks have to answer questions for sweepstakes winnings. Felicia suggested a few books to read that I imagine I should have read some time ago. I ordered The Psychology of Poker and Killer Poker, and after reading about them, I think they are going to help a ton with what are the biggest problems with my game at this point, the psychological/emotional aspect. Many Thanks!

I only played in one SnG last night, took 2^nd, and that’s that. There is precious little time for poker at the moment, but I’m still trying to get some in at least every other day so that by the time the June WBPT Event rolls around I still remember that a flush beats a straight.

Of course in the grand tradition of talking about useless things, today is as good as any other to talk about Miss USA. You truly know that there is nothing but crap on TV when Miss USA is the best thing going. After another disappointing episode of Poker Superstars Invitational we turned to the pageant, which was our last, but only, choice of things to watch while doing schoolwork. I decided at that point to spend the next hour emulating The Donald:

“This is the classiest pageant in the history of the world, with most beautiful women in the solar system. It has the most gold, the most celebrities and easily has the classiest and highest television ratings in every country on earth. You know, I was on the phone just yesterday with the King of Dubai, and he was telling me just how much he loves this classy operation, how much his people love me and the pageant, and how he should probably give me some money because of the general classiness I exude. It’s really just incredible and it’s the first time this pageant has been done in such a classy manner….(etc. etc.)”

Needless to say, at this point Mrs. Head was doing her best to try and tune me out, but hey, the dog’s were interested in my Trump diatribe, so it wasn’t a total loss. Then there’s my nemesis, Billy Bush, who is like a worse version of Ryan Seacrest, if that’s possible. I’m not sure why, maybe it’s because he’s short or something, but he annoys me to no end. To be sure, the entire cast of Entertainment Tonight, E!, TV Guide Channel ‘correspondents’ have the same effect on me, but Billy seemed to stand out last night. Every time I happen upon one of those shows or channels, I wonder what it would be like if my job was to talk about commercials advertising other commercials, which pretty much sums up what they do. Yeesh.

Then there is the issue of celebrity judges. Perhaps I simply don’t understand since I’m not a celebrity (other than in my own head), but is great knowledge suddenly bestowed upon you once you are officially declared a celebrity? Sugar Ray Leonard judging a beauty pageant? I’d gladly take any advice or judgment he may feel like handing down when it comes to boxing, but if I was a beauty pageant contestant I would be annoyed. Perhaps this is why I’m not a contestant. Well, that, and the fact I’m not a beautiful woman. Oh yeah, the swimmer gold medalist guy? Why? Isn’t he still like 16 or something? He can’t judge correctly whether or not he should drink and drive, but can judge an important pageant? Go figure.

Miss North Carolina was the winner (our second choice), although Mrs. Head and I agreed that Miss New York should have won. Now I can rest easy though, we have a new Miss USA, and if you believe The Donald…”she’s the classiest and highest rated Miss USA in the history of time.”

Thankfully, today is Tuesday, so I can look forward to Scrubs, The Office, and The Shield buoying my TV watching spirits. Have a great day, everyone!

Idiocy is still King

I’m a pretty rock-like tournament player, this is no big secret. It works well for the most part due to the silliness of many online tourney players, especially the ultra-low buyin crapshoots I tend to play in once a week or so. Just wait for a premium hand or a big blind special and then punish the loose folks who will call anything or want to try and run a WPT style bluff on you with their 92 off.

The thing I can’t seem to wrap my noodle around is why patience and good sense seem to leave me once the final stages of a tourney can be seen in the distance. In the early and middle stages of a tourney, it’s not a problem to be what the Doritos commercials have referred to in the past as “bold AND daring”. However, once we reach the later stages, I’ve been turning into an impatient idiot, a scared little bitch, or both.

Last night was a perfect example, yet again. $3 Sunday Crapshoot on Stars, 1850 entrants. We’re down to 105 and I’m approximately middle of the pack. Per usual, I get sat down at the table with all of the giant stacks in the tourney and am simply biding time. I get AKo in mid position and the player in front of me (super tight) with about half my stack makes it 8000 to go (1K/2/K/100). After considering my options, I folded. Dumb, dumb, dumb. I had position and chips, but folded like a punk because I didn’t want to get involved in a coin flip.

Compounding this error, I get AQo the very next hand and limp. SB min-raises, BB and I call. It’s worth noting here that the BB had been playing pretty wild the whole time I was at the table and catching some extremely lucky cards with marginal or crap hands. Flop J 8 9, 2 clubs. BB bets out 8000 into the 12000 pot, and I push on the (insane) logic the I have a straight draw and 2 overs, plus I thought he was just trying to buy the pot. Insta-called, he flips over the J9 for flopped two pair and I’m sent packing, deservedly so for such an idiot play. I knew when I did it that it was the wrong thing to do, yet my hand on the laptop seemed to be acting independently of my brain. Maybe that spliff from earlier had something to do with it.

If anyone has any advice or techniques they use in the later stages to keep themselves from egregiously fucking up and feels like sharing, it would be most appreciated, but not wholly necessary. I really just needed to write this in order to publicly berate myself so hopefully I’ll learn from mistakes that are in the 'completely obvious' department. The later the tournament stage, the less I seem to be valuing my good holdings just because of the blind size, and that REALLY needs to stop. It’s also one of those things that just comes with practice. Due to my style of play, I often come into the latter tourney stages with a short stack, and have no problems playing. The problems come when I have a decent or large stack, which seems counterintuitive, but it’s true, nonetheless.

Must. Stop. Fucking. Up.

Canadian Math Skills

You’re probably wondering what’s the deal with today’s post title. Last night when I arrived home, Mrs. Head was on the tail end of entering some kind of spa sweepstakes from Sephora, and was browsing the rules. Incidentally she came across the following:

“The winners will be notified by phone, e-mail or U.S.

mail by June 8, 2005. If the selected entrant is a Canadian resident, before being declared a winner, selected entrant must correctly answer, unaided, a time-limited, mathematical skill-testing question to be administered by e-mail or by telephone at a pre-arranged, mutually convenient time.

If selected entrant is found to be ineligible or otherwise not in compliance with these official rules, or, where the selected entrant is a Canadian resident, if selected entrant fails to correctly answer the skill-testing question, prize will be forfeited and awarded to an alternate winner in Sponsors' sole discretion in accordance with these official rules.”

This made me wonder…Are Canadians just that good at math or does Sephora have something against Canadians and are trying to find a sneaky way to exclude them? Maybe they’re afraid of getting sued by some random American if a Canadian should win (perhaps a Canadian should sue for sweepstakes discrimination). Unfortunately, I don’t think very many reasons, no matter how fantastic or ludicrous, would surprise me.

Idiocy Tidbit

I had school all last night, so unfortunately my brain hasn't had much of a chance to put together anything cohesive. So without further ado, here is another example of the rampant idiocy that our society seems to be beset with:

Man arrested for paying with $2 Bills.

I especially loved the Baltimore Police spokespersons comment:

"It's a sign we're all a little nervous in the post-9/11 world."

Profound. If we use two dollar bills, the terrorists win!

Knowing and Undergoing

“…a man who knows is quite different than a man who undergoes.”
--from Foucalt’s Pendulum by Umberto Eco.

It’s been said in a million and one different ways. I know that everyone already knows this, but being reminded is always a good thing. Knowing something is not the same as actually doing it. Once I finally decided to make IT my ‘career’, I started actually putting some study in, and started getting some certifications. My first cert (-ification, not the breath mint) came in ’01, my CCNA, and boy was I pumped! Judging by the adverts, riches with little effort would be mine for the asking. I hate the idea of attending a money gouging college, who needs it? (I still don’t think that people necessarily “need” college. OK, some definitely do, but that’s for another time and place) Another basic cert or two and I’ll swim in ginormous salary pools. Oops.

It didn’t take long for me to come across the term “lab rat”. This is someone with the requisite certifications who has no practical experience. Well, shit, time to have a conversation with myself.

“Self, I guess I can’t fool anyone into blindly handing over a high-paying job, what options do I have now? “

“Get your dumb ass into the trenches and start working”, Self replied.

Good advice. Now, after a few years of actual work, I’m nearly finished with my undergraduate degree (hey, shut up, at least I’ll get it done before 30) and have been paying dues for the last few years. I’m still not exactly where I would like to be, but I’m a hell of a lot closer that I was, and I’ve learned a lot more along the way.

A coulple of nights ago, after reading the beginning quote, I finally realized that Self was basically giving me the same advice that it had in ’01, but this time it applied to poker. Get in the trenches. Play through that shit. Gut it out.

I’ve spent much of my time as a poker “lab rat”. Lot’s of study, reading, and writing, but not so much actual ‘undergoing’. I’ve read all over 2+2 about downswings much larger than mine, and here I was with the audacity to bitch and moan about a minimal 30 BB swing. Iggy had a tough month last month (or was it the month before?) and made mention of it. He gutted through it and has emerged golden, likely on top of his game more than ever. Pauly has made mention of the same in his documentations. There are countless others out there who have, and are, playing through it.

It was tough to admit this to myself, but it had to be done, and now that it’s on the page, it’s strangely liberating. I offer many apologies for boring (and likely annoying) those who stop by here, and of course, many thanks for actually coming back.

.There has been enough knowing. It’s time to start undergoing.

No sleep for you!

Here I sit, all brokenhearted.
Tried to play last night, but again played retarded.
Went to work today and took a chance,
Tried to write a decent post, had nothing but inane rants.

If you came here today looking for any quality, I don’t think it’s gonna happen since I’m cruising on about two hours of sleep. To say it was ‘fitful’ would be putting an overly positive spin on it. I did have my first poker nightmare, though. In my dream I tilted off my entire online bankroll, so vivid I actually had to check when I woke up. Fun stuff, maybe I should lay off the spicy food or something.

For something worthwhile, gentle reader, you might enjoy this thread I came across on 2+2 in the wee hours. It hits a bit on what I was rambling about yesterday, and made me feel a bit better.

I’ll try not to be a basket case about dumb shit tomorrow, see you then.

Expecting a Loss

Yesterday I took a proverbial punch in the stomach and found myself down $62. More specifically, -10BB at 2/4 and -11BB at $1/2. These things are going to happen, and I know that such a loss is barely worth mentioning. It’s not like I left the tables bruised and bloody, just a gut shot that stung a bit, but with every loss comes some serious thinking.

I played well at the $2/4 tables, but I simply got sucked out on during a couple of key hands. Couple that with the fact that I won 2 pots out of approximately 250 hands, and it was pretty obvious that the cards were not going to fall for me. Then I proceeded to make the extremely grievous error of dropping down to $1/2 and morphing into super weak tight boy, folding hands that would have been winners (that I wouldn’t normally have folded) and pushing hands that were obviously beat. Needless to say, after a few of these I decided to close up shop in a very grumpy mood.

So, why was I on tilt so bad for the next few hours? What I think may be the answer came to me this morning while making myself some bacon. (For those who may be unaware, bacon has the magical ability to make everything better) I came into the session yesterday truly expecting to win, and I think that for me this is a bad thing. This may seem counterintuitive, since expecting to lose can easily turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy, but I’ll explain why it seems to work better for me, and perhaps for you, too.

I don’t go into a game truly expecting to lose money. When I say that I ‘expect to lose’ it’s my way of steeling myself against what are usually the inevitable suckouts and bad play at these low limits. In the back of my head, I still believe that I can beat these folks. It’s sort of a modified “Expect the worst, hope for the Best” train of thought. If I go into a session expecting to get beat up, I don’t worry about it nearly as much and will continue to play my best game. If I end up actually getting beat up, no biggie, and if I take away a win, so much the better. Yesterday I came into the session expecting, nay, demanding a win. I won my first two pots pretty early, and expected things to continue on the same course. After all, I think it, therefore it IS, right? Wrong.

An unyielding expectation of a winning session left me $62 lighter, with a river of raging blood coursing through my veins and the inexplicable urge to scream like a monkey and throw feces at my PC's (wheee, rhyming is fun). This expectation to win, in my case, makes me feel like I’ve lost to an inferior and sets the tilt-meter into the red. If I expect to get beat up and win, I feel like the triumphing underdog. Maybe I’ve watched WAY too many Rocky movies, but it’s what works for me, and hopefully I won’t make the same mistake again, at least for a while.

By using it to avoid tilt and other bad play nastiness, expecting to lose just may be the key to your next big win. (For extra insurance, it may also be +EV to eat some bacon while you play.)

My Freeroll Story

I was hoping to post today with some great news about the WSOP freeroll that I played on Full Tilt (bonus code HHead) yesterday, but alas, all I can bring to the table is a bit of disappointment.

1400 and some-odd people were signed up, but I think that only 500-600 were actually playing. At my first table there were only 3 humans, and it took me two full levels to convince the other two players that we could make money just taking turns stealing the blinds from the people that weren’t there. Finally they understood, sort of. One guy was with it from the start, the other guy just couldn’t seem to grasp the concept that a raise would take the blinds from these folks. There were three or four times where he would call and check it down with the absent player, and three times the absent player won. Ugh. He was wasting time, and his demonstrated lack of mental acuity was getting really annoying, because I knew when we finally got some players he would not be lasting long.

Finally, the humans started trickling in. Guy on my right and I were getting along well (the dumbass from the first hour had helped build our solidarity), and just stayed out of each others way while we chopped down the giant stack who came to the table. I love giant stacks in the middle stages who assume they are invulnerable simply by virtue of said big stack.

Fast forward. There is 40-45 people left when I finally get a table change, and hip hop hooray, it’s Shelly! With blinds at 1K/2K ante 250, she was getting pretty short w/ around 14K. Hell, I wasn’t exactly rich, as I only had about 25K or so. I decided to get aggressive with an AJ, getting called by an AK, and fortunately that whore sucked a J out of the deck for me to double me up to about 50K. Sweet, I had some time now. Shelly went out on a 77 when she had to push and got nailed with a 10 10, and I was all alone again. It was sad seeing her bust, as I had visions of a blogger comeback and stampede to the finish.

After taking a couple of pots, I was still sitting with about the same 50K when we are down to 27. After being moved to my new table, I find myself UTG with JJ, and everyone at my table has at least 3x my stack, so I raise to 6x BB in the hopes of getting called by a coinflip or inferior hand, and I get raised from 12K to 24K. the back of my head is yelling “Higher PP! Abort, you giant headed monkey! I decide to go ahead and push and take my chances, on the logic that I was still a really low stack and would need to double up to have any chance at winning. Dammit, the guy had AA and I couldn’t manage a second suckout. It did make me feel a little better that the flop came all undercards, which I would have pushed on, in any case.

Not a bad performance, but I can’t help but be disappointed. I just wasted 3.5 hours and had nothing to show, not even a token payout. Then Mrs. Head pipes up: What else would you have done with that 3.5 hours?”

OK, fine. Most likely nothing, point taken. (I may have saved the world though or something, you never know…….)

April Fools Question

I am not a Catholic, so I must ask, since it popped into my head this morning with the news that the Pope’s health has taken a drastic turn for the worse:

“Would Catholics be super-pissed, or would they simply be relieved if they found out that it was a massive April Fool’s joke perpetrated by the Vatican?”

If I was Pope, I’d probably try it. Discuss.

Poker is an Asscock

(title courtesy of Mrs. Head)

I was hoping to get out of class early last night so I could take over my spot at the table for the WPBT tourney.

Didn’t happen.

It’s probably best, since Mrs. Head made it to 40^th hanging on with the thinnest of stacks and the worst cards, whereas I most likely would have gone out earlier on some kind of dumbass play.

Here is a card summary courtesy of Mrs. Head: My cards sucked. Highest hand all night was a pair of 6’s. I saw three Aces, all with a 2 or a 3 kicker. It’s like I got slapped with some kind of unlucky asscock. (OK, I admit it, she didn’t really write that, it’s just a short summary of a longer diatribe)

Other than the cards though, it was a blast, and she thanks all of the folks she played with and spoke to for making it fun, including Shelly, April, UpforPoker (CJ?), John Paul, and Pauly. Apologies to anyone she missed, she wasn’t sure who everyone was and didn’t feel like taking a bunch of notes.

Highlight of the evening: Finding out that “asscock” is allowed in chat.

Asscock, Asscock, Asscock. Use it in a sentence today.

PS—If your feeling the blues from work, check out the StB’s haiku in the comments of the previous post. Nice.

Haiku for the Corporate Monkey

Bland colors painted,
with motivational quips.
Decomposing soul.

Semi-private walls,
Holding like the strongest grip.
Case of the mondays.

(Geez, I gotta find somemthing to do)

Subtle Tilt: The Devil Inside

Last night was a losing night, -3 BB. Why is this worth taking up space on a page to mention? Subtle tilt didn’t get me, that’s why. The games last night weren’t quite as loose and sloppy as they were on Monday, but they were still decent. I started out on $2/4, but these were way too tight (pots averaging about 4 BB) so I dropped down to the looser $1/2, where they were running at least 7 10 BB/pot.

Right out of the gate, I get KK. I love great hands like this but am always worried when I get them on the first hand. After a preflop 3-bet with 5 people coming along for the ride, the flop comes AA2 and is 3 bet in front of me, so I feel I have to dump it. I suppose that this could be argued as weak playing given the size of the pot, but it turns out my read was good since the SB had A2 for the flopped full house. Ugh. Over the next 2 orbits I had quite a few really good starting hands, most coming with position. The problem was that either the flop didn’t cooperate (at all) or the river would save someone who had been calling against my top holding. I managed to get rivered five times within those first three orbits, and I could feel the subtle tilt coming on.

I opened up another table to play while I battled at the first one, and resolved to do one thing: Keep playing my good holdings aggressively, even though I’ve been getting crucified by suckouts thus far. This is much easier said than done for me, because when things go as they were last night, you can hear the pinging of the fish radar noticeably increase.

Fish Radar?

Yes, fish radar. I call it fish radar in general, but it applies to good players as well as fish. I can’t exactly blame them either, given the amount of hands I happened to be playing, and losing. The one or two decent players at the table kept coming at me, of course, because they immediately tagged due to the sheer amount of hands played in only a few orbits. 14 hands in three full orbits, I would have tagged me as a loose fish too, but goddamnit, I had an unusually high amount of playable starting hands! It worked out eventually, as the aforementioned decent players at the table finally realized I wasn’t the fish they originally thought once some of my later hands started to hold up. Hell, one of them even commented on the fact. I wish it would have taken them a bit longer to notice, however, because it took away from my comeback profit.

Next comes the second, and most often seen incarnation of the “Fish Radar”. Once I got rivered for the third or fourth time, any time I was in the hand so were the loose fish, no matter what. You could literally hear them thinking, “This time is my turn to suckout.” They all had tone and were looking to knock me out of the sky. Thankfully the cards turned, I was able to throw out some chaff, and eventually escaped the fishy missiles.

Here is why I’m proud of my loss: As I stated earlier, I’m normally very susceptible to the subtle tilt, slipping quickly into weak/tight mode when my good hands don’t hold up. By continuing to play my good holdings as they should be played, I made many more BB’s than I would have had I succumbed, and thereby limited and nearly eradicated my early losses. I won’t say this time that I’m over it or immune to it, but I can proudly report that it’s getting better, slowly but surely.

Note to the fishes: Pray for a quick death, cuz I’m steady coming for ya.

Obligatory Reminder:

Details: Wednesday, March 30th
$20 + $2 - No-Limit
Poker Stars - Private tournament tab
Password: thehammer

I can’t make it to the tourney tonight, but watch out anyway, Mrs. Head will be stepping in for me. Good Luck to everyone!

The death of the low-carb

The news was crying doomsday this morning because the low-carb fad has gone by the wayside. Were they actually expecting it to stick around? As a former bodybuilder, I’m all for the low-carb high protein diet combined with some good exercise, but the low-carb craze continues to piss me off.

A couple of weeks ago I made a trip to the store to pick up some stuff, and being in a hurry I simply grabbed some bagels on my way out. Yum, it’s been some time since I had a nice bagel. Get home, pop one in to toast, add some jam, take a bite. WTF?!! Who replaced my nice bagel with a sponge that tastes like notebook paper? I check the package and lo and behold, it’s a low-carb bagel, which sent me off on a tangent that scared the dogs and got severely on Mrs. Head’s nerves. Stupid goddamn low-carb crap. You can follow a good low-carb diet without all of the paper products manufactured to resemble food, and it’s a damn shame most don’t understand that.

Now it’s winding down, though, and big food is back, baby. Even if it is terrible for you, it is and always has been so very delicious. Word up to the Carl’s Jr. Double Thick Burger, a beef and pork heart attack extravaganza. Am I the only one who finds it simultaneously amusing and sad that as a society we can’t (or don’t want to) achieve any kind of balance? Four pound greaseburger or a paper bagel. What happened to all the normal stuff?

Just in case you’ve been off the planet or under a rock, here’s a WPBT tourney reminder:

Details: Wednesday, March 30th
$20 + $2 - No-Limit
Poker Stars - Private tournament tab
Password: thehammer

Also, while I’m giving out just in case nuggets, right now are some good times over at Stars. Compared to Party the cash games there have always been pretty slim pickings, but in the last 2-3 weeks they’ve gotten progressively looser and softer (the games, not Paris Hilton & friends, pay attention). I can only surmise that this is due to the simultaneous running of WPT and WSOP satellites and the like. A ton of loosey goosey people trying to luck their way into being another Moneymaker, who obviously enjoy spewing chips in between $2 Turbo Rebuy tourneys. It’s been like Party Poker extreme over the last few days. Just last night I witnessed an $83 pot on one of the $1/2 tables I was at. Eight months ago I would have cringed at such thing, now I jump up and down with glee like a short bus class that just inherited a million dollars….payable in candy and stickers.

Some people’s progression in this game is similar to that of the Tortoise.

Others are similar to the Hare.

Whichever one you are, if you’re decent and sit at one of these tables, you’ll get yours, no matter your speed.

Me Play Good Poker One Day

Oh Boy, Vegas just keeps getting closer. CJ is almost finished with the RSVP list, and it seems as though there will be no shortage of degenerates meeting up for some great fun. I am extremely pumped to meet everyone.

The bankroll continues slow (VERY slow) but steady progress, which is becoming frustrating. Last night, in the $2 Stars crapshoot, I clawed my way to 104^th out of 2325, only to make a stupid call and knock myself out. After much reflection last night, I think part of my frustration is the fact that I still haven’t mastered myself (no pun intended) enough to hang on in the late stages of a tourney. I work hard, stay patient, and concentrate, only to blow it in the late stages. Heh, I guess that’s why I’m still playing the $2 crapshoot.

On Friday I decided to take the opportunity to remind myself why I don’t play NL cash games. I completely suck at them. I think the reason for this is the fact that I’ve been focusing on Limit and am still in that mindset, so after donating $25 because of an overplayed JJ, that’s where I headed, back to the Limit tables. I think Limit stays more appealing to me simply because if I make a nasty error like overplaying my JJ it doesn’t cost me nearly as much. Granted, I can’t make quite as much, but I’m not necessarily playing to make a ton of money. Yes, I still want to make money, but at the level I play, I think that keeping the bankroll on a even keel with no real wild swings will allow me to keep the focus on learning, improving, and eventually stepping up.

Rounding out today’s confessional post, I must admit that I still haven’t fully accepted the fact that there is no justice in this game. I’ve posted several times in the past about how I’m coming to grips with this, but last night proved that I still haven’t really done so, and it makes me feel like a relapsed alcoholic. After busting out of the crapshoot I watched Mrs. Head in the process of working over some seriously tight passive’s at a $5 SnG, when the following occurred. Mrs. Head (big stack) gets AJs in the BB, button limps (2^nd big stack), SB completes. Mrs. Head raises to 5X BB (100/200 ante 25), button goes into the tank and calls, SB folds. Flop AJx, 2 diamonds. Mrs. Head pushes due to the diamonds on the board, and button calls off the rest of her money, and turns over 77, no diamond. Of course the turn spikes her 2-outer, leaving the Mrs. with about T800, which she lost about 3 hands later.

Cue the Human Head Hiroshima Tilt.

I think what really caused it was the choruses of ‘Great Call’ and ‘Great Play’ that followed the unlikely win. Even the girl who won thought it was a great play, not even for a second acknowledging how supremely lucky it was.

So, new rule. No more watching Mrs. Head play poker, at least until such time as I can develop an emotional IQ that is higher than that of a infant monkey. Perhaps a lobotomy would help. As we prepared for bed I decided to revisit SSHE since it’s been a few months, and it is something I need to do a bit more often with my poker literature. It made me feel much better to see that I have actually made some progress in my game. I found that I had really absorbed some of the lessons it contains, and as well highlighting some lessons that I had overlooked the first couple of times through.

With that in mind, I need to get a new book. I waffling between HEPFAP and The Theory of Poker. For those that have read these, what is your opinion? I want HEPFAP, but I think it would just confuse my game at it’s current level, so Theory of Poker is a better choice methinks. I love that word. Methinks. OK, just one more time. Methinks.

Talk to you all later.

It's Friday. It's Good.

I finally cashed in a SnG on FT last night, taking down a second, which should have been a first. After it was finished I started playing on a Limit table but logged off after about 15 minutes because I was tilting. Yes, that’s right, I tilted because of a second place finish. The specifics are unimportant, I’m just sick of completely dominated hands hitting their 1,2, and 3-outers all of the time. I realize my complaints don’t hold much water since I’m ahead on FT, but sometimes knowledge and feelings take a while to get aligned.

Now, Tales from the Seriously Deluded. On the news they had Terry Shiavo’s sister on saying that they are intentionally murdering a healthy 41 year old. Healthy? If you can’t live without a feeding tube, I don’t think the word healthy can be applied here. Oh yeah, since I don’t have an actual living will, I thought I would say something here. If I’m ever in a state like that, let me die. If you don’t let me die and drag the whole thing through an embarrassing and shameful public spectacle I swear I will come back to haunt and terrorize you for the rest of your life. I have a feeling I’d make one ugly apparition, plus I would be extra pissed off at being obligated to terrorize. I want to be lazy when I'm dead.

There was something else last night that bothered me a bit. While I played poker, we of course had The Apprentice on while waiting for The Office premier. In the boardroom, DT almost fired some guy because he chewed tobacco. OK, I acknowledge that chewing on a task/job is unprofessional, but that didn’t even figure in. DT was just ripping him because he chewed, not where. He said, “I don’t want someone working for me that chews tobacco.” Yes, chewing is a disgusting habit (IMO more disgusting than smoking, but I’m a smoker so I’m biased), but imagine the brouhaha that would have erupted had he said “I don’t want any people that eat too much and get fat working me, it’s disgusting.”

You like beets? That’s disgusting, I can’t have you working for me. You part your hair on THAT side? You use Aqua-Fresh and not Colgate?

I think now would be an appropriate time to break out the South Park episode with The Museum of Tolerance. C’mon now, Donald. You can do better than that.

Everyone remember to break out the Paas and the Peeps and have a Good Friday. Fuck that, have a Great Friday.

Easter?

Last night’s episode of the WPT had some good entertainment on tap in the form of Tony G. I love that guy. Scratch that, I love watching that guy. If I had to play with him I fear I might be overwhelmed by the urge to stab him in the throat. The WPT is so much better this year, except for one thing: The freaking voice-over commercials. I realize that this gripe is nothing new to anyone, but damn, they really suck. Those little 30 second craptastic productions really take away from the shows.

While watching, every time they showed Isabelle Mercier I had the strange urge to phone Mean Gene to make sure he was watching. I don’t know Gene, have never spoken with him, and certainly don’t have his telephone number, so why I kept thinking that is truly beyond me. I gotta get away from the computer.

Being bogged down with work and school junk, I played no poker last night, but I did get to sweat Mrs. Head as she broke her four SnG losing streak and garnered a second place. Longest $5 SnG EVER. Everyone except the top 3 were out before the blinds reached 50/100. From there they battled for nearly another hour and a half, absolutely unreal. No one could bust the others. Also, just when you start to think you have seen just about everything during the long hours at the virtual tables, POW!, something else comes along. I witnessed a one of the other players in that tourney get AA eight times. Eight Times! In 90 minutes! I need better math skills (to compliment my bo staff, nunchuck, and other assorted ninja skills); I would like to know what the odds are on that happening because it certainly seems that they would be very long.

Per usual, Easter is near and I had no idea. Thank goodness I have at least a few days notice so I can make sure I don’t get out on the roads on Sunday with all of those who view strict adherence to the speed limit as being directly proportional to the strength of one’s moral fiber. Tomorrow being Good Friday, I think I’m going to cook some lamb, perhaps with some risotto. Paired with a nice bottle of wine it should serve to turn Good Friday into Great Friday.

Also, if I’m able to snatch some extra time I may try to pen an ode to the Cadbury Egg, the king of Easter delicacies.

Dot, dot, dot

I just checked the rankings board for the WPBT, 137^th. Jeeebus, I’m some kinda monkey. I gotta do better on the next one, but I can’t. Why? It just dawned on me this morning that I have school stuff going on the entire evening of the 30^th. Stupid goddamn edyookashun. Mrs. Head will probably be representing in my stead and will most likely put my past performances to shame.

Full Tilt is slowly but surely causing some, well, Full Tilt. I couldn’t win an SnG there if you stuck a gun to my head. At this point, it’s becoming more my fault than the cards, because I found myself on my last try last night expecting to get bad beat with impossible cards, not good. I need to get these thoughts readjusted, and learn to adjust because things aren’t going to get any better the way I’m thinking now. (Gee, how’s that for the most obvious statement of the week?) I also got to play a bit with Shelly at the .50/1 tables, which was a good time. She was spanking fishies like an anger management attendee in a room full of behaviorally impaired kids. Quite a pleasure to watch as I hung around with my stack about even, watching all flops come completely opposite to any good cards that I picked up. I couldn’t stay long, though, as the aforementioned SnG had me on tilt enough to know it would be a good idea to log off for the night. Oy vey.

More hard-hitting stuff on the news today….Teens are abusing cold medicine, it’s called Skittling, because they look like Skittles, how novel. They had one girl on that kicked her ‘addiction’ and is busy raising awareness after taking 94 of the tablets, what a good little citizen. How come no one can seem to grasp the fact that 94 of pretty much anything isn’t very good?

94 pieces of bacon? Delicious, but not good.

Punching someone 94 times? Fun, but you’ll probably hurt yourself as bad as you hurt them in the end.

Working 94 days straight? Challenging, but bad for anyone.

Is being a teen something that people just forget about as they get older? I hate teens, but I still remember that I was one. I also remember that abusing things is what they do. ‘Tussin, eating/smoking morning glory seeds, etc., I would try nearly anything when I was a teen to see what would bring a buzz. Hell, one time I rolled up a french fry in a napkin and tried to smoke it just to see if I could. If you would have dared me, I would have tried to drink a 40 oz. of Olive Oil just to say I did. Point is, most teens will be abusing and/or experimenting with something. I wonder why folks continue to think new laws are going to solve this?

Ah well, time to turn off the TV and try to reclaim some of the sanity I originally had when I woke up.

Oooooh, Back to Work, Back to Work.

(please sing the above title to yourself like Adam Sandler in the Back to School song. If you don't know the song, watch Billy Madison, and shame on you for not having seen it earlier)

I know that I have a ton of stuff that I need to blather about, but I seem to be in the midst of a bit of post-trip overwhelmia (yeah, I made that word up), where you return from being away only to find out that, yes, life did continue unabated while you were away and now you have to play catch up.

Sunday I received a very nice surprise: Felicia left me a comment! I didn’t think she ever read my drivel, and even if that visit was the only one, it was much appreciated. My admiration of Felicia’s strong will and poker prowess continues to grow and my prayers are with her in light of the recent news. I certainly hope that when June rolls around the situation is well enough that I can meet her at the WPBT event.

Played me some poker all of Sunday afternoon, blah, blah, blah. I ended up a bit, but nothing real special so I won’t bore you with the mundane details. Instead, I’d much rather bore you by telling you what I cooked last night. Salmon steaks with a pineapple habanero relish, a nice field green salad with a honey balsamic dressing, and some fresh asparagus. Beautiful and effing delicious.

Since I bemoaned the trials and tribulations of business travel, I thought it was worth mentioning something that is good about it. I realized when I walked into work today that business travel has one pretty big good point, and that is the fact that while you may be working, you’re not actually AT work. Top it off with some craptastic Kansas weather and I’m ready to head back to AZ already.

I was going to write something completely witty here, but I just lost it. (Yea, I know, have another toke, Head). Thinking Big will have to wait until tomorrow, I guess.